love.

was on my way to go meet my grandparents and extended family on the opposite side of beijing by public transit when i managed to get lost trying to switch buses.

as i wandered my way further into lostness.... i stumbled my way into the back streets of beijing, one of those lil pockets that have yet to be dominated by modernity, expats, and internationalization, as the areas where i currently frequent all appear to have been.

the streets... the atmosphere of the surroundings. the sunshining down, the scattered bicyclists, the grey walls, the bright red doors and the shingled roofs.

i had no idea where i was. but the entire place screamed familiarity to me and waves of faded memories that i didn't know existed crashed through me like a train. the street name... and other signs around the area... i swear i don't know. but sound all so familiar.

this felt like a part of Beijing that had been preserved in time, untainted and still, quietly observing the rapid changes taking over the city and its people over the past couple of decades. People from all over China and the rest of the world have come to this city, taken away from it, added to it.... but still, this part of beijing, along with the locals that still reside in the siheyuaners they have lived in for generations, are just calmly going about their lives and sitting back and watching it all happen.

i read somewhere abt beijing people... how they are... inherently proud. born and bred beside the emperial palace, center of the Chinese universe. but they're not possessive and proud like the shanghainese. they are not bitter at the newcomers. they accept. they live and let live. in a way. the world around them is changing too fast to their traditional ways that they grew up in. and the familiar things are falling away, replaced by the newer and better. but still they live their lives with what they have. still walking the hutongs and greeting strangers in their friendly and almost familial tones...

i realized that.... this was the beijing that i saw from the back of my mom's bicycle. this is the beijing that i grew up in. this is the beijing i knew and love. .
this was my world.

.... i had no idea where i was. but this was my world. my love.

i could have wandered around forever =).
but unfortunately i was in a rush and un-lost myself after a couple of questions answered by locals on the street with that familiar accent, and in more friendly tones and details than I have encountered in Beijing all term.

finally go to the station i was looking for and got on my bus. turns out I was 2 stops away from my elementary school, and the bus actually passed my mom's hospital and then my school. I can't believe i havne't been back to visit yet... i can't believe how small it appears... lol... used to seem like such a huge fortress of mysteries with gods and goddesses that would determine my entire future. haha..... must go vist teacher asap.

heard real beijingnese for the first time in ages that afternoon.
i hadn't realized how much i had missed talking like this. my mandarin have become severely adapted to straight mandarin and even some twneseness. -_-". for shame.
i never realized how much was contained in an accent, a way of speaking. and how much that goes straight to the heart.

this is what i love most about beijing.
i realized that i would give up all the penthouses in the world to live in a siheyuaner.
all the busy streets and bright city lights for a narrow, crowded, old hutong.

原来这就是家的感觉.
这是另外一种爱的感觉.
是一种.... 没有理由, 没有道理, 执着的爱.
很傻. 但是我喜欢.

wanna go get lost with me again? =)