今天过得真得很开心。谢谢你。
施鹏走了。我突然开始有点想多伦多了。
So somehow. 2008 has come to an end. almost without me noticing.
属于中国，属于北京的这么一年就这么结束了。
Thinking back this year has been a complete blur.
I barely remember anything that happened before my arrival in bj. LOL.
I went around to my other blogs, looking for this end-yr-recap thing that I know I do every year, and apparently can't find it anywhere .o. *edit-found: see below*.
There goes my memory. lol. maybe i really should get some more sleep....
Or maybe I'm just getting old.
Each year used to seem so long when I was a kid.
but then again. i guess each yr still seems really long, esp since each yr is divided into 3 sections now =P.
first part of the yr / 2nd term of 2nd yr was a complete blur. 140% courseload might make life somewhat blurry. lol. all I remember, really, from that part of 2008, was the anticipation at new years, waiting to know exchange spots. and then the last week-ish of exam studying. =). but anyway. according to random bits and pieces of xanga i came across, i really enjoyed 2nd yr of university o.O.
my 2006 according to xanga.
[o1] clarification. lin bday. uni apps. first acceptance. idp presentations. congee king dinner + mix2
[o2] relapse. deca. " really don't treat u w/ enuff respect". 18. uni deadlines. vy gala. pho visits =)
[o3] dt harbourfront. ah gor's hot pot. voh prep. lovely packed march break -didn't rmb until reread. tin can mgmt. deca elections. voh. begin. daddie+brazil. ivey
[o4] AP calc angerrrrr. qc offer. "*stares*". queen's visit. chris. green quest. daddie leaves.
[o5] end. kyle ma's bday thing. mr. evst's tragedy. mcDs study dates. michael.
[o6] june rush hell. prom shopping. grad stuff. G2. ernest reunion. kelsey. wonderland's sun.
[o7] beijing. xi'an. chongqing. hk.
[o8] lijiang. qunming. shilin. chongqing. beijing. elementary school reunion. toronto.
[o9] pre-uni events. tears. surprise visits. frosh week. my own sunrise. enter mo.
[1o] gloomy kingston. car. midterms. shelly visit. csr.
[11] blackout. mindless school.
[12] finals. xmas.
Let's try my 2007.
... due to my boycott of xanga. review complemented by "contra"-xanga sources.
[o1] "life could be so beautiful". job apps. first thinkagain. full circle.
[o2] roots. midterms x2. realizations. homesickness. spring festival. 19. rewinded. apps contd.
[o3] ... boycott of xanga... o.O. pg apps. failures contd. tea room. reckless. pg offer.
[o4] BJR. stupidity contd. drama. explosion. exams. stauff club. 1st yr completed. move in.
[o5] PG begin. re-entrance. paper perfect. STILL. why?
[o6] wasaga x2. dallas. surprise dinner + aftershocks. video.
[o7] VY team extreme. still. relapses. vacation coverage madness. kingston wknd. grudge.
[o8] survival camp. hikes. CBDLT presentation. re-offer. reminisce. bark lake. CQ collapse.
[o9] 2nd yr + the love. shelly's 19 + sunrise. car-rides. goal-search. daisy.
[1o] karma. love for 2nd yr+fall contd. lists. midterms x3. decision.
[11] simple smiles. dreams. thksgiving. daisy visit. efforts. messiness. kj.
[12] finals. xmas. blue mountain. gibberish.
[ btw. looking back. i don't/barely rmb all this. it all feels like so long ago. but the memories that it does bring back is pretty amazing ]
2008.
[o1] ended. 7 courses. ww. karma. bats. truth. safety in hecticness. waiting.
[o2] exchg results. midterms x4. 2o. realizations. queen's cny. fireworks.
[o3] vy gala. politicize. grrr western media. vball.
[o4] utsc. ottawa protest. 7 exams. stauff. morrisons. u+u. kingston.
