three.
my neighbours scare me.
seriously. very scared =T.
i dislike living in the real ghetto.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
1+2
one.
after months and weeks and non-stop nagging the past 2 weeks by my parents. literally. endless nagging and fighting and arguing.
i have signed away at least a couple of years of my life. -_-".
two.
episode 20 of 蜗居。
我还是想嫁给小贝。
but then as i was thinking about this.
i realized. 小贝是一个女人笔下的创作。
现实生活中没有那么好的男人。
就算有。也不是我碰得上的。
完。
after months and weeks and non-stop nagging the past 2 weeks by my parents. literally. endless nagging and fighting and arguing.
i have signed away at least a couple of years of my life. -_-".
two.
episode 20 of 蜗居。
我还是想嫁给小贝。
but then as i was thinking about this.
i realized. 小贝是一个女人笔下的创作。
现实生活中没有那么好的男人。
就算有。也不是我碰得上的。
完。
Friday, December 25, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
宅。
最近好宅呀。。。宅到我妈都觉得我不正常了。
apparently tmr is xmas. o.O. did not realize at all. LOL.
I've been home 11 days... other than going to kingston.
i have left my house exactly 3 times. ... omg. o.O.
accomplishment this break.
11. days.
4. times i've left the house.
0. TV shows completed.
0. $ spent shopping.
1. book case cleaned out.
2. boxes unpacked -__-".
lol. mannnn. such a chill break =P.
loves it. ;)
oh! and!!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
apparently tmr is xmas. o.O. did not realize at all. LOL.
I've been home 11 days... other than going to kingston.
i have left my house exactly 3 times. ... omg. o.O.
accomplishment this break.
11. days.
4. times i've left the house.
0. TV shows completed.
0. $ spent shopping.
1. book case cleaned out.
2. boxes unpacked -__-".
lol. mannnn. such a chill break =P.
loves it. ;)
oh! and!!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
fulfuillment.
is simple.
i realize i don't want a lot. need a lot.
just chilling is good =).
i think i might just hermit all of next yr.
lol. i enjoy living life on my own terms.
i think i can call my experiment a success =).
so happy to see peng today.
so happy so happy so happy.
tho poor peng was so delirious.
heart friends. =). wish he didn't go to duke =(.
居然还会紧张。
晕死了。
i realize i don't want a lot. need a lot.
just chilling is good =).
i think i might just hermit all of next yr.
lol. i enjoy living life on my own terms.
i think i can call my experiment a success =).
so happy to see peng today.
so happy so happy so happy.
tho poor peng was so delirious.
heart friends. =). wish he didn't go to duke =(.
居然还会紧张。
晕死了。
Monday, December 14, 2009
the anticlimax.
after the mad cramming ends and all the dust settles...
all we are left... is this... anticlimatic end.
"convocation"... at the end of 4 long years.
this graduation is so drastically different from all other graduations.
in each previous educational institution, there was something better to look forward to after the end. something new and exciting, more fun, more freedom.
4 years go when we first entered this institution, it came, for many, a highly valued prize achieved after years of hard work. it came as affirmation, of one's wroth and achievements.
stepping into Goodes hall, sitting in 342 for the first time, the Director of the program proudly announced our class average and the highlights of some individuals amongst us, and reassured us for the nth time, that we were the best and brightest of this country, "cream of the crop",they used to say. We were excited and proud, ready to take on the new challenges that would be thrown our way.
However, 4 years later, after countless nights in a breakout room, numerous interviews and hours and hours of our youth, our best years, toiled away at meaningless assignments and buried in the library. Isn't it alarming that for most students, the highlight of their 4 years here was their term they spent away from this "cute university town" that we had so dearly longed for?
As graduation nears and the September plans are shared. I am disappointed. As I watch "the best and brightest", one by one, sign their lives away into yet another job, another company, excited only by the safety net they have secured, by the new "employed" status.... w/ a self assuring shrug they say, "just a couple of years, just a couple of years... until...."
where is the glory? where is the sense of accomplishment?
Yes, some people are going to the best companies in their industries. but so what? it's just another endless job, day after day, in the suit the office the commute.... none of this... excites me. after 4 years of "higher" education. I think I expected more. I think I thought it would help us find ourselves, help us reach our dreams, push us to new heights and truly inspire us., to use our talents and education to the betterment of society. I can only say, from my very subjective and perhaps, very ungrateful and negative perspective, that I am disappointed. If anything, the past 4 years have extinguished the fire that once lighted brightly inside of me, it has hardened me and took away the ability to dream. it has dulled me and made more "Practical". I can't help but wonder, what were the childhood dreams of our classmates? what are their true passions? How close has these past 4 years truly brought them closer to their original dreams? Or how far it has taken them in the other direction.
I don't regret coming to Queen's. Heck, I don't even regret going into Commerce. I just can't help but feel that this is such an anticlimatic ending to perhaps too naive a dream.
all we are left... is this... anticlimatic end.
"convocation"... at the end of 4 long years.
this graduation is so drastically different from all other graduations.
in each previous educational institution, there was something better to look forward to after the end. something new and exciting, more fun, more freedom.
4 years go when we first entered this institution, it came, for many, a highly valued prize achieved after years of hard work. it came as affirmation, of one's wroth and achievements.
stepping into Goodes hall, sitting in 342 for the first time, the Director of the program proudly announced our class average and the highlights of some individuals amongst us, and reassured us for the nth time, that we were the best and brightest of this country, "cream of the crop",they used to say. We were excited and proud, ready to take on the new challenges that would be thrown our way.
However, 4 years later, after countless nights in a breakout room, numerous interviews and hours and hours of our youth, our best years, toiled away at meaningless assignments and buried in the library. Isn't it alarming that for most students, the highlight of their 4 years here was their term they spent away from this "cute university town" that we had so dearly longed for?
As graduation nears and the September plans are shared. I am disappointed. As I watch "the best and brightest", one by one, sign their lives away into yet another job, another company, excited only by the safety net they have secured, by the new "employed" status.... w/ a self assuring shrug they say, "just a couple of years, just a couple of years... until...."
where is the glory? where is the sense of accomplishment?
Yes, some people are going to the best companies in their industries. but so what? it's just another endless job, day after day, in the suit the office the commute.... none of this... excites me. after 4 years of "higher" education. I think I expected more. I think I thought it would help us find ourselves, help us reach our dreams, push us to new heights and truly inspire us., to use our talents and education to the betterment of society. I can only say, from my very subjective and perhaps, very ungrateful and negative perspective, that I am disappointed. If anything, the past 4 years have extinguished the fire that once lighted brightly inside of me, it has hardened me and took away the ability to dream. it has dulled me and made more "Practical". I can't help but wonder, what were the childhood dreams of our classmates? what are their true passions? How close has these past 4 years truly brought them closer to their original dreams? Or how far it has taken them in the other direction.
I don't regret coming to Queen's. Heck, I don't even regret going into Commerce. I just can't help but feel that this is such an anticlimatic ending to perhaps too naive a dream.
Friday, December 11, 2009
ghosts of yearbooks past =P
edit: 6:50pm. DAMMIT why do I suddenly smell HOTPOT. GAH. cravings. grrrr.
i'm obviously procrastinating. more than i really should be. GAH. c'mon tina. pull it together. SOOO close.
SOO close to home. SOOOOO close to mommie & daddie. SOOOOOOO close to leaving my shack of a house. SOOOOOOOOOOoo close to my big big bed and my big big big big big closet. SO CLOSE.
5 essays. u can do this.
8 more chapters. u can do this.
i LOVE learning this. I DO. i'm just lazy.
shuddup tina. focus. enjoy this.
i AM enjoying this. i've just suddenly decided to enjoy the sun more than y txtbk. LOL.
c'monnnnnnnn tina. SO close.
but yeah.
dug out old pictures. from um... grade 12 yearbook... (have i actually picked it up yet? LOL. can't remember)
funny funny funny. made me very nostalgic.
yes campbell was crazy. yes ward was.. o.O... i don't know.
i think it's funny how i said it has been "unforgettable". cuz i obviously have forgotten. purposely forgotten. LOL. the things we say for social conventions.
and haha. i tagged u in that picture. lol. i find that funny. i also find it funny how u have yet to untag. i also love how the majority of the ppl listed in that picture did not goto Ward. LOL. what a ghost of an existence. LOL.
i'm glad it all happened. and i think i'd gladly put on that uniform and hang out back in those self study rooms again. i'm grateful. for afterall. ward did save me didn't it? =）.
i'm obviously procrastinating. more than i really should be. GAH. c'mon tina. pull it together. SOOO close.
SOO close to home. SOOOOO close to mommie & daddie. SOOOOOOO close to leaving my shack of a house. SOOOOOOOOOOoo close to my big big bed and my big big big big big closet. SO CLOSE.
5 essays. u can do this.
8 more chapters. u can do this.
i LOVE learning this. I DO. i'm just lazy.
shuddup tina. focus. enjoy this.
i AM enjoying this. i've just suddenly decided to enjoy the sun more than y txtbk. LOL.
c'monnnnnnnn tina. SO close.
but yeah.
dug out old pictures. from um... grade 12 yearbook... (have i actually picked it up yet? LOL. can't remember)
funny funny funny. made me very nostalgic.
yes campbell was crazy. yes ward was.. o.O... i don't know.
i think it's funny how i said it has been "unforgettable". cuz i obviously have forgotten. purposely forgotten. LOL. the things we say for social conventions.
and haha. i tagged u in that picture. lol. i find that funny. i also find it funny how u have yet to untag. i also love how the majority of the ppl listed in that picture did not goto Ward. LOL. what a ghost of an existence. LOL.
i'm glad it all happened. and i think i'd gladly put on that uniform and hang out back in those self study rooms again. i'm grateful. for afterall. ward did save me didn't it? =）.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
LMAO
ZT from XN
1.
王心凌《爱你》，S.H.E《我爱你》，Beyond《真的爱你》，李宗盛《我是真的爱你》，言承旭《我是真的真的很爱你》。
点评：有这么这么复杂么？
2.王菲《如果你是假的》，邓丽君《假如我是真的》，萧正楠《假如我是假的》，孟庭苇《真的还是假的》 。
点评：靠，能退货么？
3.成龙《我是谁》，蟑螂《忘了我是谁》，蔡依林《你是谁》，许志安《忘了你是谁》。
点评：你们都需要脑白金！
4.萧亚轩《一辈子做你的女孩》，龙梅子《下辈子做你的女人》。
点评：不错，成熟了！
5.朴树《我爱你 再见》，丁薇
《再见 我爱你》
点评：不送……
6.苏永康《男人不该让女人流泪》，陈小春《女人不该让男人太累》。
点评：多么体贴的小夫妻啊！
7.姜育恒《爱我你怕了吗》，孙燕姿《害怕》，王力宏《不要害怕》，潘玮柏《我不怕》，赵薇《不怕》，郭美美《不怕不怕啦》，郑伊健《怕什么，什么也不怕》。
点评：真是人多胆子大！
8.董文华《春天的故事》，杨千桦《夏天的故事》，陈艾玲《秋天的故事》，马天宇《冬天的故事》。
点评：真是天天故事会啊！
9. 王心凌《honey》，孙燕姿《honeyhoney》，萧亚轩《honeyhoneyhoney》
点评：你们全家卖蜂蜜的
1.
王心凌《爱你》，S.H.E《我爱你》，Beyond《真的爱你》，李宗盛《我是真的爱你》，言承旭《我是真的真的很爱你》。
点评：有这么这么复杂么？
2.王菲《如果你是假的》，邓丽君《假如我是真的》，萧正楠《假如我是假的》，孟庭苇《真的还是假的》 。
点评：靠，能退货么？
3.成龙《我是谁》，蟑螂《忘了我是谁》，蔡依林《你是谁》，许志安《忘了你是谁》。
点评：你们都需要脑白金！
4.萧亚轩《一辈子做你的女孩》，龙梅子《下辈子做你的女人》。
点评：不错，成熟了！
5.朴树《我爱你 再见》，丁薇
《再见 我爱你》
点评：不送……
6.苏永康《男人不该让女人流泪》，陈小春《女人不该让男人太累》。
点评：多么体贴的小夫妻啊！
7.姜育恒《爱我你怕了吗》，孙燕姿《害怕》，王力宏《不要害怕》，潘玮柏《我不怕》，赵薇《不怕》，郭美美《不怕不怕啦》，郑伊健《怕什么，什么也不怕》。
点评：真是人多胆子大！
8.董文华《春天的故事》，杨千桦《夏天的故事》，陈艾玲《秋天的故事》，马天宇《冬天的故事》。
点评：真是天天故事会啊！
9. 王心凌《honey》，孙燕姿《honeyhoney》，萧亚轩《honeyhoneyhoney》
点评：你们全家卖蜂蜜的
fathers.
... sad.
dear boys: when you grow up and become a father. please call your daughters often. they like to hear from you. not just when u need something from them. please call normally too. -__-" they'd appreciate it. really.
sad... =(.
so surprised to get a call from daddie today. and was so excited. OMG he misses me too!!!!! awesomeness. and then within 2 minutes it became clear that he was only calling because he had discovered yet another "opportunity" and wanted me to look into it for him... even though he knows i'm in the middle of exams. =(.
officially sad =(.
dear boys: when you grow up and become a father. please call your daughters often. they like to hear from you. not just when u need something from them. please call normally too. -__-" they'd appreciate it. really.
sad... =(.
so surprised to get a call from daddie today. and was so excited. OMG he misses me too!!!!! awesomeness. and then within 2 minutes it became clear that he was only calling because he had discovered yet another "opportunity" and wanted me to look into it for him... even though he knows i'm in the middle of exams. =(.
officially sad =(.
Friday, December 4, 2009
this moment.
closest to perfection.
with bright bright sunshine flooding through the large large large floor to ceiling windows at the new CoGrow, and mad snow outside at the same time. odd oxymoron but oh so awesome.
and my awesome piece of caramel crumble.
happy music at the cogro.
heart all of this. heart heart heart.
AHHH and as i was typing this, the snow ceased... and the sun has taken over... baby blue skies anf fluffy clouds =).
loving it all =).
with bright bright sunshine flooding through the large large large floor to ceiling windows at the new CoGrow, and mad snow outside at the same time. odd oxymoron but oh so awesome.
and my awesome piece of caramel crumble.
happy music at the cogro.
heart all of this. heart heart heart.
AHHH and as i was typing this, the snow ceased... and the sun has taken over... baby blue skies anf fluffy clouds =).
loving it all =).
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
renren.com
每次无聊在校内转，总是会勾起一种很奇怪的感觉。
可能因为当年的一切，对年幼无知的我，可能发生的太快太突然。
可能因为从小就没有什么真正所谓的大梦想。
能够想起来的也仅仅是想给爸爸妈妈买一个大房子然后自己画画。
真的。 就尽此而已。可以说是很胸无大志吧。
小时候的生活圈子很小。只是很努力的学习，常常说一个班就是一家人。
而我们理所当然的应该一起长大。。。而那栋只有三层的教学楼就是我的全世界，
只是希望有一天可以被选成升旗手，帅气的让那面五星红旗飘扬。
从班长到中队到大队，三年‘好孩子’之后在三年'三好学生',
然后保送到四中然后北大中文，这一切都是理所当然应该发生的事情。
可这一切在一夜之间全然失踪。 曾经认为应得的东西突然都飘散了。
飘洋过海开始全新的生活。
或许我还有些不公平，无论最后结果如何，虽然知道很多人很羡慕，
但我还是觉得我的生活无奈的被打乱了，而安排好的人生路线也失踪了。
在校内晃悠，在北大蹭课，在食堂吃1块钱的西红柿鸡蛋面，骑着破车在北京大街小巷里乱逛，和路边小贩狂侃，从很多程度上来讲，这都是我认为我原本会过的生活所以很珍惜，很享受。
在校内，会看到很多事情很多故事很多感受，常常会想，嗯。本来我也会是这样的。
向往不是因为羡慕。羡慕不是因为生在福中不知福，只是因为安排好的生活有了变化。。。
可能因为当年的一切，对年幼无知的我，可能发生的太快太突然。
可能因为从小就没有什么真正所谓的大梦想。
能够想起来的也仅仅是想给爸爸妈妈买一个大房子然后自己画画。
真的。 就尽此而已。可以说是很胸无大志吧。
小时候的生活圈子很小。只是很努力的学习，常常说一个班就是一家人。
而我们理所当然的应该一起长大。。。而那栋只有三层的教学楼就是我的全世界，
只是希望有一天可以被选成升旗手，帅气的让那面五星红旗飘扬。
从班长到中队到大队，三年‘好孩子’之后在三年'三好学生',
然后保送到四中然后北大中文，这一切都是理所当然应该发生的事情。
可这一切在一夜之间全然失踪。 曾经认为应得的东西突然都飘散了。
飘洋过海开始全新的生活。
或许我还有些不公平，无论最后结果如何，虽然知道很多人很羡慕，
但我还是觉得我的生活无奈的被打乱了，而安排好的人生路线也失踪了。
在校内晃悠，在北大蹭课，在食堂吃1块钱的西红柿鸡蛋面，骑着破车在北京大街小巷里乱逛，和路边小贩狂侃，从很多程度上来讲，这都是我认为我原本会过的生活所以很珍惜，很享受。
在校内，会看到很多事情很多故事很多感受，常常会想，嗯。本来我也会是这样的。
向往不是因为羡慕。羡慕不是因为生在福中不知福，只是因为安排好的生活有了变化。。。
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
ahhhh. mad cram for test in 82 minutes. mad mad mad cram. LOL.
then i can say i'm officially done one course for the term =D. excited!
anywya. falling at stauff. and started listening to LP - cuz the only thing on my playlist that's not all like. slow and melancholy and uhhh. lithargic. haha.... but mannnn. o.o. LP.. LOL. suddenly i listen to the lyrics and i'm like... whoa.... funny. funny how it used to say everything. funny how i'm totally okay. LOL.
such a vivid dream the night before last.
and i'll admit that in the moment. it was wonderful. and i missed u. i missed us.
but then it's all so amazing how it's all totally fine now. haha.
i hope u r well.
GAH. xmas plans. LOL. darn....
my um... propensity for awkward situations have declined significantly in my old age. LOL. i think when i was younger, these awkward situations were a strange curiosity to me and i embraced the awkwardness. LOL. but now... as i stare at the guestlist of yeses i'm just like. lmao..... let's avoid and not make things awkward. =P. oh dear xmas.... LOL... dear toronto and ghosts of xmases past. LOL. *awkward laughter. hahaha. =P
btw. this reminds me of what she said abt me a couple months ago. "see. the old tee would've been like... oh... hole!... *JUMP. lol. whereas nowwwww. it's like... oh ew. hole. uh... *skips around happily, avoids hole and keeps going =DDDDD" LOL. sometimes i think maturity is awesome. maybe getting old isn't so bad after all =P.
then i can say i'm officially done one course for the term =D. excited!
anywya. falling at stauff. and started listening to LP - cuz the only thing on my playlist that's not all like. slow and melancholy and uhhh. lithargic. haha.... but mannnn. o.o. LP.. LOL. suddenly i listen to the lyrics and i'm like... whoa.... funny. funny how it used to say everything. funny how i'm totally okay. LOL.
such a vivid dream the night before last.
and i'll admit that in the moment. it was wonderful. and i missed u. i missed us.
but then it's all so amazing how it's all totally fine now. haha.
i hope u r well.
