despite everything.
i'm still grateful that i've got u in my life.
despite everything.
thk u.
Monday, May 25, 2009
happy days.
i wonder if i blog more about happy days or the less happy days.
today was one where.
simply nothing went right.
lol. ironic title eh?
... i still say places change people.
toronto makes me needy and reminiscent and grrr.
wo xiang ni le. bu ke jiu yao de xiang ni le.
ke xi . lian wo dou bu zhi dao ni shi shui.
zen me xiang?
xiang ni you you shen me yong.
ni you bu hui ma shang chu xian zai wo shen bian.
jiu suan chu xian le you zen me yang?
wo hai shi wo. ni hai shi ni.
wo zi ji de wen ti zhi you wo zi ji neng jie jue.
ni bu shi wo de superman.
another thk u for the best present ever. really.
"to be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest."
... thk u.
today was dark. and the city lights stole the brightness from the stars.
but tmr will be a better day.
.
today was one where.
simply nothing went right.
lol. ironic title eh?
... i still say places change people.
toronto makes me needy and reminiscent and grrr.
wo xiang ni le. bu ke jiu yao de xiang ni le.
ke xi . lian wo dou bu zhi dao ni shi shui.
zen me xiang?
xiang ni you you shen me yong.
ni you bu hui ma shang chu xian zai wo shen bian.
jiu suan chu xian le you zen me yang?
wo hai shi wo. ni hai shi ni.
wo zi ji de wen ti zhi you wo zi ji neng jie jue.
ni bu shi wo de superman.
another thk u for the best present ever. really.
"to be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest."
... thk u.
today was dark. and the city lights stole the brightness from the stars.
but tmr will be a better day.
.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
and i rmb.
i drove for the first time in over 9 months today.
missed driving so much in beijing.
but then was traumatized from our roadtrip in Europe.
so was scared to drive ever again. lol. but drove today. and man it was amazing.
... driving down the most familiar route, back to the most familiar neighbourhood.
it's amazing to be in an area where i know where people live.
where i know what's at every turn and every corner.
to go back to that mcDz that we watched getting built.
to pick up people like old times.
... it's funny. we were talking today.
about how the past 4 or 5 years of my life is a massive blur where i rmb next to nothing.
even beijing... i barely remember. except for the big things. o.O. i don't rmb much.
yet... i remember that year. those couple of years.
i remember us. i remember everything about that neighbourhood.
i remember everything that transpired there.
there are moments that are as vivid as if they happened just yesterday.
i still remember every word. every ...
funny eh? =P. i love/hate that area =).
it makes me go back to being someone who no longer exists. lol.
and driving home, back down the most familiar roads.
突然发现，原来疯狂的忙碌，与车里震耳欲聋的音乐，都一样。
其实都只是麻醉药而已。
.
missed driving so much in beijing.
but then was traumatized from our roadtrip in Europe.
so was scared to drive ever again. lol. but drove today. and man it was amazing.
... driving down the most familiar route, back to the most familiar neighbourhood.
it's amazing to be in an area where i know where people live.
where i know what's at every turn and every corner.
to go back to that mcDz that we watched getting built.
to pick up people like old times.
... it's funny. we were talking today.
about how the past 4 or 5 years of my life is a massive blur where i rmb next to nothing.
even beijing... i barely remember. except for the big things. o.O. i don't rmb much.
yet... i remember that year. those couple of years.
i remember us. i remember everything about that neighbourhood.
i remember everything that transpired there.
there are moments that are as vivid as if they happened just yesterday.
i still remember every word. every ...
funny eh? =P. i love/hate that area =).
it makes me go back to being someone who no longer exists. lol.
and driving home, back down the most familiar roads.
突然发现，原来疯狂的忙碌，与车里震耳欲聋的音乐，都一样。
其实都只是麻醉药而已。
.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
make belief.
i enjoy walking home at 11pm along bloor.
the lights twinkle and the window displays of luxury brand stores are brighter than ever.
it's a different scene out there. people are different and the atmosphere is... let's call it... lively. not the busy bustle of the day when people in suits are rushing around and cars are gridlocked. but a free-er, a quite kind of excitement.
i like giving stories to the people i see on the street.
