(in)dependence.

when i was lil. i hated moving.
but as i grew older. i realized that moving was a good thing.
i see the ability to up and leave and move on as a strength.
yeah. there r days where i think. damn. i don't have anyone that i grew up with. that really really matters and knows me like that.
but i think. most of the time. it's a great thing.

there are always trade-offs in life.
the more u care about ppl. the more being w/ ppl makes u happy.
the more ur happiness is dependent on other ppl.
the more power u give them to let you down. to hurt you.
somehow i keep letting myself forget that too often.

we all make our own decisions.
we are all selfish in our own ways.
u can't blame other ppl when it is u that decided tied ur own happiness to them.
u also can't expect everyone to have the same values and priorities.
they're other people.

i used to tell myself to never get attached.
i also used to warn ppl to not count on me.
cuz i'd promise to disappoint.
haha.... i was so happy for x.xxxx when i realized he had finally learned to protect himself from me. haha...

but i'd forgotten because i thought i had grown up.
that i was past that stage.
that i can now be strong enough to handle it either way.

maybe we never actually learn

oooh. reminds me. grey's quote that i used to really like. (man..i really need to get a memory)...

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.

don't get attached.