[o5] move out/in. PGx2. utsg. replay. exhaustion.
[o6] rewinded. lunches. dinners. bff. "not my life". rez drop-ins.
[o7] "n yrs later". vy. utsgx2. dirty dancing. summerlicious. bark lake.
[o8] o8o8o8. olympics > sleep. crammed goodbyes. BJ. live olympics!
[o9] cq. homeless. settling in. openning ceremony. simple happiness.
[1o] guilin. work. emails. webcam. bridge. shidu. friends. pyro.
[11] freedom. chill. simatai. attachment. datong. thksgiving. procrastinate.
[12] zjj-fh-sh. rainbow. firsts. whale wk. skating. cqx2. goodbyes.
this... took a very long time. but it was definitely worthwhile.
a lot of it was so blurred... and actually. the me 6 months ago feel like a different person.
a lot has happened. a lot has changed.
according to xanga. i had anticipated 2008 to be a defining yr.
i don't know abt that. but it has certainly been an amazing one.
thank YOU. for being a part of it all.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
uselessness.
as she sits at the same dinning table
as this man eating his breakfast.
the same man that taught her to read her name.
... and her first 50 Chinese characters.
the same man that got into a car accident picking her up.
the same man that just months ago,
... barely comprehensible, barely coherent
... reading with the help of a magnifying glass and thick glasses,
... flipping the thin pages with trembling, shaky hands,
... still trying to teach her "lun yu" (Analects of Confucious)
the same man that she flew 1500km to spend a weekend with
... originally hoping to celebrate his 85th.
... as she sits there watching.
they are silent.
... as she watches him fall asleep eating breakfast.
she can't think of anything to say.
... as he wakes up, and continues to eat
she struggles to formulate a sentence in her mind.
so she sits in silence.
and watch this man eat breakfast.
with all the love... and all the helplessness
of a favourite granddaughter
... hoping... against all hope.
that thru his glassy eyes.... despite multiple heart failures...
he does see her. happy. to see her
that he knows she's there. and can still feel her love.
as this man eating his breakfast.
the same man that taught her to read her name.
... and her first 50 Chinese characters.
the same man that got into a car accident picking her up.
the same man that just months ago,
... barely comprehensible, barely coherent
... reading with the help of a magnifying glass and thick glasses,
... flipping the thin pages with trembling, shaky hands,
... still trying to teach her "lun yu" (Analects of Confucious)
the same man that she flew 1500km to spend a weekend with
... originally hoping to celebrate his 85th.
... as she sits there watching.
they are silent.
... as she watches him fall asleep eating breakfast.
she can't think of anything to say.
... as he wakes up, and continues to eat
she struggles to formulate a sentence in her mind.
so she sits in silence.
and watch this man eat breakfast.
with all the love... and all the helplessness
of a favourite granddaughter
... hoping... against all hope.
that thru his glassy eyes.... despite multiple heart failures...
he does see her. happy. to see her
that he knows she's there. and can still feel her love.
stress talk.
yesterday - fsa essay due
this morning - fsa ppt due
8pm tonight - 5pg chinese analysis due
today - aunt bday - lunch & dinner celebrations
tonight - pick up grandpa from hospital
tmr 11am - flight back to beijing
tmr 4pm - arrival back around pku
tmr 8pm - 100% ibank exam
24th - fsa presentation
somewhere along the way.
i'll find time to copy notes and study.
i'll physically recover and not write exam w/ fever.
... i hate it when my body crashes on me.
i've got all the will to go on.
my body just likes to complain at the most inappropriate times.
somehow.
i'll pull thru.
cuz i'm supergirl. =]
this morning - fsa ppt due
8pm tonight - 5pg chinese analysis due
today - aunt bday - lunch & dinner celebrations
tonight - pick up grandpa from hospital
tmr 11am - flight back to beijing
tmr 4pm - arrival back around pku
tmr 8pm - 100% ibank exam
24th - fsa presentation
somewhere along the way.
i'll find time to copy notes and study.
i'll physically recover and not write exam w/ fever.
