Facebook is a strange thing.
It kind of freezes time in a weird kind of way.
I guess the creators of facebook never thought about the accounts of people that pass away... that after they pass away.. there's no one else that knows their password... they can't delete or remove the account... or indicate on it somehow that that person is no longer with us.
maybe it's a good thing... in a way, it reminds us of them, it keeps them at that moment in their lives, it becomes a place where people can mourn and share and remember.
Tomorrow Andrius will have passed away for a month.
Somehow time seems weird. It feels like forever since it has happened... yet it's like yesterday that we were still in Beijing, chilling and travelling and hanging out.
He was the last person to message me as I was leaving Beijing to goto Chongqing, inviting me to dinner to catch up. I am so sorry for not being able to make it... ... sigh.
....
funny how facebook has helped me get to know him even better after the fact.
It just amazes me how many different people from around the world he has met and had so many wonderful memories with. how many people he has touched in his life.
Everyone speaks about how positive, how open, and in general, how great of a person he was.
It still shocks me to no end that... he would be one to choose such an ending.
It bothers me that.... we could have been there...
his family is still searching for reasons... ........
gah. i need to stop. 2 more exams and one more 12 page paper. i need to do this. i need to focus.
it's just... crazy how much this has affected me and it bothers me that no one else seems to be as affected as i am and there's no one to talk to about it and i realize i am overly sensitive and i over react and he would laugh at me if he knew i was acting like this. I was watching YouTube the other day, Kangxilaile, and S was talking about a friend who had passed away, and she would force herself to keep talking about him rather than avoiding touching on that memory because she believes that, that way, they'll know that they haven't forgotten them, and in their memory he lives on. I don't know. =T.
aagh. omg. i need to stop. I don't even understand why I react so ... agh. need to study. need to focus. exam in not that many hours. ahhhh. Gosh Andrius... so mad at you for making me like this. GRRR. happy memories. happy thoughts. GOSH tina. FOCUS. go study. 2 more daysssss. just power through them. grrrrrrrrrr.
.... man i need to grow up.
.
rest in peace Andrius.
we miss you.
take care.
.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
photo blog - chef tee - part 2 =)
So there are days that procrastination brings wonderful things.
sometimes i seriously think i'm supergirl. really!
I am capable of AMAZING things when procrastinating.
... as long as you don't make me go do my work =)
hehe. taste of asia in barcelona =P.
bought the tapioca rice a lot earlier when i first arrived to make myself happie. and was planning on saving it for a rainy day. and kinda forgot all about it. Shirley being here made me remember =D.
.. and this was... Paella, a typical spanish dish... but tee-styled. LOL. i added bits and pieces of random things i found in my kitchen. it was yummilicious =)
and no. i wasn't lazy. u actually eat it straight from the pan. that's the right way to do it =]
that's all for now. maybe i'll make something cool for dinner too =D.
mannnn i'm so screwed for exams? o.O
sometimes i seriously think i'm supergirl. really!
I am capable of AMAZING things when procrastinating.
... as long as you don't make me go do my work =)
hehe. taste of asia in barcelona =P.
bought the tapioca rice a lot earlier when i first arrived to make myself happie. and was planning on saving it for a rainy day. and kinda forgot all about it. Shirley being here made me remember =D.
.. and this was... Paella, a typical spanish dish... but tee-styled. LOL. i added bits and pieces of random things i found in my kitchen. it was yummilicious =)
and no. i wasn't lazy. u actually eat it straight from the pan. that's the right way to do it =]
that's all for now. maybe i'll make something cool for dinner too =D.
mannnn i'm so screwed for exams? o.O
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Procrastination.
back from Seville and Granada. much to say about this trip... but i'll do it later =P.
... so i was procrastinating again.
i now have 4 days left. 2 essays. 1 assignment. 2 exams.
somehow that's all supposed to fit into 4 days.
i've been trying to do these 2 essays for the past 2 weeks. actaully. i was only trying to start one of them. -_-". i have gotten NOwhere.
apart from ward grade 12 june rush... i think this is the worst shape i have ever been.
yet all i can think of doing... is creeping facebook and xiaonei. and think about how much i want to be in beijing instead. lol.
gosh.