GAH. xmas plans. LOL. darn....
my um... propensity for awkward situations have declined significantly in my old age. LOL. i think when i was younger, these awkward situations were a strange curiosity to me and i embraced the awkwardness. LOL. but now... as i stare at the guestlist of yeses i'm just like. lmao..... let's avoid and not make things awkward. =P. oh dear xmas.... LOL... dear toronto and ghosts of xmases past. LOL. *awkward laughter. hahaha. =P
btw. this reminds me of what she said abt me a couple months ago. "see. the old tee would've been like... oh... hole!... *JUMP. lol. whereas nowwwww. it's like... oh ew. hole. uh... *skips around happily, avoids hole and keeps going =DDDDD" LOL. sometimes i think maturity is awesome. maybe getting old isn't so bad after all =P.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
sun! =D
i loveee waking up to sunshine. honestly one of the most important things in my life. =D. kingston is so pretty w/ sun =D. go out and enjoy it guysss! according to weather channel. may very well be the last time we see sun in a WHILE. *sad. lol.
but it's super nice today. awesomeness =).
but it's super nice today. awesomeness =).
Friday, November 27, 2009
running dialogue.
- sitting at maccorry by the windows after breakfast w/ the bff.
a mid-aged man w/ a long coat and long black umbrella and a PIPE! walks by casually outside the windows. o.O. Tina thinks she's seeing things.. LOL.
was on someone's fb this morning and it said, "i left a piece of my heart in europe". and the first thought that popped into my head was "i left my ENTIRE heart in Beijing". LOL. sad but true. saw something yesterday that made me miss beijing massively. - plastic bag covered bike seats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. i KNOW. o.O. first reaction was really... wait... where am i? o.O. what's going on?! y am i so confused?! and THEN. i'm like. OMG. o.O. wtf? and then... hmmmm. i wonder... is this normal? LOL. i swear i've never seen other ppl do this before in canada... o.O. a big part of me wanted to stay around and see if those ppl that come to pick up their bikes were asian. LOL. but it was raining and yeah. =(. it was 5 or 6 bikes that had the plastic covering!!!! I remember thinking in Beijing that that was the smartest thing ever... lol. GASH i miss beijing. *sniff.
OH! other cute occurence at MC today. an elderly couple sitting behind us eating breakfast together and then reading the paper. so cute =D. i heart breakfast. =D.
so excited for flip cup tonight. been wanting to play since beijing! having friends is awesomeeeeeee.
got library notice today that dansu dansu dansu that i had placed on hold has arrived at my home library... except my library card is here w/ me. *sad. been meaning to read that book for a long while now... in memory of andrius. *prays/hopes/wishes that u're doing well and u're happy where u r. we're thinking of u often. =).
this week has just flownnnn by. last week of school coming up soonnnn. *sad/excited. man i miss bridge. lol.
- p.s. still in search of an item i want for xmassssssss =)
a mid-aged man w/ a long coat and long black umbrella and a PIPE! walks by casually outside the windows. o.O. Tina thinks she's seeing things.. LOL.
was on someone's fb this morning and it said, "i left a piece of my heart in europe". and the first thought that popped into my head was "i left my ENTIRE heart in Beijing". LOL. sad but true. saw something yesterday that made me miss beijing massively. - plastic bag covered bike seats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. i KNOW. o.O. first reaction was really... wait... where am i? o.O. what's going on?! y am i so confused?! and THEN. i'm like. OMG. o.O. wtf? and then... hmmmm. i wonder... is this normal? LOL. i swear i've never seen other ppl do this before in canada... o.O. a big part of me wanted to stay around and see if those ppl that come to pick up their bikes were asian. LOL. but it was raining and yeah. =(. it was 5 or 6 bikes that had the plastic covering!!!! I remember thinking in Beijing that that was the smartest thing ever... lol. GASH i miss beijing. *sniff.
OH! other cute occurence at MC today. an elderly couple sitting behind us eating breakfast together and then reading the paper. so cute =D. i heart breakfast. =D.
so excited for flip cup tonight. been wanting to play since beijing! having friends is awesomeeeeeee.
got library notice today that dansu dansu dansu that i had placed on hold has arrived at my home library... except my library card is here w/ me. *sad. been meaning to read that book for a long while now... in memory of andrius. *prays/hopes/wishes that u're doing well and u're happy where u r. we're thinking of u often. =).
this week has just flownnnn by. last week of school coming up soonnnn. *sad/excited. man i miss bridge. lol.
- p.s. still in search of an item i want for xmassssssss =)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
joy =D.
mannn. i sound like a retard. but being happy is AWESOME.
lol. been having such a great week so far.
so much work to do but it's alllll good =P.
i think happy things happen to happy ppl. LOL. =D.
!!!!.
artsy boys are HOT. seriously.
my hardcore renaissance art class today. sat beside this guy who had really awesome writing. LOL. aaaaaaaaaand. he kept doodling on the side of his paper. such a great artist. tina is officially impressed. mannnn i like artsy boys =P. if only i can get that asian dude to talk to me. ^_^.
aaaaand. ARC ARC ARC!
so excitinggggg. been counting down for sooooooooo long. it's finally cominggggg! =D.
a lil sad that the PEC is closing though. all these scary signs everywhere "WE'RE CLOSING. CLEAN OUT YOUR LOCKER!"... lol. gahhh. still. can't wait can't wait can't wait! =)
so sad.... think i'm really really really gonna miss university really really really soon.
not as much as i miss beijing today... but... still! =P. gotta enjoy this last 5 months to the MAX =).
AND. omg. so much to look forward in the next couple of weeks i don't know if can handle it. LOL. LIFE drawing session this wknd. omg. can't wait!. it's been so long. heart QDP... now titled Expressions.. o.O. lol. ooooooooookay. lol. anyway.
man.. i'm like.. high on life. i'm excited about going GROCERY shopping tmr.. LOL. living close to Metro is awesome. =).
joyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
lol. been having such a great week so far.
so much work to do but it's alllll good =P.
i think happy things happen to happy ppl. LOL. =D.
!!!!.
artsy boys are HOT. seriously.
my hardcore renaissance art class today. sat beside this guy who had really awesome writing. LOL. aaaaaaaaaand. he kept doodling on the side of his paper. such a great artist. tina is officially impressed. mannnn i like artsy boys =P. if only i can get that asian dude to talk to me. ^_^.
aaaaand. ARC ARC ARC!
so excitinggggg. been counting down for sooooooooo long. it's finally cominggggg! =D.
a lil sad that the PEC is closing though. all these scary signs everywhere "WE'RE CLOSING. CLEAN OUT YOUR LOCKER!"... lol. gahhh. still. can't wait can't wait can't wait! =)
so sad.... think i'm really really really gonna miss university really really really soon.
not as much as i miss beijing today... but... still! =P. gotta enjoy this last 5 months to the MAX =).
AND. omg. so much to look forward in the next couple of weeks i don't know if can handle it. LOL. LIFE drawing session this wknd. omg. can't wait!. it's been so long. heart QDP... now titled Expressions.. o.O. lol. ooooooooookay. lol. anyway.
man.. i'm like.. high on life. i'm excited about going GROCERY shopping tmr.. LOL. living close to Metro is awesome. =).
joyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
comfort in familiarity.
people think i'm weird.
i think i'm just boring.
because i like re-watching things.
i like re-watching movies.
i like re-reading books.
i like going to the same places and doing the same things.
i find that comforting.
i like knowing the ending will be one that i like.
i like the... "satisfaction guarantee".
in a world where everything is changing and when we have so lil control over what happens...
i find comfort in familiarity.
i think i'm just boring.
because i like re-watching things.
i like re-watching movies.
i like re-reading books.
i like going to the same places and doing the same things.
i find that comforting.
i like knowing the ending will be one that i like.
i like the... "satisfaction guarantee".
in a world where everything is changing and when we have so lil control over what happens...
i find comfort in familiarity.
Monday, November 23, 2009
nts.
i do not enjoy talking about my past.
please remember this and stop sharing.
seriously tina. remember this.
instead. look at the present & future.
it's all so AWESOME. =D.
sooooooooooo excited about ARC =).
So excited about tmr. b/c then no more papers for 120.
so excited about day after tmr. b/c all "tests" r done for the term.
so much mmore to look forward to =D.
please remember this and stop sharing.
seriously tina. remember this.
instead. look at the present & future.
it's all so AWESOME. =D.
sooooooooooo excited about ARC =).
So excited about tmr. b/c then no more papers for 120.
so excited about day after tmr. b/c all "tests" r done for the term.
so much mmore to look forward to =D.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
happy. =)
wow i haven't been this happy in a whileeee. lol.
happy days happy days happy days =D.
i really like this new system i've been working under. joy =).
list of all the things that made me happy today:
morrison's+. bff. lake+. QL. txts. vball. groceries. cooking. grey's+. starbucks. xmas. tiff. productivity =D. oH! counting down the days to ARC!
life is awesome.
happy days happy days happy days =D.
i really like this new system i've been working under. joy =).
list of all the things that made me happy today:
morrison's+. bff. lake+. QL. txts. vball. groceries. cooking. grey's+. starbucks. xmas. tiff. productivity =D. oH! counting down the days to ARC!
life is awesome.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
christmas!
i actually really like christmas. like. really really. =).
3 weeks til homeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. =DDDDDDDDDD.
christmas parade in Kingston TWICE =].
lil kids r so cute =).
christmas songs make me super happy too =D.
think i was deprived of christmasy christmas last year.
lol.
*wishing for a white christmas =).
anddddddddd. . . . . .
you ;)
3 weeks til homeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. =DDDDDDDDDD.
christmas parade in Kingston TWICE =].
lil kids r so cute =).
christmas songs make me super happy too =D.
think i was deprived of christmasy christmas last year.
lol.
*wishing for a white christmas =).
anddddddddd. . . . . .
you ;)
live.
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The
Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:"
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God.. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".
26. Always choose life.
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. Time heals almost everything.. Give time, time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Yield.
44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
bb - all u need is love.
anyone else.... think that blackberry's most recent marketing campaign is ... risky?
yes this summer we learned that emotions do appeal to people better than anything else.
8 hours listening to focus groups proved that.
however. bb's telling ppl to... "do what they love."...
given the ppl that use blackberrys.... o.O.... isn't that a lil dangerous? LOL.
but then agian... maybe this is bb's targeting the younger population.
i mean. i did see it during gossip girl... LOL.
yes this summer we learned that emotions do appeal to people better than anything else.
8 hours listening to focus groups proved that.
however. bb's telling ppl to... "do what they love."...
given the ppl that use blackberrys.... o.O.... isn't that a lil dangerous? LOL.
but then agian... maybe this is bb's targeting the younger population.
i mean. i did see it during gossip girl... LOL.
ctrl what we can.
we have no ctrl over the things that happen to us.
but we have ctrl over how we let those things affect our lives.
and ctrl over how we choose to react.
those things happened. yes.
but maybe it just needs a restatement.
=)
but we have ctrl over how we let those things affect our lives.
and ctrl over how we choose to react.
those things happened. yes.
but maybe it just needs a restatement.
=)
Friday, November 13, 2009
敏感。
这两个星期对两个字非常的敏感。
我莫名其妙的觉得这一切的发生都不在我的控制之内。
而我的生活，却不由自主地被这些莫名其妙操纵着。
我讨厌被人利用。真的。很讨厌。
那天我们讨论个人性格里最受什么的影响。
我自然是情绪化。
很清楚。因为我的情绪化我很容易被人利用。
我知道。
我病了。
好像很久没有病得这么厉害了。
其实原因我觉得跟上个星期发生的事情有一定的关系。
因为其实那件事情对我的影响真得很大。
只是觉得很无助。
很无奈的再次被漩涡吞没。
他说，从来不会问电视剧里的人他们还好不好。
当她听到，然后问了一句"are u okay?"
当场我就泪流满面。
大家好像都在看八卦新闻的样子再看这件事。
而我却确确实实的生活在其中。
我好像是在生气。生气她来找我，生气我被卷入其中。
我也好像在生气。生气自己居然会生气。
生气自己不能更好地面对，居然为这种事影响自己的生活。
明明已经长大了，却比小时候更不能解决这种事情。
而一个多星期后，当事人却好好的，貌似一点事都没有。
所以我觉得我被利用了。而我讨厌被利用。
还有错觉。
情绪化的人应该常常被错觉误导吧。
很容易被一些很小的举动而感动。以为那就是真的。
其实都是错觉而已。
陈晓悦，你tmd给我振作。
多大一个人了，少tmd给我丢人现眼。
我莫名其妙的觉得这一切的发生都不在我的控制之内。
而我的生活，却不由自主地被这些莫名其妙操纵着。
我讨厌被人利用。真的。很讨厌。
那天我们讨论个人性格里最受什么的影响。
我自然是情绪化。
很清楚。因为我的情绪化我很容易被人利用。
我知道。
我病了。
好像很久没有病得这么厉害了。
其实原因我觉得跟上个星期发生的事情有一定的关系。
因为其实那件事情对我的影响真得很大。
只是觉得很无助。
很无奈的再次被漩涡吞没。
他说，从来不会问电视剧里的人他们还好不好。
当她听到，然后问了一句"are u okay?"
当场我就泪流满面。
大家好像都在看八卦新闻的样子再看这件事。
而我却确确实实的生活在其中。
我好像是在生气。生气她来找我，生气我被卷入其中。
我也好像在生气。生气自己居然会生气。
生气自己不能更好地面对，居然为这种事影响自己的生活。
明明已经长大了，却比小时候更不能解决这种事情。
而一个多星期后，当事人却好好的，貌似一点事都没有。
所以我觉得我被利用了。而我讨厌被利用。
还有错觉。
情绪化的人应该常常被错觉误导吧。
很容易被一些很小的举动而感动。以为那就是真的。
其实都是错觉而已。
陈晓悦，你tmd给我振作。
多大一个人了，少tmd给我丢人现眼。
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
karma.
so last week.
i skipped my midterm because... let's just say... life happened.
i didn't wanna hafta explain to prof so i said i was sick w/ flu.
this week.
my rescheduled midterm is in 18 hours.
and i am legitimately sick.
like. ready to fall and collapse and sleep for 20 hours sick.
seriously. karma hates me.
i skipped my midterm because... let's just say... life happened.
i didn't wanna hafta explain to prof so i said i was sick w/ flu.
this week.
my rescheduled midterm is in 18 hours.
and i am legitimately sick.
like. ready to fall and collapse and sleep for 20 hours sick.
seriously. karma hates me.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
wishful thinking.
it's like thru a glass ceiling.
them. so innocent. so complete.
it's like a lie u keep telling urself.
if u're w/ them long enuff u too,
may, h e a l .
i don't know why i tried explaining.
i wonder if i actually expected them to get it.
let's stfu.
let's not mar them.
no one likes broken toys.
just thought we were done.
just thought it was... s a f e again.
them. so innocent. so complete.
it's like a lie u keep telling urself.
if u're w/ them long enuff u too,
may, h e a l .
i don't know why i tried explaining.
i wonder if i actually expected them to get it.
let's stfu.
let's not mar them.
no one likes broken toys.
just thought we were done.
just thought it was... s a f e again.
in pursuit of happiness.
we run. we cling. we do w/e we can.
we give up everything. willingly.
sent tumbling back thru time.
moral obligations.
this is a week of reminders.
deep breath. don't falter.
.
i can't rmb the last time i felt this nauseated.
postponing my midterm tonight.
can't do this.
.
again the same question that's been in my mind all week ponders.
. . . did we really think we'd all escape unscathed?
.
we give up everything. willingly.
sent tumbling back thru time.
moral obligations.
this is a week of reminders.
deep breath. don't falter.
.
i can't rmb the last time i felt this nauseated.
postponing my midterm tonight.
can't do this.
.
again the same question that's been in my mind all week ponders.
. . . did we really think we'd all escape unscathed?
.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
可以不可以。
可不可以让我回到突然长大那一天
那一刻他的吻改变我的世界
可不可以这个夏天这些故事能永远
球场边界外线我们已越走越远
我可以划一个圈把自己关在里面
把回忆挡在外面
却不能停止想念在我的天空蔓延
他有的善良和善变
我可以划一个圈当做是完美句点
还他自由的蓝天
却不能停止想念一幕幕甜美画面
如果放弃了这一切
那么在我身体里的灵魂是谁
可不可以让我练习心碎时候有笑脸
等着他已走远才能落下眼泪
可不可以让我消失在地平线这瞬间
哭过了冷却了起风了却不能飞
我可以划一个圈把自己关在里面
把回忆挡在外面
却不能停止想念在我的天空蔓延
他有的善良和善变
我可以划一个圈当做是完美句点
还他自由的蓝天
却不能停止想念一幕幕甜美画面
如果放弃了这一切
那么在我身体里的灵魂是谁
我可以划一个圈把自己关在里面
把回忆挡在外面
却不能停止想念在我的天空蔓延
他有的善良和善变
我可以划一个圈当做是完美句点
还他自由的蓝天
却不能停止想念一幕幕甜美画面
如果放弃了这一切
那么在我身体里的灵魂是谁
所以我可以一直拥抱心碎
我决定的事情，尤其这种事情。
一般不会改变。自欺欺人对谁都不好。
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
procrastination #2.
i promise to seriously start my essay as soon as i'm done this.
the fb wall post was quite touching. i was very impressed. thanks dear. lol.
i was thinking all the things i would actually want to do.
thinking of the things that make people feel fulfilled and happy.
funny because i realize i really don't need much.
i enjoy nice coffee shops. like bridge.
w/ sunshine and big windows and nice music.
i enjoy big busy cities. like toronto, or beijing.
but more so when i'm insulated away from it,
like in a car, or in an apartment, or something.
i enjoy volleyball. but only when everyone's really into it.
quiet games kill me. i live for the share adrenaline ＆ excitement.
i enjoy chilling on my own. doing things my way, when and how i want.
lol. i'm so antisocial sometimes. i enjoy my own bubble too much.
i want to find something i'm truly passionate about.
pg friend went to hbs, has passion in video games, now he produces video games by playing games all day, adding diff features that he thinks are cool, and then playing more games. o.O
my mother seriously just wanted to be a doctor. and gave up higher paying, chill jobs to go work longer hours, neglect her child and save the children of strangers.
my father was just... randomly impressed by trains and wanted to work with something train-related. then decided that the stock market was cooler and devoted the rest of his leisure time to that.
some ppl like cooking. so they cook. or become a chef.
some ppl actually really care about finance and econ. and therefore go into business.
other ppl like fashion. and live & breathe fashion. give up solid job offers to go into the fashion industry.
i respect all these ppl. that do things that they truly enjoy and care about.
i love the commies that have decided to do something unconventional, outside of the commerce bubble. i think they are awesome.
i even respect ppl who have legit hobbies or things that they do outside of work that keep them sane and happy and passionate.
i'm chill. i should be grateful. and oh i really really am.