... i hate it when my body crashes on me.
i've got all the will to go on.
my body just likes to complain at the most inappropriate times.
somehow.
i'll pull thru.
cuz i'm supergirl. =]
Friday, December 19, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
love.
was on my way to go meet my grandparents and extended family on the opposite side of beijing by public transit when i managed to get lost trying to switch buses.
as i wandered my way further into lostness.... i stumbled my way into the back streets of beijing, one of those lil pockets that have yet to be dominated by modernity, expats, and internationalization, as the areas where i currently frequent all appear to have been.
the streets... the atmosphere of the surroundings. the sunshining down, the scattered bicyclists, the grey walls, the bright red doors and the shingled roofs.
i had no idea where i was. but the entire place screamed familiarity to me and waves of faded memories that i didn't know existed crashed through me like a train. the street name... and other signs around the area... i swear i don't know. but sound all so familiar.
this felt like a part of Beijing that had been preserved in time, untainted and still, quietly observing the rapid changes taking over the city and its people over the past couple of decades. People from all over China and the rest of the world have come to this city, taken away from it, added to it.... but still, this part of beijing, along with the locals that still reside in the siheyuaners they have lived in for generations, are just calmly going about their lives and sitting back and watching it all happen.
i read somewhere abt beijing people... how they are... inherently proud. born and bred beside the emperial palace, center of the Chinese universe. but they're not possessive and proud like the shanghainese. they are not bitter at the newcomers. they accept. they live and let live. in a way. the world around them is changing too fast to their traditional ways that they grew up in. and the familiar things are falling away, replaced by the newer and better. but still they live their lives with what they have. still walking the hutongs and greeting strangers in their friendly and almost familial tones...
i realized that.... this was the beijing that i saw from the back of my mom's bicycle. this is the beijing that i grew up in. this is the beijing i knew and love. .
this was my world.
.... i had no idea where i was. but this was my world. my love.
i could have wandered around forever =).
but unfortunately i was in a rush and un-lost myself after a couple of questions answered by locals on the street with that familiar accent, and in more friendly tones and details than I have encountered in Beijing all term.
finally go to the station i was looking for and got on my bus. turns out I was 2 stops away from my elementary school, and the bus actually passed my mom's hospital and then my school. I can't believe i havne't been back to visit yet... i can't believe how small it appears... lol... used to seem like such a huge fortress of mysteries with gods and goddesses that would determine my entire future. haha..... must go vist teacher asap.
heard real beijingnese for the first time in ages that afternoon.
i hadn't realized how much i had missed talking like this. my mandarin have become severely adapted to straight mandarin and even some twneseness. -_-". for shame.
i never realized how much was contained in an accent, a way of speaking. and how much that goes straight to the heart.
this is what i love most about beijing.
i realized that i would give up all the penthouses in the world to live in a siheyuaner.
all the busy streets and bright city lights for a narrow, crowded, old hutong.
原来这就是家的感觉.
这是另外一种爱的感觉.
是一种.... 没有理由, 没有道理, 执着的爱.
很傻. 但是我喜欢.
wanna go get lost with me again? =)
as i wandered my way further into lostness.... i stumbled my way into the back streets of beijing, one of those lil pockets that have yet to be dominated by modernity, expats, and internationalization, as the areas where i currently frequent all appear to have been.
the streets... the atmosphere of the surroundings. the sunshining down, the scattered bicyclists, the grey walls, the bright red doors and the shingled roofs.
i had no idea where i was. but the entire place screamed familiarity to me and waves of faded memories that i didn't know existed crashed through me like a train. the street name... and other signs around the area... i swear i don't know. but sound all so familiar.