- wonder where that asian/white girl is headed (couldn't tell under make up), with dainty gold stilettos, silver tights, green top, red purse and cornrows in her hair.
- a couple in full wedding attire, except for the groom's jacket over the bride's flowing white dress. in tow are a photographer struggling with flashes and a woman with a large (presumably) make up case - wonder how they met... wonder how their wedding will look...
- oh and her. the girl walking into my apartment building, professional look, but more fashionable, perfect make up, perfect body, again, stilettos, struggling for her keys while holding onto a pile of dresses in semi-transparent garment bags... hehe. the devil wears prada much? =P.
... so yes. i enjoy nights. i enjoy downtown. i enjoy people.
list of things that made me genuinely happy today.
- productivity
- email from ex-fellow-pg-intern. did not realize how much i had missed them.
- war of "1810" - a "tina" moment... except not by tina. =P =D.
- Sunday date =]
... man i swear there was more but i just can't remember right now anymore - lesson learned. record down happy things fast. we tend to forget them too soon.
the lights twinkle and the window displays of luxury brand stores are brighter than ever.
it's a different scene out there. people are different and the atmosphere is... let's call it... lively. not the busy bustle of the day when people in suits are rushing around and cars are gridlocked. but a free-er, a quite kind of excitement.
i like giving stories to the people i see on the street.
- wonder where that asian/white girl is headed (couldn't tell under make up), with dainty gold stilettos, silver tights, green top, red purse and cornrows in her hair.
- a couple in full wedding attire, except for the groom's jacket over the bride's flowing white dress. in tow are a photographer struggling with flashes and a woman with a large (presumably) make up case - wonder how they met... wonder how their wedding will look...
- oh and her. the girl walking into my apartment building, professional look, but more fashionable, perfect make up, perfect body, again, stilettos, struggling for her keys while holding onto a pile of dresses in semi-transparent garment bags... hehe. the devil wears prada much? =P.
... so yes. i enjoy nights. i enjoy downtown. i enjoy people.
list of things that made me genuinely happy today.
- productivity
- email from ex-fellow-pg-intern. did not realize how much i had missed them.
- war of "1810" - a "tina" moment... except not by tina. =P =D.
- Sunday date =]
... man i swear there was more but i just can't remember right now anymore - lesson learned. record down happy things fast. we tend to forget them too soon.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
learnings.
a few notes before i begin my night of case writing and then hopefully officially finish my term at ESADE and manage to get a couple minutes of sleep in before i goto work tomorrow.
1. city night scape is so beautiful. i am a city girl afterall.
2. but then again. can't see stars in the city and we all know how much i love that.
3. so many contradictory is all i am once again.
4. i have decided to go scout out a new route home from u of t. e.g. not walk on st. george starting thursday.
5. ANAT100 is hard as hell and i'm going to fail.
6. Though next time. i should actually read the material at least once before taking the test. -_-"
7. As a guilty pleasure and 1 hr of relaxation after a long day. Gossip Girl is SO much better than Greys.
8. i should REALLY stop watching Grey's. this show actually destroys me.
i believe this is all for today.
now. case. grrr.
1. city night scape is so beautiful. i am a city girl afterall.
2. but then again. can't see stars in the city and we all know how much i love that.
3. so many contradictory is all i am once again.
4. i have decided to go scout out a new route home from u of t. e.g. not walk on st. george starting thursday.
5. ANAT100 is hard as hell and i'm going to fail.
6. Though next time. i should actually read the material at least once before taking the test. -_-"
7. As a guilty pleasure and 1 hr of relaxation after a long day. Gossip Girl is SO much better than Greys.
8. i should REALLY stop watching Grey's. this show actually destroys me.
i believe this is all for today.
now. case. grrr.
Monday, May 18, 2009
note to self.
please learn to prioritize.
it doesn't matter what u're good at or what u enjoy learning.
with limited time. u need to make decisions.
Only HIST and ANAT account towards GPA
ESADE, FAH are pass/fail.
please allocate time accordingly.
....
why would anyone do this to themselves? why?
it doesn't matter what u're good at or what u enjoy learning.
with limited time. u need to make decisions.
Only HIST and ANAT account towards GPA
ESADE, FAH are pass/fail.
please allocate time accordingly.