i just feel like... somewhere along the way. i forgot.
i can't remember what i really really really enjoy.
i can't remember what i was reallly passionate about.
not an interview answer. but a real answer.
yet. as i wrote that last 2 lines. i remembered.
ma raison d'etre.
how dare i forget.
yet somehow. after 12 years. that no longer seems to be enough.
side note - wow... if all of the above were words for my essay. i'd be half way done now. LOL. fail tina fail -_-"
the fb wall post was quite touching. i was very impressed. thanks dear. lol.
i was thinking all the things i would actually want to do.
thinking of the things that make people feel fulfilled and happy.
funny because i realize i really don't need much.
i enjoy nice coffee shops. like bridge.
w/ sunshine and big windows and nice music.
i enjoy big busy cities. like toronto, or beijing.
but more so when i'm insulated away from it,
like in a car, or in an apartment, or something.
i enjoy volleyball. but only when everyone's really into it.
quiet games kill me. i live for the share adrenaline ＆ excitement.
i enjoy chilling on my own. doing things my way, when and how i want.
lol. i'm so antisocial sometimes. i enjoy my own bubble too much.
i want to find something i'm truly passionate about.
pg friend went to hbs, has passion in video games, now he produces video games by playing games all day, adding diff features that he thinks are cool, and then playing more games. o.O
my mother seriously just wanted to be a doctor. and gave up higher paying, chill jobs to go work longer hours, neglect her child and save the children of strangers.
my father was just... randomly impressed by trains and wanted to work with something train-related. then decided that the stock market was cooler and devoted the rest of his leisure time to that.
some ppl like cooking. so they cook. or become a chef.
some ppl actually really care about finance and econ. and therefore go into business.
other ppl like fashion. and live & breathe fashion. give up solid job offers to go into the fashion industry.
i respect all these ppl. that do things that they truly enjoy and care about.
i love the commies that have decided to do something unconventional, outside of the commerce bubble. i think they are awesome.
i even respect ppl who have legit hobbies or things that they do outside of work that keep them sane and happy and passionate.
i'm chill. i should be grateful. and oh i really really am.
i just feel like... somewhere along the way. i forgot.
i can't remember what i really really really enjoy.
i can't remember what i was reallly passionate about.
not an interview answer. but a real answer.
yet. as i wrote that last 2 lines. i remembered.
ma raison d'etre.
how dare i forget.
yet somehow. after 12 years. that no longer seems to be enough.
side note - wow... if all of the above were words for my essay. i'd be half way done now. LOL. fail tina fail -_-"
happiness deferrers.
came across this randomly today.
http://iwanttobeaca.blogspot.com/2009/08/happiness-deferrers.html
i think it relates to everything. not just CA-wannabes.
i think i've finally stopped being one.
after years and years of "just one more week. let me just get thru this week and it will all be okkay."
my goals and "milestones" stopped working for me after summer of first year.
again.
life should be spent doing what makes me happy. =)
and for now. that means vball & friends & chill =)
http://iwanttobeaca.blogspot.com/2009/08/happiness-deferrers.html
i think it relates to everything. not just CA-wannabes.
i think i've finally stopped being one.
after years and years of "just one more week. let me just get thru this week and it will all be okkay."
my goals and "milestones" stopped working for me after summer of first year.
again.
life should be spent doing what makes me happy. =)
and for now. that means vball & friends & chill =)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
small gestures
never under estimate the power of small gestures.
small things can make a big difference.
ppl are social beings.
ppl need to be appreciated.
ppl need ppl to care.
ppl complain about commercialization of human relationships.
with vday and mother's day and father's day and even xmas.
ppl say that kind of love is constant, there shouldn't be one special day for it.
i agree. in the sense that some grand gesture on that one day shouldn't be able to make up for the other 364.25 days of neglect. in the sense that love shouldn't be expressed in gifts.
but at least it's a reminder. for those that forget to remember.
i'm grateful for the lovely lovely ppl who were able to come together with such short notice despite their schedules to make the small gesture happen tonight.
i'm grateful for the existence of multiple social networking sites and multiple reminder systems that remind us of the days that matter.
i'll try to be more vigilant =P.
oh. and.
ps.
i miss u.
.
small things can make a big difference.
ppl are social beings.
ppl need to be appreciated.
ppl need ppl to care.
ppl complain about commercialization of human relationships.
with vday and mother's day and father's day and even xmas.
ppl say that kind of love is constant, there shouldn't be one special day for it.
i agree. in the sense that some grand gesture on that one day shouldn't be able to make up for the other 364.25 days of neglect. in the sense that love shouldn't be expressed in gifts.
but at least it's a reminder. for those that forget to remember.
i'm grateful for the lovely lovely ppl who were able to come together with such short notice despite their schedules to make the small gesture happen tonight.
i'm grateful for the existence of multiple social networking sites and multiple reminder systems that remind us of the days that matter.
i'll try to be more vigilant =P.
oh. and.
ps.
i miss u.
.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
grrr at boys.
midterm tmr. not even done half the readings. =(.
instead, spent over an hour cleaning house + room.
grrrr at boys. i dislike boys. living with boys is stupid.
pls remind me to never do this again.
this living situation is not healthy.
i'm constantly angry and i'm annoyed and disgusted.
this is making me never want to live w/ a guy.
lol. GAH. why are boys so nasty.
i wanna stay at home forever and ever and ever.
so clean and BIG. omg i had trouble turning around in my room upon my return. o.O.
seriously. i seriously think it's the size of my closet at home.
GAH. can't do home and then Kingston. contrast too drastic.
eff my midterm.
instead, spent over an hour cleaning house + room.
grrrr at boys. i dislike boys. living with boys is stupid.
pls remind me to never do this again.
this living situation is not healthy.
i'm constantly angry and i'm annoyed and disgusted.
this is making me never want to live w/ a guy.
lol. GAH. why are boys so nasty.
i wanna stay at home forever and ever and ever.
so clean and BIG. omg i had trouble turning around in my room upon my return. o.O.
seriously. i seriously think it's the size of my closet at home.
GAH. can't do home and then Kingston. contrast too drastic.
eff my midterm.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
the way love should be.
http://share.renren.com/1127374293/229968072
cecilia and nicholas talk to the press post edison scandal.
heart c+n. mad respect to nicholas.
add oil. hope they make forever happen =)
cecilia and nicholas talk to the press post edison scandal.
heart c+n. mad respect to nicholas.
add oil. hope they make forever happen =)
Saturday, October 17, 2009
没有记忆的人。
上个周末，一起坐在一张桌子上学习，让我想起了什么。
一起开车会多伦多的时候，她才提醒了我那种感觉为什么那么熟悉。
一起怀念过去，我才发现我对过去六年的记忆竟然是如此的模糊，
甚至连三五天前的事情都已经忘得一清二楚了。
可我还是那么清晰的记得我们之间七八年前的每一个细节。
今天开车回到最熟悉的地方， 发现长期搬家原来也是好事。
今天去把手机刷中文，他说txt msgs可能会丢。
站在那里，花了20多分钟一条一条的看，把一些重要的存了下来。
我才发现，原来常常丢手机，可能也是一种解脱。
或许是因为我没有记忆。
或许是因为世界变得很复杂。
我的大脑开始分不清真假，常常不知道记忆是梦还是事实。
发现这几年一直在狂抓。用文字，用相机，用票据，等等。
能留下来的东西尽量留。哪怕只是一条简短的 text 。
几个字而已，开玩笑或暧昧或问候。
对我来讲，却是唯一的证明，证明我没有疯没有傻。
证明曾经，哪怕仅仅是那一秒，他在乎过。
不相信日记，因为可能自欺欺人。
不相信照片，因为可能只是一个友好的pose.
但是短信，很难伪造，有时间和电话号码证明。
一个没有记忆的人，在一个混乱的世界里。
grasping at nothings in an attempt to preserve fleeting moments.
一起开车会多伦多的时候，她才提醒了我那种感觉为什么那么熟悉。
一起怀念过去，我才发现我对过去六年的记忆竟然是如此的模糊，
甚至连三五天前的事情都已经忘得一清二楚了。
可我还是那么清晰的记得我们之间七八年前的每一个细节。
今天开车回到最熟悉的地方， 发现长期搬家原来也是好事。
今天去把手机刷中文，他说txt msgs可能会丢。
站在那里，花了20多分钟一条一条的看，把一些重要的存了下来。
我才发现，原来常常丢手机，可能也是一种解脱。
或许是因为我没有记忆。
或许是因为世界变得很复杂。
我的大脑开始分不清真假，常常不知道记忆是梦还是事实。
发现这几年一直在狂抓。用文字，用相机，用票据，等等。
能留下来的东西尽量留。哪怕只是一条简短的 text 。
几个字而已，开玩笑或暧昧或问候。
对我来讲，却是唯一的证明，证明我没有疯没有傻。
证明曾经，哪怕仅仅是那一秒，他在乎过。
不相信日记，因为可能自欺欺人。
不相信照片，因为可能只是一个友好的pose.
但是短信，很难伪造，有时间和电话号码证明。
一个没有记忆的人，在一个混乱的世界里。
grasping at nothings in an attempt to preserve fleeting moments.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
attitude.
attitude makes all the difference in the world.
i need a better one. =).
I am awesome. I'm going to make them think so too =).
vball today was unsatisfying. -_-".
grrrrrrr. had to go for an additional run after in order to work it off.
maybe i should switch up a league. sad.
as much as i'm looking forward to ottawa.
won't get to play for another whole week. =(.
but it's all good. cuz it was a good run. =).
again. it's all about attitude.
i am awesome. and I will make them agree.
add oil add oil add oil.
i need a better one. =).
I am awesome. I'm going to make them think so too =).
vball today was unsatisfying. -_-".
grrrrrrr. had to go for an additional run after in order to work it off.
maybe i should switch up a league. sad.
as much as i'm looking forward to ottawa.
won't get to play for another whole week. =(.
but it's all good. cuz it was a good run. =).
again. it's all about attitude.
i am awesome. and I will make them agree.
add oil add oil add oil.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
essentials of life. =)
gahhhh. i'm too good at procrastination.
interview at 10 am yet i'm wasting time like no tmr.
vball was awesome today.
i've decided. after recruiting ends.
all i'm gonna do is vball & draw.
seriously. life should be spent doing things we actually enjoy.
vball = breathing. i just wish i were actually good. LOL.
also. friends are awesome.
what was going to be a very quiet moon festival turned out to be awesome.
i love how my friends refuse to let themselves be uninvited. =P.
realize more and more the importance of the ppl who keep pushing their way into my life when i go antisocial =)
my friends are awesome =).
thanksgiving is a wk away.
but i'll be grateful early. =)
grateful for the essentials of life:
mommie+daddie. friends. vball. paper+pencil+colours. water&air&food.
oh - and entertaining boys =P
heart. =)
interview at 10 am yet i'm wasting time like no tmr.
vball was awesome today.
i've decided. after recruiting ends.
all i'm gonna do is vball & draw.
seriously. life should be spent doing things we actually enjoy.
vball = breathing. i just wish i were actually good. LOL.
also. friends are awesome.
what was going to be a very quiet moon festival turned out to be awesome.
i love how my friends refuse to let themselves be uninvited. =P.
realize more and more the importance of the ppl who keep pushing their way into my life when i go antisocial =)
my friends are awesome =).
thanksgiving is a wk away.
but i'll be grateful early. =)
grateful for the essentials of life:
mommie+daddie. friends. vball. paper+pencil+colours. water&air&food.
oh - and entertaining boys =P
heart. =)
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
the life of an art history major.
there are times when i wonder how my life would be different if i were actually an Art History major.
Like, not a BComm and BA Art History. but JUST BA Art History.
....
what would i do with my life? o.O.
Just back from the bookstore. finally decided to stop fighting with the Dual Degree office, the Art History Chair and the Dean of Academics and just take all the courses I suddenly now have to take.
dropped well over $400 for the required readings of two courses, and half died carrying the books home. and they weren't even hardcover. -_-".
Seriously. how do real art history majors even afford textbooks? ???
I guess there are some perks to being a Commie afterall o.O.
P.S. for the guys :: for the best ratios on campus. take any 2nd year and/or above Art History courses. I swear I have never seen so many Caucasian females gathered in the same room. seriously. -_-".
Like, not a BComm and BA Art History. but JUST BA Art History.
....
what would i do with my life? o.O.
Just back from the bookstore. finally decided to stop fighting with the Dual Degree office, the Art History Chair and the Dean of Academics and just take all the courses I suddenly now have to take.
dropped well over $400 for the required readings of two courses, and half died carrying the books home. and they weren't even hardcover. -_-".
Seriously. how do real art history majors even afford textbooks? ???
I guess there are some perks to being a Commie afterall o.O.
P.S. for the guys :: for the best ratios on campus. take any 2nd year and/or above Art History courses. I swear I have never seen so many Caucasian females gathered in the same room. seriously. -_-".
Sunday, September 20, 2009
laugh w/ me.
LMAO. i'm going through all the pictures from exchange because i want to print pictures. some of the FUNNIEST things ever. though bad at the same time because it makes me miss so much random stuff and gahhhh!. LOL.
in chronological order ::
1. Pre-school beijing - moon cake at zhu's. zhu stuck on ceiling. LOL.
2. Olympics - beach vball - pure amazingness. china pride.
3. Olympics closing - getting everyone in - awesome night.
4. Elementary Reunion - drunk at 3pm craziness. mad love.
5. 798 - room of mirrors.
6. Cari SingCon - stalker attempt fail - "I saw ur green light"
7. GuiLin - too much - bamboo float incident - Cari's revenge on Peng
8. GuiLin - YMX's uh... special condition
9. GuiLin - Cari's flip flop incident - Peng's awesomness.
10. GuiLin - hotel room camwhore sessions. LOL.
11. GuiLin - Farmer Peng in GENERAL. LMAO. & Train jokes.
12. XiangShan - dates! lol. =P.
13. SiMaTai - everything. sketchy lunch to sketchy cab drivers to amazingness of the wall to andy's affair with the sketchy ladies to crazy jumping pics. all of it =).
14. DaTong - 6 top bunks. randoms.
15. ZJJ - Andy bumping into the cave wall (lmao totally forgot about that. but man so jokes)
16. ZJJ - Roy's leg problems - Andrius + Andy teamwork
17. ZJJ - Andy joining morning exercise routine of workers
18. ZJJ - monkeys! // andy's family members
19. Pheonix - Spirited away. lol
20. Whale Week - 3 hr cooking dinner process. Chef flipping skills & fail. 偷吃. LOL. Cari's tumour. Death of Skippy.
21. WW - Olympic Park - elbow head. ignored too many times. LOL.
22. WW - skating "oh shiet". super saiyan
23. Bailey Bday - Tina mad fail. LOL.
24. Xmas Eve Dinner - Chef Peng craziness. Gah - i know there was more... can't rmb =(
25. NPAC w/ Cari - "omg CAR. omg MALL. omg CIVILIZATION!". overy helpful security guard. LOL.
26. Skating x2 - TAG. Muneeb's helpers. fun times =).
27. @ Helen's - general randomness of it all. can't rmb specifics. =P.
ahhh. there must be so much more... but this is just from looking thru pictures. good times. =).
thank u for the memories. =).
in chronological order ::
1. Pre-school beijing - moon cake at zhu's. zhu stuck on ceiling. LOL.
2. Olympics - beach vball - pure amazingness. china pride.
3. Olympics closing - getting everyone in - awesome night.
4. Elementary Reunion - drunk at 3pm craziness. mad love.
5. 798 - room of mirrors.
6. Cari SingCon - stalker attempt fail - "I saw ur green light"
7. GuiLin - too much - bamboo float incident - Cari's revenge on Peng
8. GuiLin - YMX's uh... special condition
9. GuiLin - Cari's flip flop incident - Peng's awesomness.
10. GuiLin - hotel room camwhore sessions. LOL.
11. GuiLin - Farmer Peng in GENERAL. LMAO. & Train jokes.
12. XiangShan - dates! lol. =P.
13. SiMaTai - everything. sketchy lunch to sketchy cab drivers to amazingness of the wall to andy's affair with the sketchy ladies to crazy jumping pics. all of it =).
14. DaTong - 6 top bunks. randoms.
15. ZJJ - Andy bumping into the cave wall (lmao totally forgot about that. but man so jokes)
16. ZJJ - Roy's leg problems - Andrius + Andy teamwork
17. ZJJ - Andy joining morning exercise routine of workers
18. ZJJ - monkeys! // andy's family members
19. Pheonix - Spirited away. lol
20. Whale Week - 3 hr cooking dinner process. Chef flipping skills & fail. 偷吃. LOL. Cari's tumour. Death of Skippy.
21. WW - Olympic Park - elbow head. ignored too many times. LOL.
22. WW - skating "oh shiet". super saiyan
23. Bailey Bday - Tina mad fail. LOL.
24. Xmas Eve Dinner - Chef Peng craziness. Gah - i know there was more... can't rmb =(
25. NPAC w/ Cari - "omg CAR. omg MALL. omg CIVILIZATION!". overy helpful security guard. LOL.
26. Skating x2 - TAG. Muneeb's helpers. fun times =).
27. @ Helen's - general randomness of it all. can't rmb specifics. =P.
ahhh. there must be so much more... but this is just from looking thru pictures. good times. =).
thank u for the memories. =).