this felt like a part of Beijing that had been preserved in time, untainted and still, quietly observing the rapid changes taking over the city and its people over the past couple of decades. People from all over China and the rest of the world have come to this city, taken away from it, added to it.... but still, this part of beijing, along with the locals that still reside in the siheyuaners they have lived in for generations, are just calmly going about their lives and sitting back and watching it all happen.
i read somewhere abt beijing people... how they are... inherently proud. born and bred beside the emperial palace, center of the Chinese universe. but they're not possessive and proud like the shanghainese. they are not bitter at the newcomers. they accept. they live and let live. in a way. the world around them is changing too fast to their traditional ways that they grew up in. and the familiar things are falling away, replaced by the newer and better. but still they live their lives with what they have. still walking the hutongs and greeting strangers in their friendly and almost familial tones...
i realized that.... this was the beijing that i saw from the back of my mom's bicycle. this is the beijing that i grew up in. this is the beijing i knew and love. .
this was my world.
.... i had no idea where i was. but this was my world. my love.
i could have wandered around forever =).
but unfortunately i was in a rush and un-lost myself after a couple of questions answered by locals on the street with that familiar accent, and in more friendly tones and details than I have encountered in Beijing all term.
finally go to the station i was looking for and got on my bus. turns out I was 2 stops away from my elementary school, and the bus actually passed my mom's hospital and then my school. I can't believe i havne't been back to visit yet... i can't believe how small it appears... lol... used to seem like such a huge fortress of mysteries with gods and goddesses that would determine my entire future. haha..... must go vist teacher asap.
heard real beijingnese for the first time in ages that afternoon.
i hadn't realized how much i had missed talking like this. my mandarin have become severely adapted to straight mandarin and even some twneseness. -_-". for shame.
i never realized how much was contained in an accent, a way of speaking. and how much that goes straight to the heart.
this is what i love most about beijing.
i realized that i would give up all the penthouses in the world to live in a siheyuaner.
all the busy streets and bright city lights for a narrow, crowded, old hutong.
原来这就是家的感觉.
这是另外一种爱的感觉.
是一种.... 没有理由, 没有道理, 执着的爱.
很傻. 但是我喜欢.
wanna go get lost with me again? =)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
jumboed thoughts. shades of the rainbow =P.
I appear to be having trouble formulating proper English sentences and paragraphs lately. so... to save most people from attempting to understand Chinese, this random clusters of thoughts will have to do for now. (edit: can skip right to #7. new revelation =D)
1. it's good to be home.
complete with my overflowing room, the temperamental hot water, the pretend-to-be-heating heating, the five flights of stairs, etc etc.... it's good to be back. =).
home is cozy and housemates are sweet. (and one of them just made me dessert =D)
2. kingston transposed to beijing.
does that even make sense? so happy that will is here. was so excited all the way to the airport today and then seeing him standing in the middle of nowhere was just. lmao. happy =D. in a way tho. it feels as if the past 4 months didn't actually happen, or like... nothing has changed. picked up right where we left off. for me anyway. it's nice =D. looking forward to an amazing next 6 days =P.
3. it's weird how often i forget / allow myself to not believe that i matter. lmao. so lil surprises here and there that remind me r... simply amazing. somehow i am able to believe that after 2.5 yrs of being together almost everyday that if i were to disappear he wouldn't notice. and am still surprised when he calls and reluctantly admits that he almost misses me. lol. and in previous post when i mentioned that there's barely anyone around for xmas.... somehow i neglected to realize that all the most important ppl in my life at this pt are actually all still here o.O. seriously tho? i have the best friends in the world and whether it's a txt, an email, a wall post, a skype conversation.... really makes all the difference in the world.
yet somehow... even with all this. sometimes i still forget i have friends o.O. wtf o.O.?
4. i said last time that maybe i am living my life in search of diff feelings and experiences.
i realize today that there's more. no idea what.
still chasing. still searching. still blindly grasping on to anything that feels real.
wow that last part came out by itself.
so.... is that what i'm searching for? something real? o.O. ... if so.. then what does that make everything i'm living thru now?
