the week of christmas.

it's been a crazy week. everyday has been fully booked from morning to night. constant meetings. constant ppts. constant emails. i think i really really really love what i'm doing. if only i were better at being chinese.
last week flew by without any warning. so in order to make sure that my life doesn't just become ... only work... i booked my weekends and evenings post 9pm completely full for the past week. funny because work requires at least 5 client meetings a week. so while i plan my client meetings for the week, i also plan my social outings for each day. i have actually not had dinner alone for the past week. it's exhausting but it's awesome.

it's 4:30am and i have work in less than 5 hours. but just got home and don't feel like sleeping.

watched 非诚勿扰2 with coworkers at 9pm and headed out to a charity pub night after and then headed to a bar and followed by post-bar food. .... all after a 12 hour work day.

being social and being able to speak english makes me feel more like myself. i'm actually constantly confused. because i often feel like i'm living someone else's life. but i think it's gotten much much better this week that i'm being more social outside of work. meeting all kinds of interesting people. all kinds. i'm trying to convince myself to be more open minded. more accepting. because i promised myself... when he left town... 送给自己一个圣诞礼物。 给别人一个机会，也给自己一个机会。只要不是他。

非诚勿扰2.。。。 我和别人的哭点都不一样。

我那么敏感的一个人。。。。我很清楚一个人不在乎自己的感受。

在一起时的“幸福”。。。其实只有自己一个人感受到了。

那么努力的去感受。。。但其实一点也感觉不到被爱的感觉。

好希望好希望他从此从我的生命中消失。真的。
长痛不如短痛。我真的不想再这样下去了。
当我真的想明白他应该一直都知道的那一刻开始，觉得自己好傻。竟然明明已经长那么大了，还能被这种人忽悠。他是觉得耍我好玩儿么？而且时间永远把握的那么好。每次刚刚习惯了没有他。习惯了不想他。。。他就会突然甩个东西出来。把我搅乱。
其实我看见那句话的时候我真的已经一点儿都没有反应了。 只是觉得他真tmd 2。真tmd无聊。真tmd幼稚。
要是男人的话都能信，一定是疯了。