Saturday, September 19, 2009
fall in love.
today is one of those rare, but oh-so-perfect days in kingston.
sky is a beautifully clear shade of blue, and not a single cloud in the sky.
autumn has descended upon this beautiful small town and the trees are quietly changing costumes into a multitude of shades and brilliant colours.
the air is cool and fresh without the slightest hint of impurity.
and a cute video to go with a gorgeous day =)
one of those days. where anything could be possible. =]
sky is a beautifully clear shade of blue, and not a single cloud in the sky.
autumn has descended upon this beautiful small town and the trees are quietly changing costumes into a multitude of shades and brilliant colours.
the air is cool and fresh without the slightest hint of impurity.
and a cute video to go with a gorgeous day =)
one of those days. where anything could be possible. =]
Friday, September 18, 2009
一个人的日子。
有的时候，我发现或许我真的是一个很孤僻的人。
我喜欢自己一个人，不被任何其他的东西打扰。
或许我们都有点OCD吧。我不喜欢被别人打扰，不喜欢东西被别人动，多有些东西会很执著，非要摆成一个样子，不喜欢被别人改变。
其实我真得很喜欢我现在的小屋子。虽然真得跟我家里的衣柜差不多大，但觉得很温馨，很简单。
回到kingston, 好想好想静下来。好想好想一个人。好想好想休息一下。
从新习惯和他住在一起，从新习惯学校里的压力，大家的排比，无聊。
今天去系里上课，出来以后发现楼里没有一个认识的人。
有点失落，有点孤单。因为真得已经不再熟悉。
或许是走得太久了吧，太多人我都不认识了，找不到从前的感觉了。找不到自己在这所大学里的位置了。但同时又还是有那么多人... 走在校园里常常有人打招呼，但是我记性真得很差，所以都不太记得了，很尴尬的对话，尽量避开名字。
但同时，我好像最近真得很安静。不想被人打扰。话说时开始喜欢30多岁的成熟男人，其实是什么都不想要了。玩儿累了。
想想，发现我在北京的快乐有很多是因为我可是随便是谁。我可以疯我可以乱我可以乖我可以读书我也可以疯玩儿。没有人认识我，没有人的看法对我有任何影响。他们爱怎么看我怎么看我。我懒得管。那其实也是一种自由。可以把自己一个人在人群里弄丢的自由。
怀念在北京的晚上，晕晕的去跳舞，只是跳舞而已。不在乎别人想什么，不在乎和谁在一起，反正知道第二天大家都还是会回到陌生人的位置而已。
怀念在北京上班，和同事们乱聊，让他们都以为我真的就是一个北京长大的学生，很天真，很爱玩而已。没有人会想到我的真正背景。
kingston 很好啊。。。 标准的大学城。从星期二晚上开始 party, 周三晚上十点club就已经排队排得进不了人了。earl street 原来挺忙的。 几乎每晚都有很大声的音乐开到很晚。安大略湖也很漂亮，星星也很亮。都挺好的。真得挺好的。
我喜欢自己一个人，不被任何其他的东西打扰。
或许我们都有点OCD吧。我不喜欢被别人打扰，不喜欢东西被别人动，多有些东西会很执著，非要摆成一个样子，不喜欢被别人改变。
其实我真得很喜欢我现在的小屋子。虽然真得跟我家里的衣柜差不多大，但觉得很温馨，很简单。
回到kingston, 好想好想静下来。好想好想一个人。好想好想休息一下。
从新习惯和他住在一起，从新习惯学校里的压力，大家的排比，无聊。
今天去系里上课，出来以后发现楼里没有一个认识的人。
有点失落，有点孤单。因为真得已经不再熟悉。
或许是走得太久了吧，太多人我都不认识了，找不到从前的感觉了。找不到自己在这所大学里的位置了。但同时又还是有那么多人... 走在校园里常常有人打招呼，但是我记性真得很差，所以都不太记得了，很尴尬的对话，尽量避开名字。
但同时，我好像最近真得很安静。不想被人打扰。话说时开始喜欢30多岁的成熟男人，其实是什么都不想要了。玩儿累了。
想想，发现我在北京的快乐有很多是因为我可是随便是谁。我可以疯我可以乱我可以乖我可以读书我也可以疯玩儿。没有人认识我，没有人的看法对我有任何影响。他们爱怎么看我怎么看我。我懒得管。那其实也是一种自由。可以把自己一个人在人群里弄丢的自由。
怀念在北京的晚上，晕晕的去跳舞，只是跳舞而已。不在乎别人想什么，不在乎和谁在一起，反正知道第二天大家都还是会回到陌生人的位置而已。
怀念在北京上班，和同事们乱聊，让他们都以为我真的就是一个北京长大的学生，很天真，很爱玩而已。没有人会想到我的真正背景。
kingston 很好啊。。。 标准的大学城。从星期二晚上开始 party, 周三晚上十点club就已经排队排得进不了人了。earl street 原来挺忙的。 几乎每晚都有很大声的音乐开到很晚。安大略湖也很漂亮，星星也很亮。都挺好的。真得挺好的。
Sunday, September 13, 2009
ended. summer.
so summer officially ends as final year of university begins tomorrow.
housemate pulled together a mini-bbq at our house. super ghetto but super amazing.
grateful for friends.
this was actually a lot of fun. 5 hour dinner, but seriously. did not know meat could taste this good outside of china. lol.
suddenly so old. can't believe we're 4th yr already.
i have awesome friends. they make everything worthwhile =).
it's going to be an amazing year.
it's gotta be =).
我以为我已经修炼到可以刀枪不入。
结果原来还是一句话就可以把我打垮。
housemate pulled together a mini-bbq at our house. super ghetto but super amazing.
grateful for friends.
this was actually a lot of fun. 5 hour dinner, but seriously. did not know meat could taste this good outside of china. lol.
suddenly so old. can't believe we're 4th yr already.
i have awesome friends. they make everything worthwhile =).
it's going to be an amazing year.
it's gotta be =).
我以为我已经修炼到可以刀枪不入。
结果原来还是一句话就可以把我打垮。
Friday, September 11, 2009
new beginings?
It seems as though everyone who used to blog no longer blog.
not on blogspot at least. *shrugs.
would like to start blogging publicly again with the start of the new school term.
feels like there is much to catch up on and much that i had wanted to hold on to but had forgotten because i no longer blog regularly. lol. getting old. no memory of anything these days.
want to catch up on a few events that have happened in my 6 days of summer vacation. lol. sad i know. but it felt longer than 6 so it's all good =).
1. bluffs.
another sunrise, another year, another new beginning.
grateful for all who came out to uphold the tradition that is so dear to me.
however. this yr felt different somehow.
funny how it's the first time i was "legally" allowed to go (no need to sneak out and sneak back into the house anymore.. lol at the joys of growing up.)
was something missing? ... perhaps.
afterall. the "complete" aspect of bluffs isn't so complete w/o u.
but again. it is another yr. yet another. things r different. ppl grow up.
last bluffs? ... possibly. but will be forever grateful for all that it has stood for over the yrs.
bests. mw. vc. gs. jl. ks. ♥
2. 2+1 begins.
2 boys + 1 girl.
2 commies + 1 lifesci.
*fingers crossed for an a w e s o m e year. =)
it's wonderful to be back with the best friend. think my mind had been rotting away w/o him =P.
mike has also been absolutely wonderful. love how someone else gets to be sooo responsible while i just chill hard =D.
finally settled in and my room is on its way to become my cozy sanctuary. it's going to be awesome.
3. kingston.
it's been 16 months away from this place.
i've been going to random things just to see people.
woke up to "how do u feel frosh???" and choruses of "oh i feel SO good OH i feel so good, OH!"....
mannnnn our street was dominated by purple eng frosh this morning. oh the joys of being so close to campus. lol.
went to the lake today. just chilled and watched the waters. so sunny today. heart this place so much when it's not gray and gloomy and buried under slush.
i like it here. after 16 months, there's actually less strings here than anywhere else. there r so many things that i hadn't even realized that i had missed. so many ppl to see and catch up w/ =).
maybe it'll be a new begining afterall.
let bygones be bygones. holding on only to the good and the highlights worth rmbing, and forgetting the rest. (lol. lacking brain capacity these days) don't want reminders.
**!!! oh! secret to share =P. i got STAR back =D. hehehehehe. 613.583.STAR =P.
technically i could do LUF STAR. but mannnn i think even i'm getting too old for that -__-". lol.
it's going to be an awesome year.
if i say it often enough it will become true =D.
faith!
not on blogspot at least. *shrugs.
would like to start blogging publicly again with the start of the new school term.
feels like there is much to catch up on and much that i had wanted to hold on to but had forgotten because i no longer blog regularly. lol. getting old. no memory of anything these days.
want to catch up on a few events that have happened in my 6 days of summer vacation. lol. sad i know. but it felt longer than 6 so it's all good =).
1. bluffs.
another sunrise, another year, another new beginning.
grateful for all who came out to uphold the tradition that is so dear to me.
however. this yr felt different somehow.
funny how it's the first time i was "legally" allowed to go (no need to sneak out and sneak back into the house anymore.. lol at the joys of growing up.)
was something missing? ... perhaps.
afterall. the "complete" aspect of bluffs isn't so complete w/o u.
but again. it is another yr. yet another. things r different. ppl grow up.
last bluffs? ... possibly. but will be forever grateful for all that it has stood for over the yrs.
bests. mw. vc. gs. jl. ks. ♥
2. 2+1 begins.
2 boys + 1 girl.
2 commies + 1 lifesci.
*fingers crossed for an a w e s o m e year. =)
it's wonderful to be back with the best friend. think my mind had been rotting away w/o him =P.
mike has also been absolutely wonderful. love how someone else gets to be sooo responsible while i just chill hard =D.
finally settled in and my room is on its way to become my cozy sanctuary. it's going to be awesome.
3. kingston.
it's been 16 months away from this place.
i've been going to random things just to see people.
woke up to "how do u feel frosh???" and choruses of "oh i feel SO good OH i feel so good, OH!"....
mannnnn our street was dominated by purple eng frosh this morning. oh the joys of being so close to campus. lol.
went to the lake today. just chilled and watched the waters. so sunny today. heart this place so much when it's not gray and gloomy and buried under slush.
i like it here. after 16 months, there's actually less strings here than anywhere else. there r so many things that i hadn't even realized that i had missed. so many ppl to see and catch up w/ =).
maybe it'll be a new begining afterall.
let bygones be bygones. holding on only to the good and the highlights worth rmbing, and forgetting the rest. (lol. lacking brain capacity these days) don't want reminders.
**!!! oh! secret to share =P. i got STAR back =D. hehehehehe. 613.583.STAR =P.
technically i could do LUF STAR. but mannnn i think even i'm getting too old for that -__-". lol.
it's going to be an awesome year.
if i say it often enough it will become true =D.
faith!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
substance.
about 2 months ago.
i had an insane amount of clarity in my life.
i knew exactly what i wanted, where i wanted to be, and how i was going to get there.
i was so sure. i looked at my peers, some desperately grasping at fantastical nothings, some motivated by all the wrong things and pushed along by the waves of the Commerce mentality, others still so naive and unprepared for the real world.
in comparison, i was sure. i had a plan. i wasn't going to be swayed by the Commerce wave, I wasn't going to keep dreaming of the impossible, what i wanted was easily achievable, and I could have it all.
... some how. that seems so far away now.
one surprise email. one interview. one visit back to Kingston. one conversation with Commies.
suddenly the ground was pulled out right beneath my feet. and right away. i am caught back up in that tidal wave. suddenly following a different dream. suddenly my plan was gone.
left with me are the feelings of ... lack of substance. lack of ambition. inadequacy.
i can't remember that clarify anymore.
instead. empty w/o substance.
i still have my options. i still have "plans"...
except they now seem dull and lackluster.
4th year was going to be soooooo chill & sooooooo much fun.
all i wanted was endless partying and chilling & happiness =D.
somehow. that seems so far away now.
lol.
i had an insane amount of clarity in my life.
i knew exactly what i wanted, where i wanted to be, and how i was going to get there.
i was so sure. i looked at my peers, some desperately grasping at fantastical nothings, some motivated by all the wrong things and pushed along by the waves of the Commerce mentality, others still so naive and unprepared for the real world.
in comparison, i was sure. i had a plan. i wasn't going to be swayed by the Commerce wave, I wasn't going to keep dreaming of the impossible, what i wanted was easily achievable, and I could have it all.
... some how. that seems so far away now.
one surprise email. one interview. one visit back to Kingston. one conversation with Commies.
suddenly the ground was pulled out right beneath my feet. and right away. i am caught back up in that tidal wave. suddenly following a different dream. suddenly my plan was gone.
left with me are the feelings of ... lack of substance. lack of ambition. inadequacy.
i can't remember that clarify anymore.
instead. empty w/o substance.
i still have my options. i still have "plans"...
except they now seem dull and lackluster.
4th year was going to be soooooo chill & sooooooo much fun.
all i wanted was endless partying and chilling & happiness =D.
somehow. that seems so far away now.
lol.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Proof.
Been watching a lot of TV these past couple of "free" days.
Something funny came up. The key conflict in the plot came as a result of the girl asking for the guy for a present as "proof" that he once loved her that much, because she knew that they would not be "forever", but just wanted something to "prove" that they once were.
I just thought it was funny how people hold on to these things.
"Proof" is only needed if there is no trust. if the original thing it was "proving" were subject to be reviewed and judged.
Funny how it's usually women that need the proof.
Are we so insecure that we always need something more tangible to hold on to?
Are we so forgetful that we need something more than love itself to remind us?
Are we so desperate that we need to go thru the rest of our mundane lives grasping onto something that "proves" that once upon a time, we too, were desirable, and worthy of such an "earth-shattering" kind of love?
Funny how easily people forget.
Funny how fast things change.
I think that's why people actually need proof.
because too often, it is gone before we even realize what we had had in the first place.
we are left wondering, whether something so amazing was just a fragment of our imaginations, or did our dreams actually come true? ... but if so... how were we so stupid to let it slip between our fingers and disappear into nothingness?
... and that's why we search for "proof". to prove that we are sane, to prove that yes, once upon a time, it did happen.
... i don't anymore. LOL. i think my memory has deteriorated past the point of no return. even if i had had proof, i would've forgotten it already. lol. and actually. if i needed proof, then that means u're no longer here. why would i need proof of something that no longer is? and if u were here, and will be here to stay... then ... proof is redundant. no?
让过去的都过去吧。
每天都是新的一天。
我们从新开始，好么？
。
Something funny came up. The key conflict in the plot came as a result of the girl asking for the guy for a present as "proof" that he once loved her that much, because she knew that they would not be "forever", but just wanted something to "prove" that they once were.
I just thought it was funny how people hold on to these things.
"Proof" is only needed if there is no trust. if the original thing it was "proving" were subject to be reviewed and judged.
Funny how it's usually women that need the proof.
Are we so insecure that we always need something more tangible to hold on to?
Are we so forgetful that we need something more than love itself to remind us?
Are we so desperate that we need to go thru the rest of our mundane lives grasping onto something that "proves" that once upon a time, we too, were desirable, and worthy of such an "earth-shattering" kind of love?
Funny how easily people forget.
Funny how fast things change.
I think that's why people actually need proof.
because too often, it is gone before we even realize what we had had in the first place.
we are left wondering, whether something so amazing was just a fragment of our imaginations, or did our dreams actually come true? ... but if so... how were we so stupid to let it slip between our fingers and disappear into nothingness?
... and that's why we search for "proof". to prove that we are sane, to prove that yes, once upon a time, it did happen.
... i don't anymore. LOL. i think my memory has deteriorated past the point of no return. even if i had had proof, i would've forgotten it already. lol. and actually. if i needed proof, then that means u're no longer here. why would i need proof of something that no longer is? and if u were here, and will be here to stay... then ... proof is redundant. no?
让过去的都过去吧。
每天都是新的一天。
我们从新开始，好么？
。
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Musical Associations.
It's funny. I associate so many different things with so many different people. different times. different experiences. wanted to write some of them down before i forget // keep an ongoing list.
let's see where this takes me.
Howie Day - Collide:
Wonder if you remember. Summer of o6. Leonard Caf 的默契。
Vitamin C - Graduation:
Class of 2000. 现在还可以感觉到那个夏天的太阳暖暖的照着，小学毕业，蓝色的小裙子，so unbroken. LOL.
蔡旻佑 - 我可以:
Fall/Winter of 07. 简单的一句“我可以，陪你去看星星“, 让我相信他是真心对我的，说服我给了他一个机会。有过美好回忆，后果我愿意承担。
BSB - As long as you love me:
天真的12岁。真地相信，有爱就够了。长大了才发现并不是那么简单。
杨丞琳 - 左边:
08年的北京。第一次的勇敢/厚脸皮，执著。
Lifehouse - You & Me:
Summer of o4. VYSA love. Vancity & the 9 hour car ride to Williams Lake.
Chayanne - Yo Te Amo:
Winter of 09. Exploring Barcelona =).
etc etc. there's more. i should stop.
let's see where this takes me.
Howie Day - Collide:
Wonder if you remember. Summer of o6. Leonard Caf 的默契。
Vitamin C - Graduation:
Class of 2000. 现在还可以感觉到那个夏天的太阳暖暖的照着，小学毕业，蓝色的小裙子，so unbroken. LOL.
蔡旻佑 - 我可以:
Fall/Winter of 07. 简单的一句“我可以，陪你去看星星“, 让我相信他是真心对我的，说服我给了他一个机会。有过美好回忆，后果我愿意承担。
BSB - As long as you love me:
天真的12岁。真地相信，有爱就够了。长大了才发现并不是那么简单。
杨丞琳 - 左边:
08年的北京。第一次的勇敢/厚脸皮，执著。
Lifehouse - You & Me:
Summer of o4. VYSA love. Vancity & the 9 hour car ride to Williams Lake.
Chayanne - Yo Te Amo:
Winter of 09. Exploring Barcelona =).
etc etc. there's more. i should stop.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Career.
me: I think I'm going to settle down and become a housewife.
friend: u could never be a housewife.
me: WHAT WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
......... boo.
man. i would make such a wonderful housewife.
I would learn to cook and i'll make the house clean and cozy.
I'll sketch & paint and watch TV.
gosh. i could even hire a maid so i don't have to clean.
I would take care of the kids and watch them grow up.
I'd goto all the parent-teacher interviews and all the school plays and graduations.
I'd walk them to school everyday and pick them up afterschool.
I'd MJ & shop & socialize w/ the other housewives.
... man. i'd make such a good housewife.
friend: u could never be a housewife.
me: WHAT WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
......... boo.
man. i would make such a wonderful housewife.
I would learn to cook and i'll make the house clean and cozy.
I'll sketch & paint and watch TV.
gosh. i could even hire a maid so i don't have to clean.
I would take care of the kids and watch them grow up.
I'd goto all the parent-teacher interviews and all the school plays and graduations.
I'd walk them to school everyday and pick them up afterschool.
I'd MJ & shop & socialize w/ the other housewives.
... man. i'd make such a good housewife.
The Power of Facebook.
I've been thinking....
Facebook knows EVERYTHING.
....
well, not everything. but a LOT.
it probably knows much more than u and I would ever dream of knowing about people's relationships. or at least, the more hidden ones.
It would probably be able to detect a crush before the secret admirer even realized that they have developed a crush.
It would probably be able to evaluate the "real" popularity of someone.
... and a lot of other things.
I wonder what would happen if one day Facebook released the actual visits and clicks by each person on each "friend".
I wonder how many relationships would be changed because of it.
I wonder how many friendships would be damaged by it.
I wonder how many new relationships would be spurred by it.
I wonder at the surprises and the secrets that data contains.
... remember the old high school days of "matchmaker" results on valentine's day?
this could be so much more comprehensive than that.
oh dear Facebook.
surprise me.
you: if you could ask Facebook one thing. what would it be?
(i.e. something related to ur profile/pictures, etc)
Facebook knows EVERYTHING.
....
well, not everything. but a LOT.
it probably knows much more than u and I would ever dream of knowing about people's relationships. or at least, the more hidden ones.
It would probably be able to detect a crush before the secret admirer even realized that they have developed a crush.
It would probably be able to evaluate the "real" popularity of someone.
... and a lot of other things.
I wonder what would happen if one day Facebook released the actual visits and clicks by each person on each "friend".
I wonder how many relationships would be changed because of it.
I wonder how many friendships would be damaged by it.
I wonder how many new relationships would be spurred by it.
I wonder at the surprises and the secrets that data contains.
... remember the old high school days of "matchmaker" results on valentine's day?
this could be so much more comprehensive than that.
oh dear Facebook.
surprise me.
you: if you could ask Facebook one thing. what would it be?
(i.e. something related to ur profile/pictures, etc)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
【转】写给偷偷老去的80后
八八年初生的，算是个80后里的尾巴吧.