5. beijing stars r so pretty. seriously. hoping for a blue day tmr. past week-ish have been not so blue and beijing was having a couple of its gray days in preparation for the first snow fall today. (btw. SNOW today =D. tho it failed to accumulate to any thing... but it snowwed!!!! =D.).... weather is seriously affecting me. needing a pretty and blue day to get me out of this temporary drop. or maybe it's the lack of clubbing. totally should've ditched that mtg last night and gone salsa. gosh. k. starting tmr night. every single night. =D i look forward to this.
6. maybe i'm just lacking sleep. =P. gd night =)
7. edit.
"control ur emotions". u've been telling me this all day. and all day i've been like. i don't want to. so suddenly. thinking. i don't believe in this. i don't want to live life in ur blacks and whites and grays. i want to live in my rainbow spectrum of everything in between. i think that if someone lives life trying to protect themselves from getting hurt. life then loses meaning and fade. life wasn't meant to be simple. maybe that's y i've been feeling the way i've been feeling. so suddenly. it's okay =D. this is how life was supposed to be. if i was seriously that happy everyday in beijing i'd question my sanity. lol. so yes. new revelation. no. i will not control my emotions. i think this is y we're different. like i said last post. maybe i collect different kinds of feelings and emotions for a living. so yes. suddenly it's okay. i WILL go out there and be fine with making a fool out of myself if i'm happy. just like how u guys were all so against my "winter gear" today. LOL. i had so much fun. laughing at the ppl that were laughing at me. that's fine. so yes. past lil while i've been trying to do some kind of damage ctrl. some kind of protectionist measures to make sure that all these nothings and all these distractions remain just that and even the new friendships that have been established here i don't become dependent on... soo.... maybe another reason to pull myself away from beijing and other things may have been to make sure that i don't get attached and then be hurt again when the separation comes very soon.
i suddenly realize that it's these protectionist measures that have made me somewhat strange lately o.O. so yes. w/e.
i want to live my life in rainbows =D.
so i'll take the downs with the highs. =D. i'm fine with crashing and falling. who cares.
it's a small price to pay for the happy/funny/random/weird/outrageous moments that make life worth living.
so whatever.
starting now. no fear. no regret. living purely for the moment. whatever makes me happy. at this pt in time. that's all it matters. =D
(... i started out like this. o.O. what happened that made me stop? o.O. lol. can't rmb and don't care enough to figure out. pt is. thanks for the reminder =D)
1. it's good to be home.
complete with my overflowing room, the temperamental hot water, the pretend-to-be-heating heating, the five flights of stairs, etc etc.... it's good to be back. =).
home is cozy and housemates are sweet. (and one of them just made me dessert =D)
2. kingston transposed to beijing.
does that even make sense? so happy that will is here. was so excited all the way to the airport today and then seeing him standing in the middle of nowhere was just. lmao. happy =D. in a way tho. it feels as if the past 4 months didn't actually happen, or like... nothing has changed. picked up right where we left off. for me anyway. it's nice =D. looking forward to an amazing next 6 days =P.
3. it's weird how often i forget / allow myself to not believe that i matter. lmao. so lil surprises here and there that remind me r... simply amazing. somehow i am able to believe that after 2.5 yrs of being together almost everyday that if i were to disappear he wouldn't notice. and am still surprised when he calls and reluctantly admits that he almost misses me. lol. and in previous post when i mentioned that there's barely anyone around for xmas.... somehow i neglected to realize that all the most important ppl in my life at this pt are actually all still here o.O. seriously tho? i have the best friends in the world and whether it's a txt, an email, a wall post, a skype conversation.... really makes all the difference in the world.
yet somehow... even with all this. sometimes i still forget i have friends o.O. wtf o.O.?