TINA. do your frigging work. u're not going to bed until you finish a paragraph. Come. FRIGGIN. ON. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
... so i was procrastinating again.
i now have 4 days left. 2 essays. 1 assignment. 2 exams.
somehow that's all supposed to fit into 4 days.
i've been trying to do these 2 essays for the past 2 weeks. actaully. i was only trying to start one of them. -_-". i have gotten NOwhere.
apart from ward grade 12 june rush... i think this is the worst shape i have ever been.
yet all i can think of doing... is creeping facebook and xiaonei. and think about how much i want to be in beijing instead. lol.
gosh.
TINA. do your frigging work. u're not going to bed until you finish a paragraph. Come. FRIGGIN. ON. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
days are beautiful.
beautiful beautiful blue skies in Barcelona.
the grass is the most wonderful shade of green.
the flowers are in full blossom in the most vibrant of shades.
... and my allergies are through the roof trying to kill me.
grrrrrrrrrrr. my eyes itch my head hurts my face is rash-y i'm severely drugged and i can't breathe. grrrrrrrrrrr.
and i have 2 presentations 2 papers 2 exams and 1 assignment in the next 9 days.
and i'm leaving tmr night after 9 hours of class on another trip across the country.
... oh dear. =T
the grass is the most wonderful shade of green.
the flowers are in full blossom in the most vibrant of shades.
... and my allergies are through the roof trying to kill me.
grrrrrrrrrrr. my eyes itch my head hurts my face is rash-y i'm severely drugged and i can't breathe. grrrrrrrrrrr.
and i have 2 presentations 2 papers 2 exams and 1 assignment in the next 9 days.
and i'm leaving tmr night after 9 hours of class on another trip across the country.
... oh dear. =T
Sunday, April 12, 2009
what if.
so i was just going thru my favourites on youtube.
(yes i am still wasting life)
and came across this old school wongfu video.
(yes. my love for this guy goes farrrr back)
so yeah.
happens to be one of the things i've been wondering abt lately.
(no. not related to me personally. tv drama > tina drama, btw. tina has no drama lately. =] )
what if.
so many things. so many times. so many moments.
it's about that one turn. one word. one touch. one last moment.
there's... a small part of me. that keeps wondering.
if only he had just said it in person instead of writing it...
if only she hadn't missed that call.
if only he pulled her back that one last time.
if only she just looked back when she walked away.
if only their friend told her first.
if only ....
so many things. just a matter of that one split second. one decision.
it would've all been different. ... or would it?
so yeah. no. i believe that everything happens for a reason.
therefore. he didn't. and she didn't. and they didn't.
it was probably for the best.
everything happens for a reason.
i just need to be able to see the reason sooner. lol.
(yes i am still wasting life)
and came across this old school wongfu video.
(yes. my love for this guy goes farrrr back)
so yeah.
happens to be one of the things i've been wondering abt lately.
(no. not related to me personally. tv drama > tina drama, btw. tina has no drama lately. =] )
what if.
so many things. so many times. so many moments.
it's about that one turn. one word. one touch. one last moment.
there's... a small part of me. that keeps wondering.
if only he had just said it in person instead of writing it...
if only she hadn't missed that call.
if only he pulled her back that one last time.
if only she just looked back when she walked away.
if only their friend told her first.
if only ....
so many things. just a matter of that one split second. one decision.
it would've all been different. ... or would it?
so yeah. no. i believe that everything happens for a reason.
therefore. he didn't. and she didn't. and they didn't.
it was probably for the best.
everything happens for a reason.
i just need to be able to see the reason sooner. lol.
day of failures =T.
今天一个人在家。
不得不承认... 我居然真的病了。哭~
easter sunday + monday, 所有商店都关门。
还好昨天回来以后去抢购了一番。
自己一个人狂灌orange juice... 至少有vitamin C 嘛。
然后向烧水冲点药喝... 居然忘了...
把锅烧干了至少一个多小时，居然没着火。庆幸庆幸。
为了逃避一大堆的 papers & presentations...
所以狂看 youtube. 收拾我们的flat.