....
why would anyone do this to themselves? why?
silence is golden.
“Be silent unless what you
Say is better than silence.”
came across this on someone's blog.
it's funny how i totally don't follow that.
and the world knows when i'm trying to procrastinate/trying really hard to actually do some work.
cuz the sudden outpour of mental diarrhea clogs up this blog.
man this stupid case that i gotta write. grrr.
but yes. i believe different places, different environments, with different people... makes me a different person. or drags me back to being someone i once was. more on this later. but yeah. w/ ff. sometimes i think silence is a luxury. cuz everyone waits for me to say something stupid cuz i talk to fill in the silence. and half the time i don't pay attn to what i'm actually saying. o.O.
can't think.
just...
another case of an infidel male.
and it makes me wonder how i ever expected to trust.
Say is better than silence.”
came across this on someone's blog.
it's funny how i totally don't follow that.
and the world knows when i'm trying to procrastinate/trying really hard to actually do some work.
cuz the sudden outpour of mental diarrhea clogs up this blog.
man this stupid case that i gotta write. grrr.
but yes. i believe different places, different environments, with different people... makes me a different person. or drags me back to being someone i once was. more on this later. but yeah. w/ ff. sometimes i think silence is a luxury. cuz everyone waits for me to say something stupid cuz i talk to fill in the silence. and half the time i don't pay attn to what i'm actually saying. o.O.
can't think.
just...
another case of an infidel male.
and it makes me wonder how i ever expected to trust.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
wants it all.
grr.
there's something to be said for greediness -_-".
also something called - "learning from past mistakes".
mannnn.
i can remember SO many times where i'd be trying to push my way thru a pile of deadlines and i'd promise promise myself that this is the last time i'd do this to myself.
and next wknd? it's right back to another pile of extracurriculars that i claim that make life worth living.
and every once i a lil while. i get maybe one day of nothingness... and something will come along and remind me why i had made myself so friking occupied.
to be quite honest. it's been extremely effective. and rather productive. =)
but MAN my body is craving for a break.
my brain literally can't hang on to another data point or building name. lol.
let's work this list down. i can DO this.
... promising self. yet again.
after this summer. no more. i swear.
.
there's something to be said for greediness -_-".
also something called - "learning from past mistakes".
mannnn.
i can remember SO many times where i'd be trying to push my way thru a pile of deadlines and i'd promise promise myself that this is the last time i'd do this to myself.
and next wknd? it's right back to another pile of extracurriculars that i claim that make life worth living.
and every once i a lil while. i get maybe one day of nothingness... and something will come along and remind me why i had made myself so friking occupied.
to be quite honest. it's been extremely effective. and rather productive. =)
but MAN my body is craving for a break.
my brain literally can't hang on to another data point or building name. lol.
let's work this list down. i can DO this.
... promising self. yet again.
after this summer. no more. i swear.
.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
it's good to be back.
i have no memory these days.
last night vee joked that i should re-read diaries.
so i actually did o.O LOL. re-read second year.
all i can say is... o.m.g. lol.
man i don't remember HALF the stuff that happened.
but... *shrugs*. i don't know.
read a book today. there was a line in it i liked.
“人失去记忆之后，是不会变成另一个人的，只是想不起来以往而已。”
so with this i agree.
on another note.
was so happy last night. =D
man it's been so long but it's sooooo good.
i'm so happy i've got friends in my life =]
def gotta meet up more often. =D
these ppl mean half the world to me and i am oh so grateful. SO grateful that they're still here after we've been thru. sometimes i think i forget. and then we meet up and i am reminded of how amazing it all could be.
.... so things turned out a lil differently from what we had planned for them to.