校内上看到我姐分享这篇文章，发现好多说得还挺准的。
从小就知道自己一直比现实年龄大两到三岁... 工作的日子，自己一个人扛的日子，觉得自己已经老陈得不行了。但至少还有一年大四在等着我，让我觉得好像还是一个孩子，还可以疯，永远12岁，每人能把我怎么样，年轻就是资本。
anyway. i think i forgot my original point -_-".
here's the attached article.
喜欢隐身了，不怎么爱在群里发言了
不论和多少人在一块，手机总挂着QQ，一堆人聚在一块，一人一台手机，各玩各的
同学聚会必修的两个项目：吃饭，KTV
小孩都开始叫自己叔叔或者阿姨了
虽然经常不大情愿地反驳着：叫姐姐，叫哥哥
永远寂寞，不管你是一人独处时，还是身在人群当中
就像那首歌中唱的一样，孤单，是一个人的狂欢，狂欢，是一群人的孤单
没那么愤青了，遇到不公的时候，会告诉自己，社会就是这样
可以不看电视，但电脑是必需品
出门蹦达必带三件宝：手机，钥匙，钱
永远不知道钱花哪了，没怎么吃，没怎么穿
消极，拒绝长大。不喜欢被人说成熟.
熟人面前是话唠，生人面前一言不发
爱好中必定有一项是睡觉
成天泡在网上，又不知道做什么好。
最常说的一句话是“无聊”,尽管他们在网络上花去了大把时间
减肥是永恒不变的话题和行动
饿了就吃，经常早饭午饭并在一起吃
打字的手法相当不准确，但还是打的很快
凌晨12点前和很少会入睡
什么都可以“随便”，因为没那么多时间，也不在意那么多的事情
毫无理由没有资本的高傲，骨子里却自卑，期待肯定，期待认可，被讨厌做人失败的时候连说话的勇气都没有。
觉得别人不可能了解自己，并以此作为对别人不屑的理由。
因为别人都恋爱了所以自己就恋爱了，更多的是练爱而不是恋爱，然后连自己都开始怀疑曾经对爱情的坚持。
曾经以为一辈子陪在身边的朋友，某天某月，就突然发现他们都不见了
午夜醒来，才愕然发现，从来都是只有自己一个人
人越成长，越容易孤单
80后的我们，有很多的梦想，有的实现了有的破灭了。
80后的我们，有的出名，有的默默无闻。
80后的我们，挣扎过彷徨过，还是挺过来了。
80后的我们，退去青春年幼的智嫩，开始适应社会大家庭。
我们的心里都很清楚，我们经历了太多太多。
亲情的分与合 爱情的分与合 友情的分与合
曾不顾一切的追求过的，后来变的一文不值得。
父母曾百般阻挠的事，直到自己受伤，才明白，父母原来是对的。
曾无数次的问过自己，为什么活着？到后来，已经懒得的去想活着的意义。
曾为了爱情可以不好好的读书，到后来为了工作可以丢下爱情。
现在是否还记得最初的梦想？或者说，还有多少人，一直坚持着自己年少时的梦想。
在家里，父母对我们百依百顺，出了家门，我们对社会百依百顺。
看不惯的事情也就渐渐习惯了，不知道这种习惯是好是坏？
我甚至不知道我现在的梦想应该是什么？
但有一点的是肯定的，不会再做一些年少轻狂的梦了。
纠结。
本来昨晚回家就想写的，但是实在太晚了，还要上班，所以拖到现在。
本来想些什么也不太记得了。
只是觉得，或许是你们回来也带了一点北京的气息回来。
好像很久没有笑得那么开心了。
或许是因为害怕想念，所以回来后也没有去想国内的记忆。
怎么说呢。。。。
可能在你面前还是会有些自卑吧？
在你面前还是会让我希望自己是个好女孩。
好害怕被你看出我的乱，我的浮躁，我的复杂。
也许有你这种朋友是我的福分。
you make me want to be better.
anyway. 回到多伦多了= 回到现实生活了。
都好好面对一下吧。
在北京可以胡思乱想可以疯可以狂。
可以“收集彩虹里的感受”。
世界的这一边...
要开学了。生活要从新开始了。
还是让属于北京的留在北京吧。
。
本来想些什么也不太记得了。
只是觉得，或许是你们回来也带了一点北京的气息回来。
好像很久没有笑得那么开心了。
或许是因为害怕想念，所以回来后也没有去想国内的记忆。
怎么说呢。。。。
可能在你面前还是会有些自卑吧？
在你面前还是会让我希望自己是个好女孩。
好害怕被你看出我的乱，我的浮躁，我的复杂。
也许有你这种朋友是我的福分。
you make me want to be better.
anyway. 回到多伦多了= 回到现实生活了。
都好好面对一下吧。
在北京可以胡思乱想可以疯可以狂。
可以“收集彩虹里的感受”。
世界的这一边...
要开学了。生活要从新开始了。
还是让属于北京的留在北京吧。
。
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Friday, August 12, 2005
7:33am: "I suppose it's better left unsaid, but, those few minutes felt surreal."
6:30am: "for that one elusive moment of ephemeral completeness"
I struggle every time I write the numbers 200....9? A part of me can't seem to figure out the division between the 8 and the 9 and can't believe that 2010 is to come so soon.
It's a friday night. 3:26am.... it's one of those nights.
it's been so long since i've been on the internet to just... randomly browse i can't even seem to figure out what i'm supposed to be looking at anymore, lol.
5 more work days after this. so friking excited. =D.
There were so many things i wanted to do after exams ended 2 weeks ago.
yet now that it's come, all i wanna do is chill and be w/ in my own space. weird.
i can't believe it's been four years. i can't tell if that's long or short.
it's crazy how some things have changed. it's crazy how some haven't.
it's crazy how much i have forgotten of my past five years. it's crazy how much i still rmb.
sometimes. life is defined in the small moments.
.
6:30am: "for that one elusive moment of ephemeral completeness"
I struggle every time I write the numbers 200....9? A part of me can't seem to figure out the division between the 8 and the 9 and can't believe that 2010 is to come so soon.
It's a friday night. 3:26am.... it's one of those nights.
it's been so long since i've been on the internet to just... randomly browse i can't even seem to figure out what i'm supposed to be looking at anymore, lol.
5 more work days after this. so friking excited. =D.
There were so many things i wanted to do after exams ended 2 weeks ago.
yet now that it's come, all i wanna do is chill and be w/ in my own space. weird.
i can't believe it's been four years. i can't tell if that's long or short.
it's crazy how some things have changed. it's crazy how some haven't.
it's crazy how much i have forgotten of my past five years. it's crazy how much i still rmb.
sometimes. life is defined in the small moments.
.
Monday, August 3, 2009
堕落。
有一阵子没有写东西了。
最近的心情说实话一直很乱。
人变得很懒散，对什么都不太在乎了。
只是今天无意中看到他和她的近照。
我想祝他们快乐。因为他看起来真得很开心。
看着他们我觉得他们很纯洁，很干净，很纯粹的快乐。
... 我想，我不想躲，不想藏，不想装。
前一阵子开始觉得日子过腻了。讨厌自己的样子。讨厌被别人误会。
全世界都认为我是坏女孩我就坏给他们看呗，反正我已经是这个样子了。
不想再为自己解释什么了。
很多人说如果女孩连自己都不爱自己就更没有谁会爱她了。
同样我也知道，我这样糟践自己也没有谁会发现或者在意。
伤口在自己的身上疼也只有自己知道。
自暴自弃的后果也只有自己一个人去承受。
一个人的眼泪还是只有一个人自己擦去，补好妆，继续冲全世界假笑。
我也不知道这是怎么了。
很努力很努力的把自己的生活添得满满的，
要工作有工作，要学习有学习，要家有家，要朋友有朋友，要玩可玩，要他也有个他。
满到没有时间休息，没有时间睡觉，没有时间孤独，没有时间想谁。
可是空虚还是占满了我的全部。
note -
btw. 我没事。她不是我。
我很好。我很快乐。我不是她。没她那么矫情。
最近的心情说实话一直很乱。
人变得很懒散，对什么都不太在乎了。
只是今天无意中看到他和她的近照。
我想祝他们快乐。因为他看起来真得很开心。
看着他们我觉得他们很纯洁，很干净，很纯粹的快乐。
... 我想，我不想躲，不想藏，不想装。
前一阵子开始觉得日子过腻了。讨厌自己的样子。讨厌被别人误会。
全世界都认为我是坏女孩我就坏给他们看呗，反正我已经是这个样子了。
不想再为自己解释什么了。
很多人说如果女孩连自己都不爱自己就更没有谁会爱她了。
同样我也知道，我这样糟践自己也没有谁会发现或者在意。
伤口在自己的身上疼也只有自己知道。
自暴自弃的后果也只有自己一个人去承受。
一个人的眼泪还是只有一个人自己擦去，补好妆，继续冲全世界假笑。
我也不知道这是怎么了。
很努力很努力的把自己的生活添得满满的，
要工作有工作，要学习有学习，要家有家，要朋友有朋友，要玩可玩，要他也有个他。
满到没有时间休息，没有时间睡觉，没有时间孤独，没有时间想谁。
可是空虚还是占满了我的全部。
note -
btw. 我没事。她不是我。
我很好。我很快乐。我不是她。没她那么矫情。
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
cleanse.
maybe it's like going through a cleansing of sorts.
get rid of all the negativity. the anger. the stress.
live the happy things. and only happy things.
对我不好的，让我不开心的，一律不去想不接近。
说实话我的时间真得挺宝贵的。没有一分钟可以浪费在不开心上。
所以我会挂电话。所以我会block人。所以我不在乎。
目标很明确。开开心心的度过这个月。
未来一片光明。没有什么可以打倒我的。
发生了就发生了。
一大堆的事情要做呢。没有时间浪费在不开心的事情上。
晓悦。加油。
get rid of all the negativity. the anger. the stress.
live the happy things. and only happy things.
对我不好的，让我不开心的，一律不去想不接近。
说实话我的时间真得挺宝贵的。没有一分钟可以浪费在不开心上。
所以我会挂电话。所以我会block人。所以我不在乎。
目标很明确。开开心心的度过这个月。
未来一片光明。没有什么可以打倒我的。
发生了就发生了。
一大堆的事情要做呢。没有时间浪费在不开心的事情上。
晓悦。加油。
Saturday, July 4, 2009
杂。
我想... 凡是笑过的，开心过的，就永远不要后悔。
一辈子或许也不长。人与人在茫茫人海相遇本来就不容易。
一起笑过，开心过，更不容易了。
所以... 开心过就不要后悔。
... 有时候我也会问自己，说自己到底在干什么。疯什么呢？
到最后... 脑海里唯一会浮出的一句话就是... 再强的女生
... 其实，也就是一个女生而已。
无论表面上再嘴硬再大大咧咧再不在乎... 还是有那么半课心的。
今天翻照片。又碰上了Andrius。不知道。还是会很想他。
从来没想到这件事对我的影响会那么大。但就是了。
今天上午看了一上午我的青春。下午晚上又一直在讲中文。
... 发现我讲中文的时候好像都会更开心。
爱上了方宇。爱上了朱雨辰。
就是喜欢北京味儿的男生。 就是喜欢。虽然他是上海人，但我实在看不出来他的上海。
多伦多貌似就没有北京男生。=(
一辈子或许也不长。人与人在茫茫人海相遇本来就不容易。
一起笑过，开心过，更不容易了。
所以... 开心过就不要后悔。
... 有时候我也会问自己，说自己到底在干什么。疯什么呢？
到最后... 脑海里唯一会浮出的一句话就是... 再强的女生
... 其实，也就是一个女生而已。
无论表面上再嘴硬再大大咧咧再不在乎... 还是有那么半课心的。
今天翻照片。又碰上了Andrius。不知道。还是会很想他。
从来没想到这件事对我的影响会那么大。但就是了。
今天上午看了一上午我的青春。下午晚上又一直在讲中文。
... 发现我讲中文的时候好像都会更开心。
爱上了方宇。爱上了朱雨辰。
就是喜欢北京味儿的男生。 就是喜欢。虽然他是上海人，但我实在看不出来他的上海。
多伦多貌似就没有北京男生。=(
Thursday, July 2, 2009
VY Love.
I can't believe this is what's bringing me back to blogging.
I no longer have social contact - except for the ppl that I work with and the loved ones that come downtown to study w/ me (much props and love to that - even if some of them brings 'fun' reading to flaunt in front of me and pretends to read. GOSH. lol. ) but yeah. I guess I do need some way of communicating to the vast world not listening out there.
VY Love.
Last weekend was VY opening weekend. I was clicking thru Bee's VY Opening album... and it's just ... insane. the amount of ... love... that just... overwhelms. Maybe it's been further amplified since the discussion w/ Vee Tuesday night. But I know. that being a part of this. is what makes me feel alive. VY has done so much for me. been so much for me. and there's no way I could be where I am or who I am had VY not happened. For this, I will forever be grateful to Vee and Eric. Coming back now, there's just no words to describe what it feels like to watch these kids grow up and mature year after year. There's so much... love and pride and hope and... just... amazement. I only wish there were 10 of me. So I could do more, be more, and make everything we discussed come true. If only... but there's hope. just... after this summer. There will be life after this summer =).
Otherwise - updates.
life is good. things are good. being back in Toronto is good for the most part.
+FF + Pho + Parents
Peng and Cari are both in Toronto. The feeling of multiple worlds crashing together is some kind of wonderful. Except being all together just makes me miss Beijing and everything that comes along with it even more. On that note. Decisions have been made.
The best friend is also back. and bringing small drops of happiness with every conversation. except i really can't fit him into my schedule until at least late August =(.
Overall. I am grateful that I've got people in my life. People is what makes VY what it is. People make this summer livable. I am so grateful. That after everything that's happened, I've still got you. Much love all around. =).
.
另外。你。只要你开心。只要你幸福。就好了。
很感激曾经有过曾经。很抱歉我的所有不足。
我只想看到你幸福。你们。一定要幸福。
。
I no longer have social contact - except for the ppl that I work with and the loved ones that come downtown to study w/ me (much props and love to that - even if some of them brings 'fun' reading to flaunt in front of me and pretends to read. GOSH. lol. ) but yeah. I guess I do need some way of communicating to the vast world not listening out there.
VY Love.
Last weekend was VY opening weekend. I was clicking thru Bee's VY Opening album... and it's just ... insane. the amount of ... love... that just... overwhelms. Maybe it's been further amplified since the discussion w/ Vee Tuesday night. But I know. that being a part of this. is what makes me feel alive. VY has done so much for me. been so much for me. and there's no way I could be where I am or who I am had VY not happened. For this, I will forever be grateful to Vee and Eric. Coming back now, there's just no words to describe what it feels like to watch these kids grow up and mature year after year. There's so much... love and pride and hope and... just... amazement. I only wish there were 10 of me. So I could do more, be more, and make everything we discussed come true. If only... but there's hope. just... after this summer. There will be life after this summer =).
Otherwise - updates.
life is good. things are good. being back in Toronto is good for the most part.
+FF + Pho + Parents
Peng and Cari are both in Toronto. The feeling of multiple worlds crashing together is some kind of wonderful. Except being all together just makes me miss Beijing and everything that comes along with it even more. On that note. Decisions have been made.
The best friend is also back. and bringing small drops of happiness with every conversation. except i really can't fit him into my schedule until at least late August =(.
Overall. I am grateful that I've got people in my life. People is what makes VY what it is. People make this summer livable. I am so grateful. That after everything that's happened, I've still got you. Much love all around. =).
.
另外。你。只要你开心。只要你幸福。就好了。
很感激曾经有过曾经。很抱歉我的所有不足。
我只想看到你幸福。你们。一定要幸福。
。
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
happy days.
i wonder if i blog more about happy days or the less happy days.
today was one where.
simply nothing went right.
lol. ironic title eh?
... i still say places change people.
toronto makes me needy and reminiscent and grrr.
wo xiang ni le. bu ke jiu yao de xiang ni le.
ke xi . lian wo dou bu zhi dao ni shi shui.
zen me xiang?
xiang ni you you shen me yong.
ni you bu hui ma shang chu xian zai wo shen bian.
jiu suan chu xian le you zen me yang?
wo hai shi wo. ni hai shi ni.
wo zi ji de wen ti zhi you wo zi ji neng jie jue.
ni bu shi wo de superman.
another thk u for the best present ever. really.
"to be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest."
... thk u.
today was dark. and the city lights stole the brightness from the stars.
but tmr will be a better day.
.
today was one where.
simply nothing went right.
lol. ironic title eh?
... i still say places change people.
toronto makes me needy and reminiscent and grrr.
wo xiang ni le. bu ke jiu yao de xiang ni le.
ke xi . lian wo dou bu zhi dao ni shi shui.
zen me xiang?
xiang ni you you shen me yong.
ni you bu hui ma shang chu xian zai wo shen bian.
jiu suan chu xian le you zen me yang?
wo hai shi wo. ni hai shi ni.
wo zi ji de wen ti zhi you wo zi ji neng jie jue.
ni bu shi wo de superman.
another thk u for the best present ever. really.
"to be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest."
... thk u.
today was dark. and the city lights stole the brightness from the stars.
but tmr will be a better day.
.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
and i rmb.
i drove for the first time in over 9 months today.
missed driving so much in beijing.
but then was traumatized from our roadtrip in Europe.
so was scared to drive ever again. lol. but drove today. and man it was amazing.
... driving down the most familiar route, back to the most familiar neighbourhood.
it's amazing to be in an area where i know where people live.
where i know what's at every turn and every corner.
to go back to that mcDz that we watched getting built.
to pick up people like old times.
... it's funny. we were talking today.
about how the past 4 or 5 years of my life is a massive blur where i rmb next to nothing.
even beijing... i barely remember. except for the big things. o.O. i don't rmb much.
yet... i remember that year. those couple of years.
i remember us. i remember everything about that neighbourhood.
i remember everything that transpired there.
there are moments that are as vivid as if they happened just yesterday.
i still remember every word. every ...
funny eh? =P. i love/hate that area =).
it makes me go back to being someone who no longer exists. lol.
and driving home, back down the most familiar roads.
突然发现，原来疯狂的忙碌，与车里震耳欲聋的音乐，都一样。
其实都只是麻醉药而已。
.
missed driving so much in beijing.
but then was traumatized from our roadtrip in Europe.
so was scared to drive ever again. lol. but drove today. and man it was amazing.
... driving down the most familiar route, back to the most familiar neighbourhood.
it's amazing to be in an area where i know where people live.
where i know what's at every turn and every corner.
to go back to that mcDz that we watched getting built.
to pick up people like old times.
... it's funny. we were talking today.
about how the past 4 or 5 years of my life is a massive blur where i rmb next to nothing.
even beijing... i barely remember. except for the big things. o.O. i don't rmb much.
yet... i remember that year. those couple of years.
i remember us. i remember everything about that neighbourhood.
i remember everything that transpired there.
there are moments that are as vivid as if they happened just yesterday.
i still remember every word. every ...
funny eh? =P. i love/hate that area =).
it makes me go back to being someone who no longer exists. lol.
and driving home, back down the most familiar roads.