想 roommates 回来以后给他们一个惊喜，或者至少是一个 relief 吧。
头晕晕的但超级勤奋的把家里打扫得干干净净。
然后在厨房里突然发现好像隐隐约约的有煤气味道。
反应半天才发现，擦炉子的时候不小心把四个炉头都擦开了。
但因为鼻子闻不到东西，一直没发现。
赶紧把所有的窗子和们都打开。
超级感谢发明煤气要加味道的人。
也很好奇我要真自己一个人关在厨房里煤气中毒了怎么办... o.O
很失败的一天。grrrrr.
还剩11天就可以见到爸爸妈妈了。
我居然现在病了。argh. =(
不得不承认... 我居然真的病了。哭~
easter sunday + monday, 所有商店都关门。
还好昨天回来以后去抢购了一番。
自己一个人狂灌orange juice... 至少有vitamin C 嘛。
然后向烧水冲点药喝... 居然忘了...
把锅烧干了至少一个多小时，居然没着火。庆幸庆幸。
为了逃避一大堆的 papers & presentations...
所以狂看 youtube. 收拾我们的flat.
想 roommates 回来以后给他们一个惊喜，或者至少是一个 relief 吧。
头晕晕的但超级勤奋的把家里打扫得干干净净。
然后在厨房里突然发现好像隐隐约约的有煤气味道。
反应半天才发现，擦炉子的时候不小心把四个炉头都擦开了。
但因为鼻子闻不到东西，一直没发现。
赶紧把所有的窗子和们都打开。
超级感谢发明煤气要加味道的人。
也很好奇我要真自己一个人关在厨房里煤气中毒了怎么办... o.O
很失败的一天。grrrrr.
还剩11天就可以见到爸爸妈妈了。
我居然现在病了。argh. =(
幸福很简单。
man i'm the master of time wasting.
前两天想起来流星花园2里，杉菜和道明寺是来巴塞罗那玩儿的。
今天把这n多年都没碰过的剧情翻了出来。看着他们玩儿 las ramblas, port olimpique, 在 sagrada familia 前面斗嘴，在 parc guell 送幸福，走散，团聚.... 在我最熟悉的那条小道上，他承诺说他永远不会离开她。
我发现... 好像我当时会选择巴塞罗那，跟这部戏有莫大的关系。
funny how my life is run by television sometimes.
一直很喜欢很喜欢去 parc guell，今天看了他们在那里，更喜欢了。
好像离幸福很近。
阿寺跟杉菜求婚的教堂... 我花了45分钟各种 mad google. lol.
但最后终于找到了
Monasterio de Sant Ponç de Corbera
我很想去看看。一个人就好。
google maps 说20km, 走路大概4小时。
其实也就是在多伦多从公司走回家的距离。
要是有车就好了。
流星花园说这个教堂有幸福的传说。
说在那里许下承诺的情侣，会被天使的祝福保佑。
应该是为了剧情而编的吧？
但是我甘心被骗。也愿意一个人自己去找这个传说。
可惜只剩下12天在这个地方了。
看看吧。
另外。facebook newsfeed 让我无意中发现。。。
曾经相爱的两个人，很久很久以前的时候。。。
居然到现在还断断续续的有联系。
数一数... 八年前的事情了。
我好清楚地记得，她曾经为了他所作的一切。
一幕一幕，那么清新。
当时... 那么死去活来的故事。
如今也变成一晚一晚的drunken clubbing 而淡化了。
她还是很大方的可以wall post: "I miss u. heart." 等等。
很好奇她现在到底是怎么想的。
或许时间真得可以淡化一切。
反正... 时间不能做到的事情... 酒精好像可以麻醉吧。
前两天想起来流星花园2里，杉菜和道明寺是来巴塞罗那玩儿的。
今天把这n多年都没碰过的剧情翻了出来。看着他们玩儿 las ramblas, port olimpique, 在 sagrada familia 前面斗嘴，在 parc guell 送幸福，走散，团聚.... 在我最熟悉的那条小道上，他承诺说他永远不会离开她。
我发现... 好像我当时会选择巴塞罗那，跟这部戏有莫大的关系。
funny how my life is run by television sometimes.