4. i said last time that maybe i am living my life in search of diff feelings and experiences.
i realize today that there's more. no idea what.
still chasing. still searching. still blindly grasping on to anything that feels real.
wow that last part came out by itself.
so.... is that what i'm searching for? something real? o.O. ... if so.. then what does that make everything i'm living thru now?
5. beijing stars r so pretty. seriously. hoping for a blue day tmr. past week-ish have been not so blue and beijing was having a couple of its gray days in preparation for the first snow fall today. (btw. SNOW today =D. tho it failed to accumulate to any thing... but it snowwed!!!! =D.).... weather is seriously affecting me. needing a pretty and blue day to get me out of this temporary drop. or maybe it's the lack of clubbing. totally should've ditched that mtg last night and gone salsa. gosh. k. starting tmr night. every single night. =D i look forward to this.
6. maybe i'm just lacking sleep. =P. gd night =)
7. edit.
"control ur emotions". u've been telling me this all day. and all day i've been like. i don't want to. so suddenly. thinking. i don't believe in this. i don't want to live life in ur blacks and whites and grays. i want to live in my rainbow spectrum of everything in between. i think that if someone lives life trying to protect themselves from getting hurt. life then loses meaning and fade. life wasn't meant to be simple. maybe that's y i've been feeling the way i've been feeling. so suddenly. it's okay =D. this is how life was supposed to be. if i was seriously that happy everyday in beijing i'd question my sanity. lol. so yes. new revelation. no. i will not control my emotions. i think this is y we're different. like i said last post. maybe i collect different kinds of feelings and emotions for a living. so yes. suddenly it's okay. i WILL go out there and be fine with making a fool out of myself if i'm happy. just like how u guys were all so against my "winter gear" today. LOL. i had so much fun. laughing at the ppl that were laughing at me. that's fine. so yes. past lil while i've been trying to do some kind of damage ctrl. some kind of protectionist measures to make sure that all these nothings and all these distractions remain just that and even the new friendships that have been established here i don't become dependent on... soo.... maybe another reason to pull myself away from beijing and other things may have been to make sure that i don't get attached and then be hurt again when the separation comes very soon.
i suddenly realize that it's these protectionist measures that have made me somewhat strange lately o.O. so yes. w/e.
i want to live my life in rainbows =D.
so i'll take the downs with the highs. =D. i'm fine with crashing and falling. who cares.
it's a small price to pay for the happy/funny/random/weird/outrageous moments that make life worth living.
so whatever.
starting now. no fear. no regret. living purely for the moment. whatever makes me happy. at this pt in time. that's all it matters. =D
(... i started out like this. o.O. what happened that made me stop? o.O. lol. can't rmb and don't care enough to figure out. pt is. thanks for the reminder =D)
Sunday, December 7, 2008
feeling.
我今天突然发现。。。
原来，我一直在寻找感觉。
也许我是一个收藏家。
不停的想去经验一些不同的感觉，然后把他们都一一收藏起来。
嗯。经历过了，感受过了，收起来了。
早上。车子在上海的高速路上飞着。
太阳懒洋洋的透过车窗晒着，耳机放着"稻香"。。。
突然flashback。想起小时候北京的家里。
周末也是这样的太阳，懒洋洋的晒着，爸爸妈妈陪着哄着。
想起来曾经窗外一直有一只啄木鸟，经常把我们吵起来。
我曾经好喜欢周末的早上。
那是一家人简简单单的小幸福。
晚上，漫步在大大上海的街上。
上海的Christmas气氛好浓啊。。。
到处的彩灯挂着，人们提着大大小小的购物袋。
手捧着Starbucks的咖啡，怀念着CoGro/Tea Room/Kingston的London Fog.