突然发现，原来疯狂的忙碌，与车里震耳欲聋的音乐，都一样。
其实都只是麻醉药而已。
.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
make belief.
i enjoy walking home at 11pm along bloor.
the lights twinkle and the window displays of luxury brand stores are brighter than ever.
it's a different scene out there. people are different and the atmosphere is... let's call it... lively. not the busy bustle of the day when people in suits are rushing around and cars are gridlocked. but a free-er, a quite kind of excitement.
i like giving stories to the people i see on the street.
- wonder where that asian/white girl is headed (couldn't tell under make up), with dainty gold stilettos, silver tights, green top, red purse and cornrows in her hair.
- a couple in full wedding attire, except for the groom's jacket over the bride's flowing white dress. in tow are a photographer struggling with flashes and a woman with a large (presumably) make up case - wonder how they met... wonder how their wedding will look...
- oh and her. the girl walking into my apartment building, professional look, but more fashionable, perfect make up, perfect body, again, stilettos, struggling for her keys while holding onto a pile of dresses in semi-transparent garment bags... hehe. the devil wears prada much? =P.
... so yes. i enjoy nights. i enjoy downtown. i enjoy people.
list of things that made me genuinely happy today.
- productivity
- email from ex-fellow-pg-intern. did not realize how much i had missed them.
- war of "1810" - a "tina" moment... except not by tina. =P =D.
- Sunday date =]
... man i swear there was more but i just can't remember right now anymore - lesson learned. record down happy things fast. we tend to forget them too soon.
the lights twinkle and the window displays of luxury brand stores are brighter than ever.
it's a different scene out there. people are different and the atmosphere is... let's call it... lively. not the busy bustle of the day when people in suits are rushing around and cars are gridlocked. but a free-er, a quite kind of excitement.
i like giving stories to the people i see on the street.
- wonder where that asian/white girl is headed (couldn't tell under make up), with dainty gold stilettos, silver tights, green top, red purse and cornrows in her hair.
- a couple in full wedding attire, except for the groom's jacket over the bride's flowing white dress. in tow are a photographer struggling with flashes and a woman with a large (presumably) make up case - wonder how they met... wonder how their wedding will look...
- oh and her. the girl walking into my apartment building, professional look, but more fashionable, perfect make up, perfect body, again, stilettos, struggling for her keys while holding onto a pile of dresses in semi-transparent garment bags... hehe. the devil wears prada much? =P.
... so yes. i enjoy nights. i enjoy downtown. i enjoy people.
list of things that made me genuinely happy today.
- productivity
- email from ex-fellow-pg-intern. did not realize how much i had missed them.
- war of "1810" - a "tina" moment... except not by tina. =P =D.
- Sunday date =]
... man i swear there was more but i just can't remember right now anymore - lesson learned. record down happy things fast. we tend to forget them too soon.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
learnings.
a few notes before i begin my night of case writing and then hopefully officially finish my term at ESADE and manage to get a couple minutes of sleep in before i goto work tomorrow.
1. city night scape is so beautiful. i am a city girl afterall.
2. but then again. can't see stars in the city and we all know how much i love that.
3. so many contradictory is all i am once again.
4. i have decided to go scout out a new route home from u of t. e.g. not walk on st. george starting thursday.
5. ANAT100 is hard as hell and i'm going to fail.
6. Though next time. i should actually read the material at least once before taking the test. -_-"
7. As a guilty pleasure and 1 hr of relaxation after a long day. Gossip Girl is SO much better than Greys.
8. i should REALLY stop watching Grey's. this show actually destroys me.
i believe this is all for today.
now. case. grrr.
1. city night scape is so beautiful. i am a city girl afterall.
2. but then again. can't see stars in the city and we all know how much i love that.
3. so many contradictory is all i am once again.
4. i have decided to go scout out a new route home from u of t. e.g. not walk on st. george starting thursday.
5. ANAT100 is hard as hell and i'm going to fail.
6. Though next time. i should actually read the material at least once before taking the test. -_-"
7. As a guilty pleasure and 1 hr of relaxation after a long day. Gossip Girl is SO much better than Greys.
8. i should REALLY stop watching Grey's. this show actually destroys me.
i believe this is all for today.
now. case. grrr.
Monday, May 18, 2009
note to self.
please learn to prioritize.
it doesn't matter what u're good at or what u enjoy learning.
with limited time. u need to make decisions.
Only HIST and ANAT account towards GPA
ESADE, FAH are pass/fail.
please allocate time accordingly.
....
why would anyone do this to themselves? why?
it doesn't matter what u're good at or what u enjoy learning.
with limited time. u need to make decisions.
Only HIST and ANAT account towards GPA
ESADE, FAH are pass/fail.
please allocate time accordingly.
....
why would anyone do this to themselves? why?
silence is golden.
“Be silent unless what you
Say is better than silence.”
came across this on someone's blog.
it's funny how i totally don't follow that.
and the world knows when i'm trying to procrastinate/trying really hard to actually do some work.
cuz the sudden outpour of mental diarrhea clogs up this blog.
man this stupid case that i gotta write. grrr.
but yes. i believe different places, different environments, with different people... makes me a different person. or drags me back to being someone i once was. more on this later. but yeah. w/ ff. sometimes i think silence is a luxury. cuz everyone waits for me to say something stupid cuz i talk to fill in the silence. and half the time i don't pay attn to what i'm actually saying. o.O.
can't think.
just...
another case of an infidel male.
and it makes me wonder how i ever expected to trust.
Say is better than silence.”
came across this on someone's blog.
it's funny how i totally don't follow that.
and the world knows when i'm trying to procrastinate/trying really hard to actually do some work.
cuz the sudden outpour of mental diarrhea clogs up this blog.
man this stupid case that i gotta write. grrr.
but yes. i believe different places, different environments, with different people... makes me a different person. or drags me back to being someone i once was. more on this later. but yeah. w/ ff. sometimes i think silence is a luxury. cuz everyone waits for me to say something stupid cuz i talk to fill in the silence. and half the time i don't pay attn to what i'm actually saying. o.O.
can't think.
just...
another case of an infidel male.
and it makes me wonder how i ever expected to trust.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
wants it all.
grr.
there's something to be said for greediness -_-".
also something called - "learning from past mistakes".
mannnn.
i can remember SO many times where i'd be trying to push my way thru a pile of deadlines and i'd promise promise myself that this is the last time i'd do this to myself.
and next wknd? it's right back to another pile of extracurriculars that i claim that make life worth living.
and every once i a lil while. i get maybe one day of nothingness... and something will come along and remind me why i had made myself so friking occupied.
to be quite honest. it's been extremely effective. and rather productive. =)
but MAN my body is craving for a break.
my brain literally can't hang on to another data point or building name. lol.
let's work this list down. i can DO this.
... promising self. yet again.
after this summer. no more. i swear.
.
there's something to be said for greediness -_-".
also something called - "learning from past mistakes".
mannnn.
i can remember SO many times where i'd be trying to push my way thru a pile of deadlines and i'd promise promise myself that this is the last time i'd do this to myself.
and next wknd? it's right back to another pile of extracurriculars that i claim that make life worth living.
and every once i a lil while. i get maybe one day of nothingness... and something will come along and remind me why i had made myself so friking occupied.
to be quite honest. it's been extremely effective. and rather productive. =)
but MAN my body is craving for a break.
my brain literally can't hang on to another data point or building name. lol.
let's work this list down. i can DO this.
... promising self. yet again.
after this summer. no more. i swear.
.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
it's good to be back.
i have no memory these days.
last night vee joked that i should re-read diaries.
so i actually did o.O LOL. re-read second year.
all i can say is... o.m.g. lol.
man i don't remember HALF the stuff that happened.
but... *shrugs*. i don't know.
read a book today. there was a line in it i liked.
“人失去记忆之后，是不会变成另一个人的，只是想不起来以往而已。”
so with this i agree.
on another note.
was so happy last night. =D
man it's been so long but it's sooooo good.
i'm so happy i've got friends in my life =]
def gotta meet up more often. =D
these ppl mean half the world to me and i am oh so grateful. SO grateful that they're still here after we've been thru. sometimes i think i forget. and then we meet up and i am reminded of how amazing it all could be.
.... so things turned out a lil differently from what we had planned for them to.
.... but it was a dream that we had dreamt together.
and... lol... i know that no matter where life takes me... or how i appear to change to the rest of the world. in their eyes. i'd still be that girl. or actually... more like the idiot child of the group. LOL. =P. it's allllll good. =) love.
and. never got around to it.
but OMG so grateful for the most thoughtful gift i have ever received in my entire life.
no seriously. i sat there thinking for a long time, about something else that could trump this, and came up with nothing (but then again i really have no memory these days so forgive me and remind me if there are). it doesn't matter that it took five months to actually get to me. simply the idea and the thought of it .... t h a n k y o u . really.
every single one of you. it means more than words can say.
and i'm glad there's still a lot of room left.
more space for more memories to be added =D.
we've got the rest of our lives. cuz i'm never letting you guys go. =)
ff. for life. we promised.
and final note.
last night when i came home.
i suddenly realized. i'm SO happy that they're happy.
i'm SO happy that he's happy. gosh. SO happy.
cuz that tells me.
if they are happy. then that must mean there's something better out there.
if he's happy with her. then they must be really good and it's still possible.
haha.
so there's still hope for the rest of us =).
last night vee joked that i should re-read diaries.
so i actually did o.O LOL. re-read second year.
all i can say is... o.m.g. lol.
man i don't remember HALF the stuff that happened.
but... *shrugs*. i don't know.
read a book today. there was a line in it i liked.
“人失去记忆之后，是不会变成另一个人的，只是想不起来以往而已。”
so with this i agree.
on another note.
was so happy last night. =D
man it's been so long but it's sooooo good.
i'm so happy i've got friends in my life =]
def gotta meet up more often. =D
these ppl mean half the world to me and i am oh so grateful. SO grateful that they're still here after we've been thru. sometimes i think i forget. and then we meet up and i am reminded of how amazing it all could be.
.... so things turned out a lil differently from what we had planned for them to.
.... but it was a dream that we had dreamt together.
and... lol... i know that no matter where life takes me... or how i appear to change to the rest of the world. in their eyes. i'd still be that girl. or actually... more like the idiot child of the group. LOL. =P. it's allllll good. =) love.
and. never got around to it.
but OMG so grateful for the most thoughtful gift i have ever received in my entire life.
no seriously. i sat there thinking for a long time, about something else that could trump this, and came up with nothing (but then again i really have no memory these days so forgive me and remind me if there are). it doesn't matter that it took five months to actually get to me. simply the idea and the thought of it .... t h a n k y o u . really.
every single one of you. it means more than words can say.
and i'm glad there's still a lot of room left.
more space for more memories to be added =D.
we've got the rest of our lives. cuz i'm never letting you guys go. =)
ff. for life. we promised.
and final note.
last night when i came home.
i suddenly realized. i'm SO happy that they're happy.
i'm SO happy that he's happy. gosh. SO happy.
cuz that tells me.
if they are happy. then that must mean there's something better out there.
if he's happy with her. then they must be really good and it's still possible.
haha.
so there's still hope for the rest of us =).
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
better in time.
don't know where the title came from. it just popped into my head.
day 2 of work was better than day 1. less overwhelmed, better adjusted, less jetlagged, and better rested....
newsflash - taking 2.5 credits in 4 months is equivalent to taking a full course load in a regular school year.
how did i not realize this before? o.O
it wasn't until a friend reminded me that i realized this last night.
... *sigh. i need to pull it together. i can do it. discipline. that's all.
on a lighter note.
the continuation of my entertaining life =P
modern architecture class at u of t after work... this guy sitting 3 rows in front of me. hot hair and hot piercing. basically, from where i was sitting, hot hot hot. then class ends. he stands up and turns around, and tina's bubble pops again. *sad. asian guys should grow taller, and guys with hot hair should be hot too. *sigh. oh reality =P
and. i heart dt toronto. i really do.
more on this at a later time =)
day 2 of work was better than day 1. less overwhelmed, better adjusted, less jetlagged, and better rested....
newsflash - taking 2.5 credits in 4 months is equivalent to taking a full course load in a regular school year.
how did i not realize this before? o.O
it wasn't until a friend reminded me that i realized this last night.
... *sigh. i need to pull it together. i can do it. discipline. that's all.
on a lighter note.
the continuation of my entertaining life =P
modern architecture class at u of t after work... this guy sitting 3 rows in front of me. hot hair and hot piercing. basically, from where i was sitting, hot hot hot. then class ends. he stands up and turns around, and tina's bubble pops again. *sad. asian guys should grow taller, and guys with hot hair should be hot too. *sigh. oh reality =P
and. i heart dt toronto. i really do.
more on this at a later time =)
Monday, May 11, 2009
reality is grrrr.
may 15 - Queen's HIST Assignment 1 Due
may 18 - ESADE Marketing Case Due
may 19 - Queen's ANAT Test 1
may 20 - U of T ARTH Quiz
may 22 - Work - Creative Brief due
........
.......
u know.... when i was planning out this summer... it looked like it could work out? like.. i mean. i was sure i could handle it. it'd be hard... but it'd be okay.
after day 1? ... i'm already at the brink. work looks like it's going to be amazing... but at the same time.... extremely demanding.
.... i somehow already have over 200 pages of reading that I am behind on.
how did this happen?
... grrr.
on a better note -
happiest thing that happened today: hot asian boy in my art history class.
saddest thing that happened today: 1.5 hours later, noticed ring on finger. grrr.
may 18 - ESADE Marketing Case Due
may 19 - Queen's ANAT Test 1
may 20 - U of T ARTH Quiz
may 22 - Work - Creative Brief due
........
.......
u know.... when i was planning out this summer... it looked like it could work out? like.. i mean. i was sure i could handle it. it'd be hard... but it'd be okay.
after day 1? ... i'm already at the brink. work looks like it's going to be amazing... but at the same time.... extremely demanding.
.... i somehow already have over 200 pages of reading that I am behind on.
how did this happen?
... grrr.
on a better note -
happiest thing that happened today: hot asian boy in my art history class.
saddest thing that happened today: 1.5 hours later, noticed ring on finger. grrr.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
HOME.
after 9 long months... i am home in Toronto.
oh. em. gee. o.O.
somehow it almost feels surreal.
there's something to be said about familiarity.
boarding the plane was the first shock of it.
DIVERSITY. an overwhelming amount of it that i was taken aback.
i heart canadians. gosh. 3 months in Europe has taught me the importance of diversity. and how much i had taken it for granted previously. =.=
in someways... it almost feels as though i had never left. o.O
i mean. it's Toronto afterall. the city just feels rather.... empty and deserted after the crowded cities and streets of China and Europe. =T.
but man. being physically inside my house was a whole other deal.
it's like... re-learning something that was familiar forever ago.
to be fair. i haven't actually lived lived in this place for close to two full years.
between kingston and moving out for work in the summers and the last 9 months... yeah.. i don't actually live here... lol. it's funny being a stranger in your own room. got home an hour ago, have just been looking around my ridiculously huge room and my CRAZY closet... (which i really really really did miss).. and trying to re-learn it all. try to figure out what was here... it's just... very strange. i have so far discovered that i have a LOT of stuff. lol. i have about 5 sets of stuff. one set for kingston, one for home, one for Toronto summer rental, one from China and one from Europe. i have a ridiculous amount of stuff. =T
.. lol. i will now go enjoy my 72" TV and get reacquainted w/ my babie grand.
and learn to speak english properly again o.O
(just got off the phone w/ tiff and my english is not.... coherent. LOL)
oh. em. gee. o.O.
somehow it almost feels surreal.
there's something to be said about familiarity.
boarding the plane was the first shock of it.
DIVERSITY. an overwhelming amount of it that i was taken aback.
i heart canadians. gosh. 3 months in Europe has taught me the importance of diversity. and how much i had taken it for granted previously. =.=
in someways... it almost feels as though i had never left. o.O
i mean. it's Toronto afterall. the city just feels rather.... empty and deserted after the crowded cities and streets of China and Europe. =T.
but man. being physically inside my house was a whole other deal.
it's like... re-learning something that was familiar forever ago.
to be fair. i haven't actually lived lived in this place for close to two full years.
between kingston and moving out for work in the summers and the last 9 months... yeah.. i don't actually live here... lol. it's funny being a stranger in your own room. got home an hour ago, have just been looking around my ridiculously huge room and my CRAZY closet... (which i really really really did miss).. and trying to re-learn it all. try to figure out what was here... it's just... very strange. i have so far discovered that i have a LOT of stuff. lol. i have about 5 sets of stuff. one set for kingston, one for home, one for Toronto summer rental, one from China and one from Europe. i have a ridiculous amount of stuff. =T
.. lol. i will now go enjoy my 72" TV and get reacquainted w/ my babie grand.
and learn to speak english properly again o.O
(just got off the phone w/ tiff and my english is not.... coherent. LOL)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
in memory of.
Facebook is a strange thing.
It kind of freezes time in a weird kind of way.
I guess the creators of facebook never thought about the accounts of people that pass away... that after they pass away.. there's no one else that knows their password... they can't delete or remove the account... or indicate on it somehow that that person is no longer with us.
maybe it's a good thing... in a way, it reminds us of them, it keeps them at that moment in their lives, it becomes a place where people can mourn and share and remember.
Tomorrow Andrius will have passed away for a month.
Somehow time seems weird. It feels like forever since it has happened... yet it's like yesterday that we were still in Beijing, chilling and travelling and hanging out.
He was the last person to message me as I was leaving Beijing to goto Chongqing, inviting me to dinner to catch up. I am so sorry for not being able to make it... ... sigh.
....
funny how facebook has helped me get to know him even better after the fact.
It just amazes me how many different people from around the world he has met and had so many wonderful memories with. how many people he has touched in his life.
Everyone speaks about how positive, how open, and in general, how great of a person he was.
It still shocks me to no end that... he would be one to choose such an ending.
It bothers me that.... we could have been there...
his family is still searching for reasons... ........
gah. i need to stop. 2 more exams and one more 12 page paper. i need to do this. i need to focus.
it's just... crazy how much this has affected me and it bothers me that no one else seems to be as affected as i am and there's no one to talk to about it and i realize i am overly sensitive and i over react and he would laugh at me if he knew i was acting like this. I was watching YouTube the other day, Kangxilaile, and S was talking about a friend who had passed away, and she would force herself to keep talking about him rather than avoiding touching on that memory because she believes that, that way, they'll know that they haven't forgotten them, and in their memory he lives on. I don't know. =T.
aagh. omg. i need to stop. I don't even understand why I react so ... agh. need to study. need to focus. exam in not that many hours. ahhhh. Gosh Andrius... so mad at you for making me like this. GRRR. happy memories. happy thoughts. GOSH tina. FOCUS. go study. 2 more daysssss. just power through them. grrrrrrrrrr.
.... man i need to grow up.
.
rest in peace Andrius.
we miss you.
take care.
.
It kind of freezes time in a weird kind of way.
I guess the creators of facebook never thought about the accounts of people that pass away... that after they pass away.. there's no one else that knows their password... they can't delete or remove the account... or indicate on it somehow that that person is no longer with us.
maybe it's a good thing... in a way, it reminds us of them, it keeps them at that moment in their lives, it becomes a place where people can mourn and share and remember.