一直很喜欢很喜欢去 parc guell，今天看了他们在那里，更喜欢了。
好像离幸福很近。
阿寺跟杉菜求婚的教堂... 我花了45分钟各种 mad google. lol.
但最后终于找到了
Monasterio de Sant Ponç de Corbera
我很想去看看。一个人就好。
google maps 说20km, 走路大概4小时。
其实也就是在多伦多从公司走回家的距离。
要是有车就好了。
流星花园说这个教堂有幸福的传说。
说在那里许下承诺的情侣，会被天使的祝福保佑。
应该是为了剧情而编的吧？
但是我甘心被骗。也愿意一个人自己去找这个传说。
可惜只剩下12天在这个地方了。
看看吧。
另外。facebook newsfeed 让我无意中发现。。。
曾经相爱的两个人，很久很久以前的时候。。。
居然到现在还断断续续的有联系。
数一数... 八年前的事情了。
我好清楚地记得，她曾经为了他所作的一切。
一幕一幕，那么清新。
当时... 那么死去活来的故事。
如今也变成一晚一晚的drunken clubbing 而淡化了。
她还是很大方的可以wall post: "I miss u. heart." 等等。
很好奇她现在到底是怎么想的。
或许时间真得可以淡化一切。
反正... 时间不能做到的事情... 酒精好像可以麻醉吧。
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
my day off.
lol. so this is the one day break i shouldn't have given myself. but did anyway =P
it's insane how much the weather affects me. i haven't done anything all week because it's been raining like crazy in Barcelona and I can't get the motivation in me to do ANYTHING. I'm supposed to be flying out in about 8 hours but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it. nothing feels real at the moment. lol... =T. i best wake up for my flight or else i'll be pissed =T.
so yes. holed myself up all day in my room watching "Goong" (kdrama) for the Nth time. complete with endless supplies of food and chocolate =). but felt guilty the entire time cuz i knew i should've been doing work =T. but grrrrrrrrr. it's Easter and i don't WANT to do work and it's RAINING. lol. so yes. i was also facebook stalking today... and omg. i know i've been away for a really long time... but facebook is making me feel super.... out of it. lol. i'm totally out of date on everything that's happening in the world... i don't keep up with the news. i don't watch the new movies. i don't catch the gossip and i haven't really been keeping up w/ my friends. i guess the only thing that i am up to date on is grey's. LOL. so yes. was facebook stalking... and suddenly was reminded of allllllllllllllllll the couples that have been going out for a long time. like. OMG. some of my friends / acquaintances have been going out for so long that... o.O. i don't understand. some of them have been going out for like... 4 or 5 years... how is that humanly possible? o.O. i don't understand it o.O. i mean... i do. it's just... o.O. four or five years? actually. I think i'm less surprised at the fact that they've been going out for so long than I am surprised at the fact that it's actually been that long. Am I seriously about to finish 3rd yr of university? OH. and I was watching Goong ... and they were talking about how the girl was 19... i think when i first watched it I was 17 or something.... and then I sat there thinking for a while.... how old am i? o.O? 19? no wait... i can't be 19 anymore.... what was my last birthday? o.O... y can't I remember. 20? okay yeah 20. no wait. wtf? 21? o.O LMAO..... oh dear gosh. a bunch of my friends already have kids.... well I guess it's becoming less and less surprising to hear friends having babies these days.... but... still. their babies are like... 3 yrs old now... oldest kid is 6 already o.O. like.... whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? sooooooooo many couples have been going out for so long too. a lot of them were from high school, so not really surprising or anythig... but when you think... high school was 3 yrs ago. o.O? whaaaaaaaaat? lmao. i'm not lamenting my own oldness. i'm more lamenting the scariness of everyone else around me. I'm still 12 and happily so =). everyone else is just getting scary.
.... i shall now go do some work. and fly to Milan in 8 hours o.O.
