motivate me.

it's 10am and I finally made the decision to skip my 3 hour class and sit myself down at bridge.
like the locals would say "我要疯狂学术了“ ( I am going to study like mad today) there is a reason why I never slow down. cuz apparently, if I slow down, then I just lose momentum and lose the will to go on. 最近太颓了 (another local saying... basically meaning I have let my life goto waste lately)

i have done nothing productive since I quit my job. LOL.
i have missed every deadline that existed on my calendar,
and my to-do list is now so massive that I can't even look at it anymore.

So today. I'm doing this. I'm sorting my life out.
for the next 12 hours at Bridge, I'm budgeting myself $100. and for every 1 minute that I am not doing something work related/being productive, $1 off.

[x] Financial Statement Analysis hmwk (by 1pm)
OMG..... it's 7:30pm.... this took me 5 hours... for 3 paragraphs...
what is wrong with me... *wails*....
screw it. i'm going to grocery shopping =D
sad how that seems so exciting right now. lol
[ ] Empress (as break between 1 - 2)
[ ] Org Management research (2-2:30)
[ ] Strategic Management Paper Market Analysis (2:30 - 6pm)
[ ] one chapter of Strategic Management (6-8)
[x] one set of questions (8-10)
[ ] at least 5 things from my massive to-do list (as breaks in between?)

omg. my first exam is in like. 2 weeks and i've yet to read over 70% of the material. o.O
I just realized I have another paper due in 2 weeks too... wtf have i been doing?
lol.. okay this freaks me out.
but it's okay.
i've got motivation =D

T: but... what if I don't do as well and can't get into w/e amazing school you get accepted to?
M: it's okay it's okay. u can do this. and ... i'm fine with anything top 15. so as long as u get into top 15 we'll go together okay?
[ lmao... he canNOT be serious. and i'd NEVER let him do it. but... that's motivation enough for me. i won't let u down. ]
(oh and look. he just walked into bridge. LOL. all the more reason to finish this so we can chill =))

T: *complain complain complain* *rawr* give me motivation!
Mommie: "p-sch p-sch p-sch..."
T: ... wtf r u doing?
Mommie: "... 给你打气啊！" ("adding air for u" - equivalent of "adding oil"?)
T: .... LMAO......... u r SO gay.
heart mommie.

K: "最近在课上都没怎么看到你了，是在忙期中吗？ "
lol.... i can't believe that my absence at a random class i go to for fun was noted. o.O. I will sort this mess out so i can start going to class again... and maybe talk to this guy ;)

J: "How do you have so much time and money to travel the whole world and STILL remain successful"
omg. he thinks i'm "successful". o.O like. WTF.
1) his opinion doesn't matter. i know. y's he even talking to me. like. wtf. (i'm j/k. we're okay. i know)
2) and how? .... honestly. one of these tipsy days maybe i'll actually tell him. that he started it all. way back when. this need to do as much as possible purely for the sake of staying as busy as possible. so that i can't think. can't feel. can't miss him. for the past... *I'm scared to count... 7 years* that was why. and it simply became a habit. so in all honestly? i should thank him.

S: "I don't know if u know but I look up to you. A LOT. you've always been a role model to me as well as a friend".
.... reason enough to go on? gotta live up to expectationssss

M: "he's really happy and it shows. You would die..."
this is motivation because... actually. i wouldn't. i am happy and hey. according to above, i'm "successful". i'm in beijing. having the time of my life. i'm glad he's finally found her. i'm glad everything is good. another burden/worry off my bad. so no. i wouldn't die. i'm not dying. i'm happy. i'm happy for them too =)

SO yes... i've got all the motivation/support in the world. LMAO again at mommie tho. LOL.
LMAO. it's 11. I've spent an hour on this and breakfast. lol.
so if I don't get anything done by 1pm. i'm kicking myself out.