Tomorrow Andrius will have passed away for a month.
Somehow time seems weird. It feels like forever since it has happened... yet it's like yesterday that we were still in Beijing, chilling and travelling and hanging out.
He was the last person to message me as I was leaving Beijing to goto Chongqing, inviting me to dinner to catch up. I am so sorry for not being able to make it... ... sigh.
....
funny how facebook has helped me get to know him even better after the fact.
It just amazes me how many different people from around the world he has met and had so many wonderful memories with. how many people he has touched in his life.
Everyone speaks about how positive, how open, and in general, how great of a person he was.
It still shocks me to no end that... he would be one to choose such an ending.
It bothers me that.... we could have been there...
his family is still searching for reasons... ........
gah. i need to stop. 2 more exams and one more 12 page paper. i need to do this. i need to focus.
it's just... crazy how much this has affected me and it bothers me that no one else seems to be as affected as i am and there's no one to talk to about it and i realize i am overly sensitive and i over react and he would laugh at me if he knew i was acting like this. I was watching YouTube the other day, Kangxilaile, and S was talking about a friend who had passed away, and she would force herself to keep talking about him rather than avoiding touching on that memory because she believes that, that way, they'll know that they haven't forgotten them, and in their memory he lives on. I don't know. =T.
aagh. omg. i need to stop. I don't even understand why I react so ... agh. need to study. need to focus. exam in not that many hours. ahhhh. Gosh Andrius... so mad at you for making me like this. GRRR. happy memories. happy thoughts. GOSH tina. FOCUS. go study. 2 more daysssss. just power through them. grrrrrrrrrr.
.... man i need to grow up.
.
rest in peace Andrius.
we miss you.
take care.
.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
photo blog - chef tee - part 2 =)
So there are days that procrastination brings wonderful things.
sometimes i seriously think i'm supergirl. really!
I am capable of AMAZING things when procrastinating.
... as long as you don't make me go do my work =)
hehe. taste of asia in barcelona =P.
bought the tapioca rice a lot earlier when i first arrived to make myself happie. and was planning on saving it for a rainy day. and kinda forgot all about it. Shirley being here made me remember =D.
.. and this was... Paella, a typical spanish dish... but tee-styled. LOL. i added bits and pieces of random things i found in my kitchen. it was yummilicious =)
and no. i wasn't lazy. u actually eat it straight from the pan. that's the right way to do it =]
that's all for now. maybe i'll make something cool for dinner too =D.
mannnn i'm so screwed for exams? o.O
sometimes i seriously think i'm supergirl. really!
I am capable of AMAZING things when procrastinating.
... as long as you don't make me go do my work =)
hehe. taste of asia in barcelona =P.
bought the tapioca rice a lot earlier when i first arrived to make myself happie. and was planning on saving it for a rainy day. and kinda forgot all about it. Shirley being here made me remember =D.
.. and this was... Paella, a typical spanish dish... but tee-styled. LOL. i added bits and pieces of random things i found in my kitchen. it was yummilicious =)
and no. i wasn't lazy. u actually eat it straight from the pan. that's the right way to do it =]
that's all for now. maybe i'll make something cool for dinner too =D.
mannnn i'm so screwed for exams? o.O
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Procrastination.
back from Seville and Granada. much to say about this trip... but i'll do it later =P.
... so i was procrastinating again.
i now have 4 days left. 2 essays. 1 assignment. 2 exams.
somehow that's all supposed to fit into 4 days.
i've been trying to do these 2 essays for the past 2 weeks. actaully. i was only trying to start one of them. -_-". i have gotten NOwhere.
apart from ward grade 12 june rush... i think this is the worst shape i have ever been.
yet all i can think of doing... is creeping facebook and xiaonei. and think about how much i want to be in beijing instead. lol.
gosh.
TINA. do your frigging work. u're not going to bed until you finish a paragraph. Come. FRIGGIN. ON. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
... so i was procrastinating again.
i now have 4 days left. 2 essays. 1 assignment. 2 exams.
somehow that's all supposed to fit into 4 days.
i've been trying to do these 2 essays for the past 2 weeks. actaully. i was only trying to start one of them. -_-". i have gotten NOwhere.
apart from ward grade 12 june rush... i think this is the worst shape i have ever been.
yet all i can think of doing... is creeping facebook and xiaonei. and think about how much i want to be in beijing instead. lol.
gosh.
TINA. do your frigging work. u're not going to bed until you finish a paragraph. Come. FRIGGIN. ON. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
days are beautiful.
beautiful beautiful blue skies in Barcelona.
the grass is the most wonderful shade of green.
the flowers are in full blossom in the most vibrant of shades.
... and my allergies are through the roof trying to kill me.
grrrrrrrrrrr. my eyes itch my head hurts my face is rash-y i'm severely drugged and i can't breathe. grrrrrrrrrrr.
and i have 2 presentations 2 papers 2 exams and 1 assignment in the next 9 days.
and i'm leaving tmr night after 9 hours of class on another trip across the country.
... oh dear. =T
the grass is the most wonderful shade of green.
the flowers are in full blossom in the most vibrant of shades.
... and my allergies are through the roof trying to kill me.
grrrrrrrrrrr. my eyes itch my head hurts my face is rash-y i'm severely drugged and i can't breathe. grrrrrrrrrrr.
and i have 2 presentations 2 papers 2 exams and 1 assignment in the next 9 days.
and i'm leaving tmr night after 9 hours of class on another trip across the country.
... oh dear. =T
Sunday, April 12, 2009
what if.
so i was just going thru my favourites on youtube.
(yes i am still wasting life)
and came across this old school wongfu video.
(yes. my love for this guy goes farrrr back)
so yeah.
happens to be one of the things i've been wondering abt lately.
(no. not related to me personally. tv drama > tina drama, btw. tina has no drama lately. =] )
what if.
so many things. so many times. so many moments.
it's about that one turn. one word. one touch. one last moment.
there's... a small part of me. that keeps wondering.
if only he had just said it in person instead of writing it...
if only she hadn't missed that call.
if only he pulled her back that one last time.
if only she just looked back when she walked away.
if only their friend told her first.
if only ....
so many things. just a matter of that one split second. one decision.
it would've all been different. ... or would it?
so yeah. no. i believe that everything happens for a reason.
therefore. he didn't. and she didn't. and they didn't.
it was probably for the best.
everything happens for a reason.
i just need to be able to see the reason sooner. lol.
(yes i am still wasting life)
and came across this old school wongfu video.
(yes. my love for this guy goes farrrr back)
so yeah.
happens to be one of the things i've been wondering abt lately.
(no. not related to me personally. tv drama > tina drama, btw. tina has no drama lately. =] )
what if.
so many things. so many times. so many moments.
it's about that one turn. one word. one touch. one last moment.
there's... a small part of me. that keeps wondering.
if only he had just said it in person instead of writing it...
if only she hadn't missed that call.
if only he pulled her back that one last time.
if only she just looked back when she walked away.
if only their friend told her first.
if only ....
so many things. just a matter of that one split second. one decision.
it would've all been different. ... or would it?
so yeah. no. i believe that everything happens for a reason.
therefore. he didn't. and she didn't. and they didn't.
it was probably for the best.
everything happens for a reason.
i just need to be able to see the reason sooner. lol.
day of failures =T.
今天一个人在家。
不得不承认... 我居然真的病了。哭~
easter sunday + monday, 所有商店都关门。
还好昨天回来以后去抢购了一番。
自己一个人狂灌orange juice... 至少有vitamin C 嘛。
然后向烧水冲点药喝... 居然忘了...
把锅烧干了至少一个多小时，居然没着火。庆幸庆幸。
为了逃避一大堆的 papers & presentations...
所以狂看 youtube. 收拾我们的flat.
想 roommates 回来以后给他们一个惊喜，或者至少是一个 relief 吧。
头晕晕的但超级勤奋的把家里打扫得干干净净。
然后在厨房里突然发现好像隐隐约约的有煤气味道。
反应半天才发现，擦炉子的时候不小心把四个炉头都擦开了。
但因为鼻子闻不到东西，一直没发现。
赶紧把所有的窗子和们都打开。
超级感谢发明煤气要加味道的人。
也很好奇我要真自己一个人关在厨房里煤气中毒了怎么办... o.O
很失败的一天。grrrrr.
还剩11天就可以见到爸爸妈妈了。
我居然现在病了。argh. =(
不得不承认... 我居然真的病了。哭~
easter sunday + monday, 所有商店都关门。
还好昨天回来以后去抢购了一番。
自己一个人狂灌orange juice... 至少有vitamin C 嘛。
然后向烧水冲点药喝... 居然忘了...
把锅烧干了至少一个多小时，居然没着火。庆幸庆幸。
为了逃避一大堆的 papers & presentations...
所以狂看 youtube. 收拾我们的flat.
想 roommates 回来以后给他们一个惊喜，或者至少是一个 relief 吧。
头晕晕的但超级勤奋的把家里打扫得干干净净。
然后在厨房里突然发现好像隐隐约约的有煤气味道。
反应半天才发现，擦炉子的时候不小心把四个炉头都擦开了。
但因为鼻子闻不到东西，一直没发现。
赶紧把所有的窗子和们都打开。
超级感谢发明煤气要加味道的人。
也很好奇我要真自己一个人关在厨房里煤气中毒了怎么办... o.O
很失败的一天。grrrrr.
还剩11天就可以见到爸爸妈妈了。
我居然现在病了。argh. =(
幸福很简单。
man i'm the master of time wasting.
前两天想起来流星花园2里，杉菜和道明寺是来巴塞罗那玩儿的。
今天把这n多年都没碰过的剧情翻了出来。看着他们玩儿 las ramblas, port olimpique, 在 sagrada familia 前面斗嘴，在 parc guell 送幸福，走散，团聚.... 在我最熟悉的那条小道上，他承诺说他永远不会离开她。
我发现... 好像我当时会选择巴塞罗那，跟这部戏有莫大的关系。
funny how my life is run by television sometimes.
一直很喜欢很喜欢去 parc guell，今天看了他们在那里，更喜欢了。
好像离幸福很近。
阿寺跟杉菜求婚的教堂... 我花了45分钟各种 mad google. lol.
但最后终于找到了
Monasterio de Sant Ponç de Corbera
我很想去看看。一个人就好。
google maps 说20km, 走路大概4小时。
其实也就是在多伦多从公司走回家的距离。
要是有车就好了。
流星花园说这个教堂有幸福的传说。
说在那里许下承诺的情侣，会被天使的祝福保佑。
应该是为了剧情而编的吧？
但是我甘心被骗。也愿意一个人自己去找这个传说。
可惜只剩下12天在这个地方了。
看看吧。
另外。facebook newsfeed 让我无意中发现。。。
曾经相爱的两个人，很久很久以前的时候。。。
居然到现在还断断续续的有联系。
数一数... 八年前的事情了。
我好清楚地记得，她曾经为了他所作的一切。
一幕一幕，那么清新。
当时... 那么死去活来的故事。
如今也变成一晚一晚的drunken clubbing 而淡化了。
她还是很大方的可以wall post: "I miss u. heart." 等等。
很好奇她现在到底是怎么想的。
或许时间真得可以淡化一切。
反正... 时间不能做到的事情... 酒精好像可以麻醉吧。
前两天想起来流星花园2里，杉菜和道明寺是来巴塞罗那玩儿的。
今天把这n多年都没碰过的剧情翻了出来。看着他们玩儿 las ramblas, port olimpique, 在 sagrada familia 前面斗嘴，在 parc guell 送幸福，走散，团聚.... 在我最熟悉的那条小道上，他承诺说他永远不会离开她。
我发现... 好像我当时会选择巴塞罗那，跟这部戏有莫大的关系。
funny how my life is run by television sometimes.
一直很喜欢很喜欢去 parc guell，今天看了他们在那里，更喜欢了。
好像离幸福很近。
阿寺跟杉菜求婚的教堂... 我花了45分钟各种 mad google. lol.
但最后终于找到了
Monasterio de Sant Ponç de Corbera
我很想去看看。一个人就好。
google maps 说20km, 走路大概4小时。
其实也就是在多伦多从公司走回家的距离。
要是有车就好了。
流星花园说这个教堂有幸福的传说。
说在那里许下承诺的情侣，会被天使的祝福保佑。
应该是为了剧情而编的吧？
但是我甘心被骗。也愿意一个人自己去找这个传说。
可惜只剩下12天在这个地方了。
看看吧。
另外。facebook newsfeed 让我无意中发现。。。
曾经相爱的两个人，很久很久以前的时候。。。
居然到现在还断断续续的有联系。
数一数... 八年前的事情了。
我好清楚地记得，她曾经为了他所作的一切。
一幕一幕，那么清新。
当时... 那么死去活来的故事。
如今也变成一晚一晚的drunken clubbing 而淡化了。
她还是很大方的可以wall post: "I miss u. heart." 等等。
很好奇她现在到底是怎么想的。
或许时间真得可以淡化一切。
反正... 时间不能做到的事情... 酒精好像可以麻醉吧。
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
my day off.
lol. so this is the one day break i shouldn't have given myself. but did anyway =P
it's insane how much the weather affects me. i haven't done anything all week because it's been raining like crazy in Barcelona and I can't get the motivation in me to do ANYTHING. I'm supposed to be flying out in about 8 hours but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it. nothing feels real at the moment. lol... =T. i best wake up for my flight or else i'll be pissed =T.
so yes. holed myself up all day in my room watching "Goong" (kdrama) for the Nth time. complete with endless supplies of food and chocolate =). but felt guilty the entire time cuz i knew i should've been doing work =T. but grrrrrrrrr. it's Easter and i don't WANT to do work and it's RAINING. lol. so yes. i was also facebook stalking today... and omg. i know i've been away for a really long time... but facebook is making me feel super.... out of it. lol. i'm totally out of date on everything that's happening in the world... i don't keep up with the news. i don't watch the new movies. i don't catch the gossip and i haven't really been keeping up w/ my friends. i guess the only thing that i am up to date on is grey's. LOL. so yes. was facebook stalking... and suddenly was reminded of allllllllllllllllll the couples that have been going out for a long time. like. OMG. some of my friends / acquaintances have been going out for so long that... o.O. i don't understand. some of them have been going out for like... 4 or 5 years... how is that humanly possible? o.O. i don't understand it o.O. i mean... i do. it's just... o.O. four or five years? actually. I think i'm less surprised at the fact that they've been going out for so long than I am surprised at the fact that it's actually been that long. Am I seriously about to finish 3rd yr of university? OH. and I was watching Goong ... and they were talking about how the girl was 19... i think when i first watched it I was 17 or something.... and then I sat there thinking for a while.... how old am i? o.O? 19? no wait... i can't be 19 anymore.... what was my last birthday? o.O... y can't I remember. 20? okay yeah 20. no wait. wtf? 21? o.O LMAO..... oh dear gosh. a bunch of my friends already have kids.... well I guess it's becoming less and less surprising to hear friends having babies these days.... but... still. their babies are like... 3 yrs old now... oldest kid is 6 already o.O. like.... whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? sooooooooo many couples have been going out for so long too. a lot of them were from high school, so not really surprising or anythig... but when you think... high school was 3 yrs ago. o.O? whaaaaaaaaat? lmao. i'm not lamenting my own oldness. i'm more lamenting the scariness of everyone else around me. I'm still 12 and happily so =). everyone else is just getting scary.
.... i shall now go do some work. and fly to Milan in 8 hours o.O.
... y is everything so surreal =T.
it's insane how much the weather affects me. i haven't done anything all week because it's been raining like crazy in Barcelona and I can't get the motivation in me to do ANYTHING. I'm supposed to be flying out in about 8 hours but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it. nothing feels real at the moment. lol... =T. i best wake up for my flight or else i'll be pissed =T.
so yes. holed myself up all day in my room watching "Goong" (kdrama) for the Nth time. complete with endless supplies of food and chocolate =). but felt guilty the entire time cuz i knew i should've been doing work =T. but grrrrrrrrr. it's Easter and i don't WANT to do work and it's RAINING. lol. so yes. i was also facebook stalking today... and omg. i know i've been away for a really long time... but facebook is making me feel super.... out of it. lol. i'm totally out of date on everything that's happening in the world... i don't keep up with the news. i don't watch the new movies. i don't catch the gossip and i haven't really been keeping up w/ my friends. i guess the only thing that i am up to date on is grey's. LOL. so yes. was facebook stalking... and suddenly was reminded of allllllllllllllllll the couples that have been going out for a long time. like. OMG. some of my friends / acquaintances have been going out for so long that... o.O. i don't understand. some of them have been going out for like... 4 or 5 years... how is that humanly possible? o.O. i don't understand it o.O. i mean... i do. it's just... o.O. four or five years? actually. I think i'm less surprised at the fact that they've been going out for so long than I am surprised at the fact that it's actually been that long. Am I seriously about to finish 3rd yr of university? OH. and I was watching Goong ... and they were talking about how the girl was 19... i think when i first watched it I was 17 or something.... and then I sat there thinking for a while.... how old am i? o.O? 19? no wait... i can't be 19 anymore.... what was my last birthday? o.O... y can't I remember. 20? okay yeah 20. no wait. wtf? 21? o.O LMAO..... oh dear gosh. a bunch of my friends already have kids.... well I guess it's becoming less and less surprising to hear friends having babies these days.... but... still. their babies are like... 3 yrs old now... oldest kid is 6 already o.O. like.... whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? sooooooooo many couples have been going out for so long too. a lot of them were from high school, so not really surprising or anythig... but when you think... high school was 3 yrs ago. o.O? whaaaaaaaaat? lmao. i'm not lamenting my own oldness. i'm more lamenting the scariness of everyone else around me. I'm still 12 and happily so =). everyone else is just getting scary.
.... i shall now go do some work. and fly to Milan in 8 hours o.O.
... y is everything so surreal =T.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
on repeat.