... y is everything so surreal =T.
it's insane how much the weather affects me. i haven't done anything all week because it's been raining like crazy in Barcelona and I can't get the motivation in me to do ANYTHING. I'm supposed to be flying out in about 8 hours but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it. nothing feels real at the moment. lol... =T. i best wake up for my flight or else i'll be pissed =T.
so yes. holed myself up all day in my room watching "Goong" (kdrama) for the Nth time. complete with endless supplies of food and chocolate =). but felt guilty the entire time cuz i knew i should've been doing work =T. but grrrrrrrrr. it's Easter and i don't WANT to do work and it's RAINING. lol. so yes. i was also facebook stalking today... and omg. i know i've been away for a really long time... but facebook is making me feel super.... out of it. lol. i'm totally out of date on everything that's happening in the world... i don't keep up with the news. i don't watch the new movies. i don't catch the gossip and i haven't really been keeping up w/ my friends. i guess the only thing that i am up to date on is grey's. LOL. so yes. was facebook stalking... and suddenly was reminded of allllllllllllllllll the couples that have been going out for a long time. like. OMG. some of my friends / acquaintances have been going out for so long that... o.O. i don't understand. some of them have been going out for like... 4 or 5 years... how is that humanly possible? o.O. i don't understand it o.O. i mean... i do. it's just... o.O. four or five years? actually. I think i'm less surprised at the fact that they've been going out for so long than I am surprised at the fact that it's actually been that long. Am I seriously about to finish 3rd yr of university? OH. and I was watching Goong ... and they were talking about how the girl was 19... i think when i first watched it I was 17 or something.... and then I sat there thinking for a while.... how old am i? o.O? 19? no wait... i can't be 19 anymore.... what was my last birthday? o.O... y can't I remember. 20? okay yeah 20. no wait. wtf? 21? o.O LMAO..... oh dear gosh. a bunch of my friends already have kids.... well I guess it's becoming less and less surprising to hear friends having babies these days.... but... still. their babies are like... 3 yrs old now... oldest kid is 6 already o.O. like.... whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? sooooooooo many couples have been going out for so long too. a lot of them were from high school, so not really surprising or anythig... but when you think... high school was 3 yrs ago. o.O? whaaaaaaaaat? lmao. i'm not lamenting my own oldness. i'm more lamenting the scariness of everyone else around me. I'm still 12 and happily so =). everyone else is just getting scary.
.... i shall now go do some work. and fly to Milan in 8 hours o.O.
... y is everything so surreal =T.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
on repeat.
天亮了 天亮了
地球又转一圈了
世界还活生生的存在着
还活着 没想到我还活着
穿越一场海啸什么滋味
我终于亲身体会天崩地裂
筋疲力尽灵魂不在身体里面
然而万岁万岁终于和你有个了结
你一边我一边
我们的世界最好别再重叠
也别再回想那个太长太长的昨天
太多爱太多泪别再这样浪费
天亮了 天亮了 地球又转一圈了
既然我还幸运的活着
当然要全力以赴去快乐
天亮了 天亮了 世界还是好好的
什么痛都是更渺小的
看太阳不是又升起来了
结束一段感情当然不像
瞒个假那么方便 太多时间
太多随便堆在回忆那间房间
但是忍耐一定不去碰它就不危险
你没变 我没变
我们到最后才能懂这一点
人活着不就为了实现一个个心愿
好可惜 我和你 许了不同的愿
我的心是我的 不会再给你了
我是我自己的 我很快乐
地球又转一圈了
世界还活生生的存在着
还活着 没想到我还活着
穿越一场海啸什么滋味
我终于亲身体会天崩地裂
筋疲力尽灵魂不在身体里面
然而万岁万岁终于和你有个了结
你一边我一边
我们的世界最好别再重叠
也别再回想那个太长太长的昨天
太多爱太多泪别再这样浪费
天亮了 天亮了 地球又转一圈了
既然我还幸运的活着
当然要全力以赴去快乐
天亮了 天亮了 世界还是好好的
什么痛都是更渺小的
看太阳不是又升起来了
结束一段感情当然不像
瞒个假那么方便 太多时间
太多随便堆在回忆那间房间
但是忍耐一定不去碰它就不危险
你没变 我没变
我们到最后才能懂这一点
人活着不就为了实现一个个心愿
好可惜 我和你 许了不同的愿
我的心是我的 不会再给你了
我是我自己的 我很快乐
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