.... but it was a dream that we had dreamt together.
and... lol... i know that no matter where life takes me... or how i appear to change to the rest of the world. in their eyes. i'd still be that girl. or actually... more like the idiot child of the group. LOL. =P. it's allllll good. =) love.
and. never got around to it.
but OMG so grateful for the most thoughtful gift i have ever received in my entire life.
no seriously. i sat there thinking for a long time, about something else that could trump this, and came up with nothing (but then again i really have no memory these days so forgive me and remind me if there are). it doesn't matter that it took five months to actually get to me. simply the idea and the thought of it .... t h a n k y o u . really.
every single one of you. it means more than words can say.
and i'm glad there's still a lot of room left.
more space for more memories to be added =D.
we've got the rest of our lives. cuz i'm never letting you guys go. =)
ff. for life. we promised.
and final note.
last night when i came home.
i suddenly realized. i'm SO happy that they're happy.
i'm SO happy that he's happy. gosh. SO happy.
cuz that tells me.
if they are happy. then that must mean there's something better out there.
if he's happy with her. then they must be really good and it's still possible.
haha.
so there's still hope for the rest of us =).
last night vee joked that i should re-read diaries.
so i actually did o.O LOL. re-read second year.
all i can say is... o.m.g. lol.
man i don't remember HALF the stuff that happened.
but... *shrugs*. i don't know.
read a book today. there was a line in it i liked.
“人失去记忆之后，是不会变成另一个人的，只是想不起来以往而已。”
so with this i agree.
on another note.
was so happy last night. =D
man it's been so long but it's sooooo good.
i'm so happy i've got friends in my life =]
def gotta meet up more often. =D
these ppl mean half the world to me and i am oh so grateful. SO grateful that they're still here after we've been thru. sometimes i think i forget. and then we meet up and i am reminded of how amazing it all could be.
.... so things turned out a lil differently from what we had planned for them to.
.... but it was a dream that we had dreamt together.
and... lol... i know that no matter where life takes me... or how i appear to change to the rest of the world. in their eyes. i'd still be that girl. or actually... more like the idiot child of the group. LOL. =P. it's allllll good. =) love.
and. never got around to it.
but OMG so grateful for the most thoughtful gift i have ever received in my entire life.
no seriously. i sat there thinking for a long time, about something else that could trump this, and came up with nothing (but then again i really have no memory these days so forgive me and remind me if there are). it doesn't matter that it took five months to actually get to me. simply the idea and the thought of it .... t h a n k y o u . really.
every single one of you. it means more than words can say.
and i'm glad there's still a lot of room left.
more space for more memories to be added =D.
we've got the rest of our lives. cuz i'm never letting you guys go. =)
ff. for life. we promised.
and final note.
last night when i came home.
i suddenly realized. i'm SO happy that they're happy.
i'm SO happy that he's happy. gosh. SO happy.
cuz that tells me.
if they are happy. then that must mean there's something better out there.
if he's happy with her. then they must be really good and it's still possible.
haha.
so there's still hope for the rest of us =).
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
better in time.
don't know where the title came from. it just popped into my head.
day 2 of work was better than day 1. less overwhelmed, better adjusted, less jetlagged, and better rested....
newsflash - taking 2.5 credits in 4 months is equivalent to taking a full course load in a regular school year.
how did i not realize this before? o.O
it wasn't until a friend reminded me that i realized this last night.
... *sigh. i need to pull it together. i can do it. discipline. that's all.
on a lighter note.
the continuation of my entertaining life =P
modern architecture class at u of t after work... this guy sitting 3 rows in front of me. hot hair and hot piercing. basically, from where i was sitting, hot hot hot. then class ends. he stands up and turns around, and tina's bubble pops again. *sad. asian guys should grow taller, and guys with hot hair should be hot too. *sigh. oh reality =P
and. i heart dt toronto. i really do.
more on this at a later time =)
day 2 of work was better than day 1. less overwhelmed, better adjusted, less jetlagged, and better rested....
newsflash - taking 2.5 credits in 4 months is equivalent to taking a full course load in a regular school year.
how did i not realize this before? o.O
it wasn't until a friend reminded me that i realized this last night.
... *sigh. i need to pull it together. i can do it. discipline. that's all.
on a lighter note.
the continuation of my entertaining life =P
modern architecture class at u of t after work... this guy sitting 3 rows in front of me. hot hair and hot piercing. basically, from where i was sitting, hot hot hot. then class ends. he stands up and turns around, and tina's bubble pops again. *sad. asian guys should grow taller, and guys with hot hair should be hot too. *sigh. oh reality =P
and. i heart dt toronto. i really do.
more on this at a later time =)
Monday, May 11, 2009
reality is grrrr.
may 15 - Queen's HIST Assignment 1 Due
may 18 - ESADE Marketing Case Due
may 19 - Queen's ANAT Test 1
may 20 - U of T ARTH Quiz
may 22 - Work - Creative Brief due
........