天亮了 天亮了
地球又转一圈了
世界还活生生的存在着
还活着 没想到我还活着
穿越一场海啸什么滋味
我终于亲身体会天崩地裂
筋疲力尽灵魂不在身体里面
然而万岁万岁终于和你有个了结
你一边我一边
我们的世界最好别再重叠
也别再回想那个太长太长的昨天
太多爱太多泪别再这样浪费
天亮了 天亮了 地球又转一圈了
既然我还幸运的活着
当然要全力以赴去快乐
天亮了 天亮了 世界还是好好的
什么痛都是更渺小的
看太阳不是又升起来了
结束一段感情当然不像
瞒个假那么方便 太多时间
太多随便堆在回忆那间房间
但是忍耐一定不去碰它就不危险
你没变 我没变
我们到最后才能懂这一点
人活着不就为了实现一个个心愿
好可惜 我和你 许了不同的愿
我的心是我的 不会再给你了
我是我自己的 我很快乐
地球又转一圈了
世界还活生生的存在着
还活着 没想到我还活着
穿越一场海啸什么滋味
我终于亲身体会天崩地裂
筋疲力尽灵魂不在身体里面
然而万岁万岁终于和你有个了结
你一边我一边
我们的世界最好别再重叠
也别再回想那个太长太长的昨天
太多爱太多泪别再这样浪费
天亮了 天亮了 地球又转一圈了
既然我还幸运的活着
当然要全力以赴去快乐
天亮了 天亮了 世界还是好好的
什么痛都是更渺小的
看太阳不是又升起来了
结束一段感情当然不像
瞒个假那么方便 太多时间
太多随便堆在回忆那间房间
但是忍耐一定不去碰它就不危险
你没变 我没变
我们到最后才能懂这一点
人活着不就为了实现一个个心愿
好可惜 我和你 许了不同的愿
我的心是我的 不会再给你了
我是我自己的 我很快乐
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
brussels and amsterdam
maybe it was due to travelling on ground vs air... i was oddly aware of my geographical location the entire time on this trip. strange feeling, but interesting - in my head there was mini-me on a big globe, moving like a dot from place to place to place =P.
so this was a long journey. left thursday morning 8am from barcelona. via train to montpellier, france. crossing the border between Spain and France at Portbou, Spain. It was the coolest thing ever. Apparently, the width of the train tracks differ between France and Spain, French tracks are narrower than that of the Spanish. So the train, would actually adjust the width of the wheels as we were passing through the border. so cool =). and southern France and Spain is SOOOOOOOOOO pretty. totally looking forward to driving through it with parents. it's all these lil coves of the mediterraean, surrounded by red-orange roofs of small white buildings and blue blue blue sea. so pretty =) [btw. this feels like a month ago that this happend =T]
Then from Montpellier, I had a one hour layover before my train to Paris. The ride was much more.... boring... going thru central France. and as soon as we got to Paris, the weather just turned gray. ew. and I swear it's a different season up there. we were all going to the beach in Barcelona, and they were still in their winter jackets. lol. so from Paris Gare du Lyon, switched 3 Metro trains and RER to get to Gallieni, Eurolines station, one hour layover until boarded bus to Brussels. The drive between Paris and Brussels reminded me SO much of the drive from Toronto to Kingston. lol.... yes... i miss "Car rides with Mo & Tina". so anyway. by the time I arrived in Brussels it was 11pm... I was gonna try to get to the hostel... and maybe just sit in their lounge or something til morning... cuz all the hostels in Brussels were booked full that night.... -_-"... so I tried to follow direction... and failed miserably. Seriously. perfectly pretty and innocent streets during the day turn so scary at night =T. and it was raining. so I was sad. I wandered around for about 45 minutes near Gare du Nord in Brussels... finally ended up between two night clubs with SEX written all over them... and about the Nth guy that have come up and spoken some random thing at me... as another approached, I walked into "ChaoChow Palace" at the corner of the street, between the 2 sex clubs. So apparently this was a four-star hotel... lol. I asked the receptionist for directions, he looked Chinese and the place seemed Chinese so I spoke Chinese. I eventually managed to convince him to let me stay in the lobby for the night. he was SUPER nice. not ONLY did he let me stay. he found me a couch in another room and let me sleep there until like 5am. =D. and then around 6:30, when it was brighter outside, pointed me in the right direction =DDDDDDDDD. Apparently he was from Tibet. Man he was so cool. still soooooooo grateful. SOOO grateful.
Met up with Steph at the hostel at 11am, and went on to meet up with the other Canadians and explore Brussels. We eventually managed to lose the other Canadians after one day... by accident =T. and then... was terrorized by this CRAZY lady in our hostel room... (still shudder at the thought of her... MAN she was so scary.... *sniff) then went on to Amsterdam. =D
Amsterdam was AMAZING. i loved Amsterdam. lol. apparently the most multicultural city in the world, just before Toronto (40% Dutch, remaining 60% from 170 countries, vs 30% Canadian, remaining 70% from 150 countries). We did a bike tour of the countryside and saw old windmills and cheese farms and clog making... i LOVE LOVE LOVE bikes. and the Amsterdam bikes were just crazy archaic. LOL. loved them. and Amsterdam also had the BIGGEST Chinatown I have seen in Europe. Just weird that I swear the Buddhist temple we saw was only meters away from the red light district and the weed street o.O. anyway. 2nd day, we moved into an AMAZING hostel. omg that was an amazing hostel..... best yet. =). and then did a walking tour the second day of downtown Amsterdam. Had a WONDERFUL guide who told a really moving story about Amsterdam during the Holocaust. was just a fantastic tour. and then we went on the bus back to Brussels... at the station we bumped into this Chinese guy studying in Paris that we had met at our first Amsterdam hostel, he was about to get on the bus at Brussels to go back to Paris. lol. what are the chances. so yeahhhh. then flew from Brussels back to Barcelona. Completing my five day trip that somehow felt weeks long. lol.
Overall, this trip... started out super sketchy, but got really really lucky. FAITH in PEOPLE I tell you. There are some, that I'm sure, can attribute all my luckiness to God... but for now, I'm just going to say... faith in people and sheer will, has gotten me very very far =) and I am soooo grateful =D. so yes. saw a lot of old buildings. Mannekin pis. A lot of red light girls. A Stella, a Heineken, and a local brew. a lot of fries with mayo and a lot of waffles and even more chocolate =D. great trip =]
On the other hand, somewhere along the endless hours of transport... or precisely between the Hague and Antwerpe, I managed to figure out 09 Resolution #3. I think I'm determined =)
Additionally, riding bikes and getting 3 days of amazing weather of the only 65 days of sun that Amsterdam usually gets, got me thinking. lol. I just want to be in a city that rides bikes. a city that has sun. .... but most of all.... after all is said and done. I just want to be in Beijing. I miss Beijing more than I miss anything about Canada. Maybe exchange was just a whirlwind of absolute amazingness that cannot be extended to real life in China... but... after everything... I'd still want to be in Beijing. Beijing just makes me happy. Daisy's planned trip back to Beijing at end of August is making me seriously consider dropping another grand to go back to Beijing for a couple of weeks. So yes.... dear friends. if you hear of any job opportunities in Beijing, please send them this way. Along with all the complications and problems that Beijing would bring... it's still where I want to be. =).
in less than 72 hours, headed for Milan, Pisa, Cinque Terre, and Florence. Will be back after Easter =)
so this was a long journey. left thursday morning 8am from barcelona. via train to montpellier, france. crossing the border between Spain and France at Portbou, Spain. It was the coolest thing ever. Apparently, the width of the train tracks differ between France and Spain, French tracks are narrower than that of the Spanish. So the train, would actually adjust the width of the wheels as we were passing through the border. so cool =). and southern France and Spain is SOOOOOOOOOO pretty. totally looking forward to driving through it with parents. it's all these lil coves of the mediterraean, surrounded by red-orange roofs of small white buildings and blue blue blue sea. so pretty =) [btw. this feels like a month ago that this happend =T]
Then from Montpellier, I had a one hour layover before my train to Paris. The ride was much more.... boring... going thru central France. and as soon as we got to Paris, the weather just turned gray. ew. and I swear it's a different season up there. we were all going to the beach in Barcelona, and they were still in their winter jackets. lol. so from Paris Gare du Lyon, switched 3 Metro trains and RER to get to Gallieni, Eurolines station, one hour layover until boarded bus to Brussels. The drive between Paris and Brussels reminded me SO much of the drive from Toronto to Kingston. lol.... yes... i miss "Car rides with Mo & Tina". so anyway. by the time I arrived in Brussels it was 11pm... I was gonna try to get to the hostel... and maybe just sit in their lounge or something til morning... cuz all the hostels in Brussels were booked full that night.... -_-"... so I tried to follow direction... and failed miserably. Seriously. perfectly pretty and innocent streets during the day turn so scary at night =T. and it was raining. so I was sad. I wandered around for about 45 minutes near Gare du Nord in Brussels... finally ended up between two night clubs with SEX written all over them... and about the Nth guy that have come up and spoken some random thing at me... as another approached, I walked into "ChaoChow Palace" at the corner of the street, between the 2 sex clubs. So apparently this was a four-star hotel... lol. I asked the receptionist for directions, he looked Chinese and the place seemed Chinese so I spoke Chinese. I eventually managed to convince him to let me stay in the lobby for the night. he was SUPER nice. not ONLY did he let me stay. he found me a couch in another room and let me sleep there until like 5am. =D. and then around 6:30, when it was brighter outside, pointed me in the right direction =DDDDDDDDD. Apparently he was from Tibet. Man he was so cool. still soooooooo grateful. SOOO grateful.
Met up with Steph at the hostel at 11am, and went on to meet up with the other Canadians and explore Brussels. We eventually managed to lose the other Canadians after one day... by accident =T. and then... was terrorized by this CRAZY lady in our hostel room... (still shudder at the thought of her... MAN she was so scary.... *sniff) then went on to Amsterdam. =D
Amsterdam was AMAZING. i loved Amsterdam. lol. apparently the most multicultural city in the world, just before Toronto (40% Dutch, remaining 60% from 170 countries, vs 30% Canadian, remaining 70% from 150 countries). We did a bike tour of the countryside and saw old windmills and cheese farms and clog making... i LOVE LOVE LOVE bikes. and the Amsterdam bikes were just crazy archaic. LOL. loved them. and Amsterdam also had the BIGGEST Chinatown I have seen in Europe. Just weird that I swear the Buddhist temple we saw was only meters away from the red light district and the weed street o.O. anyway. 2nd day, we moved into an AMAZING hostel. omg that was an amazing hostel..... best yet. =). and then did a walking tour the second day of downtown Amsterdam. Had a WONDERFUL guide who told a really moving story about Amsterdam during the Holocaust. was just a fantastic tour. and then we went on the bus back to Brussels... at the station we bumped into this Chinese guy studying in Paris that we had met at our first Amsterdam hostel, he was about to get on the bus at Brussels to go back to Paris. lol. what are the chances. so yeahhhh. then flew from Brussels back to Barcelona. Completing my five day trip that somehow felt weeks long. lol.
Overall, this trip... started out super sketchy, but got really really lucky. FAITH in PEOPLE I tell you. There are some, that I'm sure, can attribute all my luckiness to God... but for now, I'm just going to say... faith in people and sheer will, has gotten me very very far =) and I am soooo grateful =D. so yes. saw a lot of old buildings. Mannekin pis. A lot of red light girls. A Stella, a Heineken, and a local brew. a lot of fries with mayo and a lot of waffles and even more chocolate =D. great trip =]
On the other hand, somewhere along the endless hours of transport... or precisely between the Hague and Antwerpe, I managed to figure out 09 Resolution #3. I think I'm determined =)
Additionally, riding bikes and getting 3 days of amazing weather of the only 65 days of sun that Amsterdam usually gets, got me thinking. lol. I just want to be in a city that rides bikes. a city that has sun. .... but most of all.... after all is said and done. I just want to be in Beijing. I miss Beijing more than I miss anything about Canada. Maybe exchange was just a whirlwind of absolute amazingness that cannot be extended to real life in China... but... after everything... I'd still want to be in Beijing. Beijing just makes me happy. Daisy's planned trip back to Beijing at end of August is making me seriously consider dropping another grand to go back to Beijing for a couple of weeks. So yes.... dear friends. if you hear of any job opportunities in Beijing, please send them this way. Along with all the complications and problems that Beijing would bring... it's still where I want to be. =).
in less than 72 hours, headed for Milan, Pisa, Cinque Terre, and Florence. Will be back after Easter =)
Sunday, March 22, 2009
a walk down memory lane.
算初恋么？他说是。那就算呗。
那。。。这两天是他的生日。校内上看到他女朋友悄悄给他准备的生日会。
真的。两个人好幸福啊~。
初五小学同学聚会的时候，还是他开着他那辆奥拓来接我的。被同学们笑说就陈天悦老有专车接送。哈哈。。。 所以我一直对奥拓情有独钟。五年前他刚买这辆车的时候刚好赶上我回国，非得要送我回家。还算挺有记性，五年后居然还记得路送我回去。
嗯。在车上我问他，其实是想开玩笑的，是不是该结婚了？他说，嗯。差不多了。挣了钱，能养活他们俩就该结婚了。我下次回国的时候差不多了。
我记得我当时愣了一下。突然觉得这应该是电视剧里N年后的对话，怎么突然就发生了？
大概早走入社会让人们会早熟吧？
今天看到他们两个真得很幸福，真得很替他开心。
妈妈说我喜欢坏男生就是从他开始的。（我晕）。
喜欢北京男生也是因为他吧？喜欢他的北京调儿，喜欢他的吊儿郎当，更喜欢认真起来的样子。
他爸他妈一直很喜欢我，这次回国好像是唯一一次没去他家看他们的一次。说起来也有点不好意思。
一直很后悔自己的记忆需要的时候真得很烂。
只记得这辈子第一次，也是唯一一次，很无辜的被罚站的时候，他故意犯错，惹老师把他也给罚出来。 哈哈。。。
也那么多年了。哈哈。。。 在MSN上他是在“family"组里的。
那就祝这个十三年前第一个说喜欢我的男生生日快乐吧 =）
祝他们幸福。
那。。。这两天是他的生日。校内上看到他女朋友悄悄给他准备的生日会。
真的。两个人好幸福啊~。
初五小学同学聚会的时候，还是他开着他那辆奥拓来接我的。被同学们笑说就陈天悦老有专车接送。哈哈。。。 所以我一直对奥拓情有独钟。五年前他刚买这辆车的时候刚好赶上我回国，非得要送我回家。还算挺有记性，五年后居然还记得路送我回去。
嗯。在车上我问他，其实是想开玩笑的，是不是该结婚了？他说，嗯。差不多了。挣了钱，能养活他们俩就该结婚了。我下次回国的时候差不多了。
我记得我当时愣了一下。突然觉得这应该是电视剧里N年后的对话，怎么突然就发生了？
大概早走入社会让人们会早熟吧？
今天看到他们两个真得很幸福，真得很替他开心。
妈妈说我喜欢坏男生就是从他开始的。（我晕）。
喜欢北京男生也是因为他吧？喜欢他的北京调儿，喜欢他的吊儿郎当，更喜欢认真起来的样子。
他爸他妈一直很喜欢我，这次回国好像是唯一一次没去他家看他们的一次。说起来也有点不好意思。
一直很后悔自己的记忆需要的时候真得很烂。
只记得这辈子第一次，也是唯一一次，很无辜的被罚站的时候，他故意犯错，惹老师把他也给罚出来。 哈哈。。。
也那么多年了。哈哈。。。 在MSN上他是在“family"组里的。
那就祝这个十三年前第一个说喜欢我的男生生日快乐吧 =）
祝他们幸福。
Saturday, March 21, 2009
happily anti-social.
也许是前一阵子真得把自己弄太累了。
maybe i did travel too much in the past 7 weeks.
开始很喜欢自己一个人。
really starting to love being by myself.
一杯红酒，康熙来了，自己做的饭。。。
a glass of wine, youtube and home cooked meals...
觉得自己真得很幸福。
i realize how happy i actually am. =).
发现我什么都有了，什么都不想要了。
i realize i've got it all. i don't want anything else.
一个人过自己的生活。
life on my own is happy. =)
maybe i did travel too much in the past 7 weeks.
开始很喜欢自己一个人。
really starting to love being by myself.
一杯红酒，康熙来了，自己做的饭。。。
a glass of wine, youtube and home cooked meals...
觉得自己真得很幸福。
i realize how happy i actually am. =).
发现我什么都有了，什么都不想要了。
i realize i've got it all. i don't want anything else.
一个人过自己的生活。
life on my own is happy. =)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
i will follow you into the dark.
Grey's. Season 5. Episode 17.
someday. somewhere. someone.
i will tell you. that i will.
that i'll always. always. always.
without question. without a second thought.
i will.
until then.
distractions are all they are.
just distractions.
someday. somewhere. someone.
i will tell you. that i will.
that i'll always. always. always.
without question. without a second thought.
i will.
until then.
distractions are all they are.
just distractions.
home sweet home. =)
i heart heart heart barcelonaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
i'm back in the land of random palm trees and cherry blossoms =D. (the random palm trees were the first thing i saw when i came out of the airport and they made me smile. hehe =D)
so yes. i have realized that no, i'm not homesick (btw. i've pretty much never been homesick before which is why the previous bout of homesickness was extremely strange). so yes. i'm not homesick. i'm just... desperately in need to stay PUT for a while. lol. i'm SO glad i chose Barcelona. i'm SO glad I goto ESADE. hehe. it's mid march and it's MINISKIRT weather here in BCN. love love love. the plane ride from Munich to Barcelona was hilarious. I have no idea what happend but i swear we overshot Barcelona and went half way to Valencia. I think the pilot just decided it was amazing weather and everyone on the plane deserved a free tour of Barcelona and the south coast of Spain. for half an hour we just circled around the coastline. it was aweeeesome. i LOVE barcelona. I love passing by Gaudi's houses on my way home. I love walking past Chanel and Gucci and LV and Burberry as I rush to the bus that takes me straight home. I love the Spanish sun. and the blue blue skies and the beautiful beautiful colour of the ocean. sooooooo happy to be home. 7 days away was too long. and yes. I chose Barcelona so that I could be here for more than one weekend out of the seven that i've been in Europe for. LOL. looking forward to this week. Vienna was amazing. seeing Shirley was just fantaaaaaaastic =D. Budapest + Sternies was just love. felt sooooo like Beijing. lol. oh the memories. but now i'm back and i'm happier than ever that i'm back. SO looking forward to this weekend in the city. Totally up for a run to Park Guell and some sketching and just lying by the beach in the sun.
Barcelona isn't Beijing. it's not even Toronto. but it's where I am and I'm loving it all. =]
i'm back in the land of random palm trees and cherry blossoms =D. (the random palm trees were the first thing i saw when i came out of the airport and they made me smile. hehe =D)
so yes. i have realized that no, i'm not homesick (btw. i've pretty much never been homesick before which is why the previous bout of homesickness was extremely strange). so yes. i'm not homesick. i'm just... desperately in need to stay PUT for a while. lol. i'm SO glad i chose Barcelona. i'm SO glad I goto ESADE. hehe. it's mid march and it's MINISKIRT weather here in BCN. love love love. the plane ride from Munich to Barcelona was hilarious. I have no idea what happend but i swear we overshot Barcelona and went half way to Valencia. I think the pilot just decided it was amazing weather and everyone on the plane deserved a free tour of Barcelona and the south coast of Spain. for half an hour we just circled around the coastline. it was aweeeesome. i LOVE barcelona. I love passing by Gaudi's houses on my way home. I love walking past Chanel and Gucci and LV and Burberry as I rush to the bus that takes me straight home. I love the Spanish sun. and the blue blue skies and the beautiful beautiful colour of the ocean. sooooooo happy to be home. 7 days away was too long. and yes. I chose Barcelona so that I could be here for more than one weekend out of the seven that i've been in Europe for. LOL. looking forward to this week. Vienna was amazing. seeing Shirley was just fantaaaaaaastic =D. Budapest + Sternies was just love. felt sooooo like Beijing. lol. oh the memories. but now i'm back and i'm happier than ever that i'm back. SO looking forward to this weekend in the city. Totally up for a run to Park Guell and some sketching and just lying by the beach in the sun.
Barcelona isn't Beijing. it's not even Toronto. but it's where I am and I'm loving it all. =]
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