路过一颗又一颗亮晶晶的圣诞树。。。
尽情的感受着一个人的孤独。
手机响了。一连串的短信。
朋友的"问候"，很温暖，笑了。
但却还是赶不走我在寻找的感觉。
夜了，坐在窗边看着外面的灯和车。
抱着电脑想搜索到什么update, 陪我一下就好。
这两天。不知道为什么。
在允许自己想念。
有些话说出来对谁都没有好处。
所以我突然变得很安静。
我知道。
在北京的时间不多了。
身边几个很好的朋友也很快要走了。
我这时候不应该一个人在外面瞎疯。
应该在北京。珍惜每一分每一秒。
也许只是面对不了这种现实。
也许只是不想被留下来，所以我走。
上海让我发现Christmas真的快到了。
在北京几乎感受不到的气氛上海满街都是。
我执着着非得回北京过圣诞。
却发现好像没有几个人还会在北京了。
不敢祈求北京会有White Christmas，
从小也没信过Santa Claus的存在.
但是心底的愿望还是希望可以成真。
爷爷奶奶回北京了。
我离开的那天他们回来的。
原来，我一直在寻找感觉。
也许我是一个收藏家。
不停的想去经验一些不同的感觉，然后把他们都一一收藏起来。
嗯。经历过了，感受过了，收起来了。
早上。车子在上海的高速路上飞着。
太阳懒洋洋的透过车窗晒着，耳机放着"稻香"。。。
突然flashback。想起小时候北京的家里。
周末也是这样的太阳，懒洋洋的晒着，爸爸妈妈陪着哄着。
想起来曾经窗外一直有一只啄木鸟，经常把我们吵起来。
我曾经好喜欢周末的早上。
那是一家人简简单单的小幸福。
晚上，漫步在大大上海的街上。
上海的Christmas气氛好浓啊。。。
到处的彩灯挂着，人们提着大大小小的购物袋。
手捧着Starbucks的咖啡，怀念着CoGro/Tea Room/Kingston的London Fog.
路过一颗又一颗亮晶晶的圣诞树。。。
尽情的感受着一个人的孤独。
手机响了。一连串的短信。
朋友的"问候"，很温暖，笑了。
但却还是赶不走我在寻找的感觉。
夜了，坐在窗边看着外面的灯和车。
抱着电脑想搜索到什么update, 陪我一下就好。
这两天。不知道为什么。
在允许自己想念。
有些话说出来对谁都没有好处。
所以我突然变得很安静。
我知道。
在北京的时间不多了。
身边几个很好的朋友也很快要走了。
我这时候不应该一个人在外面瞎疯。
应该在北京。珍惜每一分每一秒。
也许只是面对不了这种现实。
也许只是不想被留下来，所以我走。
上海让我发现Christmas真的快到了。
在北京几乎感受不到的气氛上海满街都是。
我执着着非得回北京过圣诞。
却发现好像没有几个人还会在北京了。
不敢祈求北京会有White Christmas，
从小也没信过Santa Claus的存在.
但是心底的愿望还是希望可以成真。
爷爷奶奶回北京了。
我离开的那天他们回来的。
Saturday, December 6, 2008
2am in Shanghai.
life w/o internet is different.
getting back internet after abt 5 days w/o internet is... strange.
surprisingly... didn't miss it too much.
wanted the solidarity. was looking forward to getting away.
not sure what i mean to say.
it's 2am.
i'm in shanghai.
family is difficult.
there's a lot i want to say.
there's a lot i want to write about this trip.
but in the meantime.
...
family is difficult.
and also.
all the words in the world.
sometimes, however...
s i l e n c e .
says more than words ever could.
and i get it.
=)
.
getting back internet after abt 5 days w/o internet is... strange.
surprisingly... didn't miss it too much.
wanted the solidarity. was looking forward to getting away.
not sure what i mean to say.
it's 2am.
i'm in shanghai.
family is difficult.
there's a lot i want to say.
there's a lot i want to write about this trip.
but in the meantime.
...
family is difficult.
and also.
all the words in the world.
sometimes, however...
s i l e n c e .
says more than words ever could.
and i get it.
=)
.
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