.......
u know.... when i was planning out this summer... it looked like it could work out? like.. i mean. i was sure i could handle it. it'd be hard... but it'd be okay.
after day 1? ... i'm already at the brink. work looks like it's going to be amazing... but at the same time.... extremely demanding.
.... i somehow already have over 200 pages of reading that I am behind on.
how did this happen?
... grrr.
on a better note -
happiest thing that happened today: hot asian boy in my art history class.
saddest thing that happened today: 1.5 hours later, noticed ring on finger. grrr.
may 18 - ESADE Marketing Case Due
may 19 - Queen's ANAT Test 1
may 20 - U of T ARTH Quiz
may 22 - Work - Creative Brief due
........
.......
u know.... when i was planning out this summer... it looked like it could work out? like.. i mean. i was sure i could handle it. it'd be hard... but it'd be okay.
after day 1? ... i'm already at the brink. work looks like it's going to be amazing... but at the same time.... extremely demanding.
.... i somehow already have over 200 pages of reading that I am behind on.
how did this happen?
... grrr.
on a better note -
happiest thing that happened today: hot asian boy in my art history class.
saddest thing that happened today: 1.5 hours later, noticed ring on finger. grrr.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
HOME.
after 9 long months... i am home in Toronto.
oh. em. gee. o.O.
somehow it almost feels surreal.
there's something to be said about familiarity.
boarding the plane was the first shock of it.
DIVERSITY. an overwhelming amount of it that i was taken aback.
i heart canadians. gosh. 3 months in Europe has taught me the importance of diversity. and how much i had taken it for granted previously. =.=
in someways... it almost feels as though i had never left. o.O
i mean. it's Toronto afterall. the city just feels rather.... empty and deserted after the crowded cities and streets of China and Europe. =T.
but man. being physically inside my house was a whole other deal.
it's like... re-learning something that was familiar forever ago.
to be fair. i haven't actually lived lived in this place for close to two full years.
between kingston and moving out for work in the summers and the last 9 months... yeah.. i don't actually live here... lol. it's funny being a stranger in your own room. got home an hour ago, have just been looking around my ridiculously huge room and my CRAZY closet... (which i really really really did miss).. and trying to re-learn it all. try to figure out what was here... it's just... very strange. i have so far discovered that i have a LOT of stuff. lol. i have about 5 sets of stuff. one set for kingston, one for home, one for Toronto summer rental, one from China and one from Europe. i have a ridiculous amount of stuff. =T
.. lol. i will now go enjoy my 72" TV and get reacquainted w/ my babie grand.
and learn to speak english properly again o.O
(just got off the phone w/ tiff and my english is not.... coherent. LOL)
oh. em. gee. o.O.
somehow it almost feels surreal.
there's something to be said about familiarity.
boarding the plane was the first shock of it.
DIVERSITY. an overwhelming amount of it that i was taken aback.
i heart canadians. gosh. 3 months in Europe has taught me the importance of diversity. and how much i had taken it for granted previously. =.=
in someways... it almost feels as though i had never left. o.O
i mean. it's Toronto afterall. the city just feels rather.... empty and deserted after the crowded cities and streets of China and Europe. =T.
but man. being physically inside my house was a whole other deal.
it's like... re-learning something that was familiar forever ago.
to be fair. i haven't actually lived lived in this place for close to two full years.
between kingston and moving out for work in the summers and the last 9 months... yeah.. i don't actually live here... lol. it's funny being a stranger in your own room. got home an hour ago, have just been looking around my ridiculously huge room and my CRAZY closet... (which i really really really did miss).. and trying to re-learn it all. try to figure out what was here... it's just... very strange. i have so far discovered that i have a LOT of stuff. lol. i have about 5 sets of stuff. one set for kingston, one for home, one for Toronto summer rental, one from China and one from Europe. i have a ridiculous amount of stuff. =T
.. lol. i will now go enjoy my 72" TV and get reacquainted w/ my babie grand.
and learn to speak english properly again o.O
(just got off the phone w/ tiff and my english is not.... coherent. LOL)
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